Pick-up (1975)

... aka: Pazuzu
... aka: Swamp Lord

Directed by:
"Bennie" (Bernard) Hirschenson

Those damn dope-smokin' hippies are it again! Chuck (Alan Long) has been hired to transport a mobile home (fashioned out of a large bus and even with a working telephone inside!) to Tallahassee from somewhere in Southern Florida. Around Naples, he pulls over take a leak and a fun-loving free spirit named Carol (Jill Senter) comes running out an overgrown field asking for a ride. Carol also has a friend, Maureen (Gini Eastwood), who's more introspective, solemn and serious than her friend, and really into astrology ("Aries is in a time of turbulence") and tarot cards, with her. Considering both girls are attractive, Chuck is more than happy to oblige. After they smoke up ("Wanna get high?"), Carol treats a truck full of rowdy guys to a dance and a flash and then the weather starts getting windy and rainy because of a hurricane. They encounter a guy in a yellow raincoat redirecting traffic, who points them off the main road. Another sign directs them onto another road and they drive on through the night with so sign of civilization in sight. The bus  finally gets hung up in the mud and they then find themselves trapped somewhere deep in the Everglades.

Chuck and Carol take a walk, find a baby raccoon and do the free love thing (i.e. stripping off their clothes and running naked through a field), while Maureen has a strange encounter with a woman clad in white named Pythia (Bess Douglass), who emerges from the swamp and announces herself as the "Priestess of Apollo." She tells Maureen she's about to enter a new spiritual life and will serve as her successor and then says "The wrath of the python is the enemy of Apollo. He is the messenger of Pazuzu who seeks to destroy the spirit of Delphi and your God." (Say what?) Pythia then hands over a silver scepter and disappears from most of the rest of the film. Maureen finds an altar in the woods, strips off her clothes and writhes around in ecstasy. All three main characters have brief flashbacks to their childhoods and even get to play themselves as children. Maureen was raised in an oppressive religious environment, played organ and was molested on a pew by her priest right in front of a crucified Jesus statue. Carol grew up in a restrictive household with a mother who spies on her phone conversations and bitches about "the new morality," the pill and abortion. So no surprise she rebelled by becoming a sexually aggressive teenager. And Chuck's controlling mother demands he go to his room and beg for forgiveness for using a profanity.

While the two lovebirds are outside cavorting around (or on a swing together) in the nude to the tune of a song called "Touch Me" ("It's young. It's warm. It's freeeEEEEeeeeEEEeee!"), Maureen keeps flipping over grim tarot cards of "Death" and "The Devil." She's then visited by conservative Senator Max McIver (Don Penny), who discusses disarmament, Russia, abortion and starts flipping through papers about other hot button issues. Afterward, Maureen encounters a creepy clown (also Penny), who hands he a balloon and chases her around. Chuck's boss (Tom Quinn) keeps calling wondering where he is and threatening to send an airplane out to look for him. Chuck and Maureen sneak off to have sex on an altar while the clown, the priest, the senator and the goddess sneak around watching them. Carol dances around a campfire and then the group of guys she flashed earlier show up and start ripping her clothes off. There are frequent cut away shots to trees, water, the overcast sky, a python and flamingos; all accompanied by the near-constant sound of birds.

This Crown International release is not the sleazy 'hitchhiker' grindhouse flick one may expect based on the title and the poster. This is actually more art-house on a budget, made by an unknown, mostly-inexperienced cast and crew clearly aiming for something more profound than the usual drive-in exploitation flick. While it's loaded with nudity and soft-core sex scenes for the drive-in crowd, the story is nonsensical, the pacing is slow, the music is genuinely bizarre and the photography is sumptuous, dream-like and sometimes quite striking. Experimental quick-cut editing techniques in the spirit of such earlier trailblazers as Midnight Cowboy (1968) and Easy Rider (1969) are also utilized with varying degrees of success. When this works it's pretty fascinating and inventive. When it doesn't, it's blandly self-indulgent. The director ultimately - and rather unfortunately - allows this to drift off into an inaccessible realm that will only really appeal to fans of the vague and random, but it's still hard not to at least appreciate the effort that went into this.

Pick-up (shot in 14 days under the working titles of "Pazuzu" and "Swamp Lord") sat out the entire VHS era with no known releases but has since been picked up for distribution by numerous companies. It was paired with The Teacher (1974) for the 2nd installment of the "Welcome to the Grindhouse" series by BCI Eclipse, then was included in Mill Creek's 8 film box set "Drive-In Cult Classics;" which also included Cindy and Donna (1970), The Sister-In-Law (1974), The Teacher (1974), Best Friends (1975), Trip With the Teacher (1975) and Malibu High (1979); all from the Crown International catalogue.

★★1/2

Terror on the Beach (1973) (TV)

Directed by:
Paul Wendkos

It's been a trying year for the Glynn family, so dad Neil (Dennis Weaver) organizes an end-of-the-summer family trip for his wife Arlene (Estelle Parsons) and two college-aged kids, DeeDee (Susan Dey) and Steve (Kristoffer Tabori). They hit the road in their yellow Open Road camper van on the way to the secluded "Dune Beach" for a weekend of camping, fishing, clam digging and some much-needed family bonding. Like with most other families, some deep-seeded issues and inter-generational conflicts arise that needed worked out. Steve has just completed his first year of college but wants to drop out, much to the horror of his father. Neil has been working so hard he's been neglecting Arlene and she perhaps needs more attention than ever because both of her kids are now out of the house and she has no clue what to do with herself. And DeeDee, who's resigned herself to the role of playing peacekeeper and adopted a goody goody routine around her folks, has had a taste of women's lib in school so now she has a hard time relating to her homemaker mother. It seems everyone's been fighting and arguing a lot recently and Neil's hoping the trip will be a good chance for the family to reset and get their bearings. But like they always say, there's nothing like clashing with a group of desert-dwelling psychos to bring a family closer together. Just ask the Carter family from The Hills Have Eyes.

Before they even reach the beach, the Glynn clan have two run-ins with a strange group of aimless, obnoxious hippies whose mode of transport are some dune buggies and a vintage fire engine. They first run them right off the road and then fool them into thinking they're broken down just to annoy them. Steve wants to go to the police immediately, but Neil (who the thugs dub "Mr. White Bread") suggests they just ignore them and go about their business. After the family arrive at the beach, things quickly begin to escalate. The hippies crash their dinner and eat their food, destroy their campsite, ogle DeeDee in her bikini and scare Neil by dressing a mannequin in his daughter's clothes and lying it face down in the water. By the time Neil finally decides to pack up and get the family out of there, they discover the radiator cap from the camper has been stolen so they can't go anywhere. The goons then proceed to terrorize them all night long into the next day; blasting wild animals sounds using radio equipment, hiding a microphone and playing back their personal conversations, tipping over the van with them in it and chasing them around the dunes with their buggies trying to run them over. Neil finally must confront the gang face-to-face in order to protect his family.

Terror on the Beach is one of many films from the decade with an "It's either you or them" mantra and featuring a mild-mannered "normal" pacifist driven to violence out of sheer necessity to protect himself, his loved ones and / or his way of life. These kind of movies; spearheaded by the success of such films as Straw Dogs (1971) and Deliverance (1972), were extremely popular at the time. Beach also brings in another popular 70s theme: the violent hippie cult; something else common in this post-Manson family era. Minus the cannibalism and gore, this is actually extremely similar to the aforementioned The Hills Have Eyes, with a vacationing middle class family being terrorized in a dusty, desert area and having to become the aggressors in order to survive. Because it was a made-for-TV movie, the thrills are tame, the bad guys don't seem as threatening and it doesn't have the luxury of graphic violence for impact like many of the theatrical releases. Nevertheless, the film manages to say what it wants to say and do so in an intelligent yet far less exploitative manner since it depends largely on its cast and a multi-layered and thoughtful script by Bill Svanoe.

Unfairly demonizing the generally peaceful youth counterculture (who were given quite the bad rap by Manson and company) was a trap many of these films fell into and this likewise presents the 'bad guys' in a one-dimensional fashion and refuses to characterize any of them. However, this is effectively counteracted by giving the children - not their parents - the upper hand in dealing with the hippies. They are, after all, still within the same peer group, so it makes perfect sense. Steve wants to go to the police before things get out of hand, and he's right. They should have and would have if not for Neil's outmoded way of dealing with matters. When the hippies manage to get the mom and daughter alone, it's actually the daughter who knows how to calmly and effectively handle the situation so it doesn't get out of hand, not her flustered mother. It's also worth noting that it's an act of undeserved compassion on DeeDee's part that ultimately saves her family, not the violent retribution of her father. The film allows both kids the opportunity to be defiant of the ideals and expectations of the past generation, but in a non-violent and positive way, and is uncommonly well-rounded in exploring its subject matter, which elevates it above many similar tales. The shooting locations (California's Pismo Beach) are very nice as well, and the cinematography is above par for a 70s TV movie.

The cast includes Scott Hylands (who also did a great job playing psycho in the vastly underrated DADDY'S GONE A-HUNTING [1969]) as the sociopath hippie ringleader Jerry, Michael Christian (who went on to play the title role in the exploitation favorite Poor Pretty Eddie [1975]), drive-in movie goddess Roberta Collins (who's completely wasted here as one of the hippie chicks), Jacqueline Giroux (ditto) and 80s women-in-prison staple Carole Ita White (also of TV's "Laverne and Shirley"). This CBS TV Movie of the Week has never officially been on VHS or DVD, though there are black market copies available and it turns up on the Fox Movie Channel on occasion.

★★★

Stage Fright (1987)

... aka: Aquarius
... aka: Bloody Bird
... aka: Deliria
... aka: Sound Stage Massacre
... aka: StageFright: Aquarius
... aka: StageFright: Theater des Todes
... aka: Théâtre de la peur, Le (Theater of Death)

Directed by:
"Michael" (Michele) Soavi

The same year he was second unit director on Dario Argento's similarly-themed OPERA (1987), Michele Soavi made his own stage theater-set slasher flick called Deliria. For the American release it was re-titled Stage Fright, which caused a little confusion with another 80s slasher flick with a theater setting from Australia called Nightmares (1980), which had also been issued on VHS as STAGE FRIGHT. Regardless of what title people saw it under (Aquarius, The Bloody Bird and Sound Stage Massacre were just a few of the other titles), it was the film that put the director on the radar of horror fans worldwide. Prior to this, he'd been mentored by a whole host of notable Italian horror / exploitation filmmakers; serving as an actor, writer and / or assistant director on films made by Lamberto Bava, Lucio Fulci, Joe D'Amato and others. It was the Argento connection though that echoed strongest; the two men had worked on over half-a-dozen projects throughout the 80s, and inevitable comparisons were drawn between Soavi's visual style and Argento's. Argento however was not at all involved in the production of Soavi's feature film debut. He'd actually been recommended for this job by D'Amato, who also produced the film. The screenplay was from "Lew Cooper;" an alias for sometimes actor / sometimes writer George Eastman, who's probably best known to horror buffs for playing the cannibal-killer in THE GRIM REAPER (1980); another D'Amato film.

The action centers around a minor stage production at a small theater called "The Night Owl," which is being put together by director Peter Connors (David Brandon). Peter is desperate for a hit (and money) and has concocted a "controversial" story line about a killer in a giant owl headdress who is raped by one of his resurrected female victims. He's also a pretentious prick who constantly screams at and berates his cast and crew and demands more "Sex... S-E-X!" from his nubile lead actress Alicia (Barbara Cupisti), who's at her wit's end with him. Other expected theater types are around, including sleazy / pushy producer Ferrari (Piero Vida), backstabbing diva Laurel (Mary Sellers), Peter's harried assistant Mark (Martin Philips), bitchy queen Brett ("John Morghen" / Giovanni Lombardo Radice), dancer Corinne ("Lori Parrel" / Loredana Parrella) and Sybil (Jo Ann Smith) and Danny (Robert Gligorov), a couple of actors dealing with an unwanted pregnancy. After Alicia injures her ankle, she and wardrobe mistress Betty (Ulrike Schwerk) sneak off to the nearest hospital to get it treated. They end up at a mental asylum instead, where psycho Irving Wallace (Clain Parker), who murdered sixteen people and chopped them up into little pieces, is being temporarily housed. Irving manages to kill an orderly, escapes the building and hides out in the backseat of Betty's car when they head back to the theater.

Not long after they return, Betty is found outside with a pick-axe through her head. The police are called in to investigate but there's no trace of the killer anywhere, so the show must go on. Peter decides to make some alterations to their play to cash in on the publicity of both the escaped murderer and Betty's murder, and rushes to get it all started. With a few police officers (played by Mickey Knox and the director) stationed outside just in case, Peter organizes an over-night practice session with his chief cast and crew. Naturally, the killer hasn't really gone anywhere and is just hiding out inside the theaters waiting to strike. He murders the guy playing the killer in the play, steals his owl mask and then begins bumping everyone off one by one. No one can get out of the building because there's just one exit (gee, talk about your fire hazards); an impenetrable steel door that can only be opened by a key that has turned up missing.

Though the film has its fans, and its moments, overall it's mostly just an average, watchable, unexceptional film in its category. For the entire first hour we're treated to little of interest: the plot is ordinary, the dialogue is terrible, the characters are annoying / unlikable stereotypes (not helped any by the awful English dubbing) and the whole thing plays out in an extremely predictable fashion. There's a great music score (from Simon Boswell), decent cinematography and art direction and some blood to help us along, though. Numerous victims are stabbed, a few are axed, an eyeball gets gouged, an arm and head get chopped off, a body is sawed in half, someone is set on fire and, since the theater also happens to have a woodworking shop inside, the killer even manages to get his hands on an electric drill and a chainsaw. Once everyone but our heroine is killed off, the film begins to improve significantly, with nicely stylized and composed shots and some suspenseful cat-and-mouse moments. Particularly good is a sequence where our heroine is under the stage trying to quietly retrieve a key wedged in a crack while the killer sits in a chair right above her with the theater's feline mascot Lucifer sitting on his lap.

Other scenes in the final half hour are lessened somewhat by idiocy. A good example is when the killer corners Alicia up on some scaffolding, gets knocks off and is left dangling from a wire and trying to climb back up. Our heroine, who has an axe in her hands, frantically begins chopping the wire when she could just as easily chop him and end it all. After the killer falls, she just drops the axe for no reason and walks back down to where the psycho is,  completely unarmed. A final "shock" scene was also grafted on at the very end that's really lame.

Though Stage Fright cost less than a million dollars to make, it was a theatrical flop in Italy. Here in the U.S. it received a very limited big screen release in 1989 before being issued to VHS later that same year by Imperial Entertainment. Anchor Bay was the first to get it out onto DVD and it has since been released on numerous other labels. Soavi went on to make La chiesa / The Church (1989), La setta / "The Sect" (1991; U.S. title = The Devil's Daughter) and the cult favorite Cemetery Man (1994), but has since pretty much bowed out of the horror genre. He even passed up the opportunity to direct From Dusk Till Dawn in 1995 during his hiatus and now mostly directs Italian TV movies.

★★1/2