Le ravissement de Frank N. Stein (1982)

... aka: Ravishing of Frank N. Stein, The

Directed by:

Georges Schwizgebel

Truly amazing how obscure stuff like this can be plucked right out of the ether whenever a famous, overexposed celebrity gives it just a second or two of their attention. A still from this 9-minute short was posted on Kanye West's Instagram account in anticipation of the release of his 2021 album Donda and then suddenly everyone's watching it, giving it 5 star ratings, writing pretentious reviews all over the internet and going into deep examinations of why the artist brought it to their attention in the first place. The most liked review on LB states "Perpetual descent into unending permutations of geometric dungeon gradually inducing greater and greater hallucinatory flickering like an unending transcription of becoming / coming-into-being mapped into cryptic Wizardry style wireframe dungeon crawling." Yeah man! Not that I necessarily mind any of this per se. I just find it interesting as well as very, very amusing. For the record, Kanye's seal of approval wasn't really even anything new. He just happens to be much more famous than Oneohtrix Point Never, who'd already used a still from this for the cover of their sixth studio album, R Plus Seven, in 2013. Funny thing is, I actually didn't find the short itself pretentious at all, just the silly gobbledygook people slap together to try to describe something like this in more "intellectual" terms.

This is a pretty straightforward birth-life changes-love audio-visual experience, which melds animation, surrealism and great experimental music by Rainer Boesch and Michael Horowitz to hypnotic effect. We open with flashes of blurry light, followed by what look like random brush strokes. Some dissolves are used to bring certain images into clearer detail, like bones, skulls, the Bride of Frankenstein and, finally, Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory. As the camera moves forward in the lab, we find a doorway. From there on out, the camera travels through one doorway after another. Things start out dark and become brighter. Shapes are then introduced. Those shapes eventually become silhouettes of faceless people, which then become more detailed the more rooms the camera enters.

Occasionally, we head down a flight of of stairs. We also travel through a tunnel. Sometimes color and background scenery (mountains, the ocean) are introduced briefly as the people-shapes go through some fuzzy metamorphosis and come into greater and greater detail. We're eventually left with numerous Frankenstein Monsters and Brides, which culminate in a recreation of the famous rejection scene in Whale's Bride of Frankenstein (1935). Make of it what you want, or make nothing of it at all. Either way, it's appreciable as a piece of visual art on whichever terms you choose. Let's just hope Kim Kardashian doesn't suddenly start taking a liking to Larry Buchanan or Todd Sheets movies any time soon.

Dialogue-free so there's no language barrier to overcome, this was nominated for various awards at film festivals like the Berlin International Film Festival and the Chicago International Film Festival. It's included on a DVD box set (released in Switzerland only) along with 14 other shorts from the director. It's also currently on Youtube.

★★★

I Was a Teenage Frankenstein (1957)

... aka: Des filles pour Frankenstein (Girls for Frankenstein)

... aka: El hijo de Frankenstein (The Son of Frankenstein)

... aka: La strage di Frankenstein (The Massacre of Frankenstein)

... aka: Teenage Frankenstein

Directed by:

Herbert L. Strock

Producer Herman Cohen had a big hit on his hands with I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF (1957) in the summer of 1957, which reputedly made 2 million on a budget of just 82,000 dollars. He retained much of the same team and then immediately went into production on this follow-up, which he also co-wrote with frequent collaborator Aben Kandel. So just how rushed was the production? Well, it began shooting in October 1957 and was in theaters just in time for Thanksgiving, a mere five months after Werewolf debuted. If that wasn't impressive enough, the same folks decided to tackle vampires while they were at it and made Blood of Dracula around the same time, which focused on a teenage female bloodsucker. The three films then got mixed and matched as double features over the next few years. It was all about catering directly to the until-then-ignored teen demographic, who were flocking in droves to newly-established drive-in theaters.

Whit Bissell, the same man responsible for transforming Michael Landon into a wolf man, returns in an almost identical role as yet another untrustworthy adult / unscrupulous mad scientist preying on yet another naïve teen. Bissell's character this time out is Professor Frankenstein, an English academic (curiously lacking any kind of British accent) whose lofty career ambitions far outweigh any moral or ethical crises of conscience. Temporarily living in the U. S. and working the college circuit as a guest lecturer, the professor's ranting and raving about finding a way to graft whole human limbs from the dead onto the bodies of the living brings skepticism from his peers. He concludes: "I'll hold to my beliefs and some day, very soon possibly, I'll prove them so conclusively that even cynics like you all over the world will be convinced!" And that he does! As a descendant of the notorious Baron Frankenstein, who'd expect anything less?

Frankenstein manages to coerce / blackmail his supportive colleague and friend, physicist Dr. Karlton (Robert Burton), into helping him to construct an entire human using the body parts stolen from cadavers. But not just any body will do. After all, he's well aware of what happened to his ancestor because he wasn't too particular about where he got his spare limbs from. Nope. This Frankenstein believes in a theory called "selective breeding." After all, "If you breed morons, you beget morons." He only wants the finest of body parts from strong, able-bodied young men or, as he calls them, "the ingredients of youth." A "worm out body inhabited by an overtaxed brain" simply won't suffice. Right as Frankenstein is laying out his master plan, the sound of car brakes and a loud bang are heard coming from outside. There's been a terrible car accident. And the drivers were teenagers. And one of those bodies was thrown from the vehicle. And the body that was thrown from the vehicle happens to belong to a strapping, muscular young man. Whatta coincidence!

Despite a large crowd gathering at the scene, the professor and Karlton somehow manage to scoop the boy's corpse up and carry it back home undetected. Thankfully, Frankenstein's already prepared for such an incident. Down in his basement, he has what he calls his "personal morgue;" a laboratory complete with cold lockers to store bodies, a temperature control that he keeps the place at near-freezing temperatures to help preserve corpses and an alligator pit (!!) to dispose of discarded body parts. But Frankenstein will need plenty of time. After all, the car crash victim has had his head crushed in, his face mangled beyond recognition and both of his hands plus a leg injured beyond repair. Soon after, another "Whatta coincidence!" moment - a plane crash killing star athletes - makes the necessary body parts available. Well, available if one is willing to do a little grave digging and corpse thievery, which our determined doctor Is more than willing to do! A couple of arms from a champion wrestler and a leg from a star football player later and the human jigsaw is complete.

In order to get the peace and quiet needed, the professor has asked a former assistant, lovely university hospital nurse Margaret (Phyllis Coates), to come to stay at his home and act as his secretary while he's working. She's to handle all of his business and personal affairs, keep any people / distractions away and not ask any questions about what he's doing. And when he's through, he plans on taking her back to England with him after his visa expires and marrying her. However, the relationship rapidly deteriorates whenever Margaret, ya know, starts expecting things. He tries to pacify her by taking her to Lovers Lane but she then begins snooping around his off-limits lab, which puts her in danger.

After the "monster" (Gary Conway) is revived, he also starts to cause the professor problems. Though he's obedient at first and patient through his exercise regiments, speech therapy ("Speak! You've got a civil tongue in your head! I know you have because I sewed it back myself!"), vitamin shots and "electrical treatments," he soon tires of being locked away in the basement and desires companionship. There's still one major problem with him: Though he may have the body of an Adonis, he has the face of Joseph Merrick. Frankenstein uses that to his advantage and informs his creation that he'll only fix his face if he remains obedient to him. Still, the monster can't resist venturing out of the lab. He sneaks into town late one night and strangles a screaming blonde bombshell to death after busting through her window.

Showing that he's willing to go to great lengths, including murder at his master's behest, the creature is finally allowed his new face. The professor is even nice enough to take him to Lovers Lane and let him pick out the one he wants. The two stumble upon handsome teenager Bob (Conway again) and his date necking in a car. The creature knocks out the girl and then they kill and decapitate Bob; bringing his head back to the lab for a quickie full-face transplant that works out surprisingly well. His experiment now complete, Professor Frankenstein then plots to return to the UK with his creature... only he plans on first disassembling him for easier transport! As that's going on, a pair of coppers (George Lynn, John Cliff) investigate the murders. The last couple of minutes are in color.

Unimaginatively shot, lifelessly directed and very talky, this mildly lurid, pseudo-camp effort has to default back to its cast to provide most of the entertainment value. Good thing then that at least a few of the stars deliver. Prolific character actor Bissell is given a rare (his only?) top billed lead role and offers up a cold, calculating, arrogant and completely unfeeling / sociopathic Frankenstein. Upon seeing his newly-revived creation cry, instead of offering an sympathetic ear, his first instinct is to exclaim "Even his tear ducts work!" and how he sets up one character's demise is extremely mean-spirited and more than just a little sadistic! While Bissell is given some hokey dialogue, his dry and dead-serious delivery helps make it all work. His version of Frankenstein is also notable as being entirely detestable... There is NOTHING even remotely likable about this asshole!

Conway, in either his first or second film (he was also in Corman's Viking Women and the Sea Serpent the same year), offers up an earnest performance as the creature. Prior to acting, he got by working as a near-nude model in "physique" magazines, which probably functioned mostly as gay porn back then. A year after appearing in this, he married Miss America 1957, Marian McKnight, and the two are still together to this day... over 60 years later. Now there's a love story for ya. Conway would sort-of reprise his role in the same company's HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER (1958) in the same Phillip Scheer make-up.

This played theatrically on an AIP double bill with Blood of Dracula (re-titled Blood is My Heritage in the UK). Strangely, and unlike most other American genre films from this time, this one's never been given a legitimate DVD release and I'm not entirely sure why that is. There's a rumor that the current owner, former actress Susan Hart (widow of AIP co-founder James H. Nicholson), is holding out for more money, but it's hard to tell. The only official U.S. home video release I'm aware of is a 1991 VHS from RCA / Columbia.

★★