Corpses Are Forever (2003)

... aka: Nerve

Directed by:
Jose Prendes

Though far from being the worst film reviewed here, Corpses is certainly one of the most disappointing. What we have here is a movie that features a wonderful B horror cast all giving enjoyable performances in a film that's a completely frustrating, incoherent and over-stuffed mess. Director / writer / producer/star Jose Prendes, I've read, is a "trust fund baby" who sank a lot of his own inherited money into this project, so it's fitting in a way he's solely responsible for sinking the ship. What I didn't like is that people like Richard Lynch, Debbie Rochon, Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley and Don Calfa were on board with him. However, none of them have a thing to be embarrassed about; they all do their jobs well and earn this film a better rating that it otherwise would have gotten for their dedication, professionalism and talent. It is Prendes who curdles this proceedings with his amateurism both in front of and behind the camera. He truly is his own worst enemy. It's difficult to sum up the plot of this movie in comprehensible terms, but it's safe to say it tries to cram in everything but the kitchen sink.

Beginning in black and white, it starts with a confused, wounded man named Quint Barrow, played by Prendes, whose bizarrely awful attempt at a British (I think) accent must be heard to be believed. His voice-over narration goes on and on, his young son is missing and he thinks he's being trailed. After a few of these noir-ish scenes, the film suddenly switches to color and to one of the most poorly-choreographed fight scenes in recent history. Prendes now gets to play bad-ass and use some kindergarten kung-fu moves on some slow and incredibly non-threatening zombies. The color stock also denotes that we are now in the post-apocalyptic future, which is in a state of "permanent darkness" and over-run with the living dead (though after the first fight, the living dead don't make another appearance until near the end). Prendes is now an amnesiac government agent named Malcolm Grant and he drops the phony accent in favor of his real-life droopy-dog blandness and cue-card line delivery. Malcolm ends up at a secret government facility run by the sinister General Morton (Lynch), who is actually the devil in disguise. There's a truth serum administered by a friendly lady doctor (Stevens), a tough priest (Bill Perlach), a sexy back-stabber of a wife with her own agenda (Rochon), a young infected woman on the verge of becoming a zombie (Felissa Rose), lots of gung-ho soldiers and others that cross in and out of the senseless plot. More black-and-white flashbacks to the past feature Quigley (who is murdered, but returns in the present as some kind of giggly ghost) and Conrad Brooks.

This type of movie is pretty easy to defend by purists with one of those comments like "You just didn't get it." I can say, fine, maybe I didn't 'get all of it,' but what can be said about a movie that makes you not really care to? The material presented here is not over anyone's head and it is not enjoyable to try to wade through it all; this is just very bad writing that has no idea how to weave the multiple story threads together in any accessible or entertaining way. It is not enjoyably enigmatic like a David Lynch movie. He doesn't even approach the style and dream-like aesthetics of Lynch. There is just so much here to try to deal with that just about every plot device is given cursory treatment. Many ideas are introduced and not explored or just dropped altogether because there is no time to satisfyingly deal with them. It is not fun to try to piece together the half-assed elements of this film, it is just irritating.

Like I said earlier, watching the entertaining name value cast at work provides the best moments in this film. Richard Lynch injects a great deal of humor and professionalism to the film. Debbie is fine as the leather-clad femme fatale not to be trusted, though her role does not give her a lot to work with. Stevens, always better at these intellectual roles, is brainy and a bit quirky here. Linnea gets to play it both ways; serious and campy. Rose and Calfa (using the name "Lanc Fladoda") both have a scene apiece, and deliver. Brooks, eh... he's Brooks. I know I've been tough on Jose here; he does have a few good ideas and his direction is not entirely bad; there's a lot of energy and some style and creativity (a black-and-white scene with a glass of blood in color, a few elaborate trailing shots) present in this film. But next time he should find someone else to write the script (or at least co-author it with him) and definitely needs a new leading man; he is duller than David Schwimmer, has very little on-screen appeal and sucks the life right out of the scenes he is in... which is most of them.

Corpses started life as a short (called Nerve) before being expanded into a feature length film. Nerve featured Jose, Linnea and Conrad; the footage of which may have been incorporated directly into Corpses.

★1/2

Return of the Living Dead, The (1985)

Directed by:
Dan O'Bannon

A comic spin on George Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968) based - at least in part - on contributions from several Romero movie alum; Night co-writer John A. Russo, Night co-producer Russell Streiner and Rudy Ricci, who co-wrote Romero's romantic comedy THERE'S ALWAYS VANILLA (1971), this managed to carve its own path and proved to be pretty influential in its own right. Originally slated to be directed by Tobe Hopper, O'Bannon got the job instead and did a major re-write on the project's previous materials; adding most of the humor to the film himself. It also happened to be released the same year as DAY OF THE DEAD (1985), Romero's third installment in his "Dead" trilogy. Upon release, instant and perhaps unfair comparisons were drawn between the two films, with Return clearly coming out on top. Being the #1 box office draw the week it debuted, it not only managed to pummel Day (a flop by comparison) at the box office but also received a much-warmer reception from both audiences and mainstream critics. Roger Ebert, for instance, awarded Return with a 3 star "thumb's up" while Day received a discouraging 1 1/2 star "thumb's down." Regardless of the initial reaction nearly thirty years ago, both films have gone on to become very popular and respected films within the genre.

Though I like both movies a lot, I might even have to agree with the general consensus that Return is the more successful of the two, but I only say that judging both by what they were intended to be, not by directly comparing them. Day is a serious, apocalyptic horror tale, whereas Return is a comic spin on zombie films. Romero's film is bleak, gory, claustrophobic and dialogue-heavy. It has some very interesting ideas and is a thoughtful and entertaining film, but suffers from an uneven cast, with several key players giving grating, distracting, over-the-top performances. On the other hand, Return does an impressive balancing act, delivering plenty of laughs (more prevalent in the first half) that somehow never manage to compromise the horror content (which take an increasingly tighter hold as the film progresses). Return is also inventive, clever, well-paced and benefits a lot from the casting of three veteran character actors (Clu Gulager, James Karen and Don Calfa), usually support players all, and giving them each a chance to shine in their respective roles.

Frank (Karen, giving a terrific comic performance here) runs the Uneeda Medical Supply Warehouse in Louisville, Kentucky. After his boss Burt (Gulager) heads out for the Fourth of July weekend, Frank starts showing new employee Freddy (Thom Mathews) the ropes. Down in the basement are several metal drums, accidentally sent there by the military and each containing a shriveled corpse that Frank claims used to be living dead (Frank also claims that - wink, wink - Night of the Living Dead was based on a true story). One of the drums springs a leak, spraying Frank and Freddy directly in the face with a chemical called Trioxin, which knocks them both unconscious. When the two finally come to, they're deathly ill and notice that things in the warehouse that were dead before have miraculously been brought back to life... including a cadaver they have stored in the freezer! They, with help from Burt (who's called back in to help), dismember the corpse with a hacksaw and get nearby mortician Ernie (Calfa) to burn the remains in his crematorium. With the evidence now gone, everyone breaths a sigh of relief... at least temporarily.

The fumes from the crematorium head straight up into the sky, where they cause a sudden thunderstorm. The rain (which contains traces of the toxic chemical) coats the ground at neighboring "Resurrection Cemetery" and bring the dead crawling out of their graves. Freddy's girlfriend Tina (Beverly Randolph) and some other friends just so happen to be there hanging out and end up getting in the middle of things. Unlike most earlier zombie films, the zombies here can talk, are clever enough to lure victims into their clutches (one even uses a police radio to call in more paramedics and cops at one point) and are not so much interested in eating humans as they are feasting on human brains. After all, "It hurts to be dead." Return is also noteworthy for featuring fast-moving, agile zombies who don't just shuffle around, but actually chase after victims. (The number of people who run around claiming that 21 DAYS LATER... [2002] created "running zombies" - and these are people who should know better - is insane!)

Eventually, the military gets wind of what's going down in Louisville and decide to do exactly what the military probably would do in real life if something like this were to occur.

Of the cast, Karen gets most of the laughs (my favorite bit is when he starts beating a revived "split dog" with a crutch!), though both Gulager ("I hit the fucking brain!") and Calfa have their moments. And when the film becomes more serious in tone, all three actors adjust accordingly and smoothly to the material. Another standout in the cast is Linnea Quigley. Playing the role of a morbid punkette named Trash, she does a memorable dance atop a cemetery crypt, is killed and returns from the dead as a zombie... all the while sans clothing. This role turned Quigley into one of the most beloved female horror stars of the last thirty years, though she would seldom get such a high profile movie as this one. Another of the actresses, Jewel Shepard, also used this film to launch her career as a "Scream Queen," though to date she's amassed only a handful of genre film credit and never the lead role. Others in the cast include Miguel A. Nunez Jr. and Mark Venturini (who both had roles in FRIDAY THE 13TH V the same year), John Philbin and Brian Peck.

Some of the zombie make-up is a little minimal and forgettable (every once in awhile a non-made up zombie extra can be spotted amongst the crowd), but the featured effects are solid. The oily, skeletal "tar man" zombie (who escaped from the broken military canister) and a rotten half woman zombie are especially good. There's also a great soundtrack, featuring songs from The Cramps ("The Surfin Dead"), The Damned, Roky Erickson, SSQ and others. Debuting director O'Bannon had already scripted the huge hit ALIEN (1979), and even had some prior experience with zombies, having written the sleeper DEAD & BURIED (1981) a few years earlier. It's a shame he hasn't had the opportunity to direct more because Return and his next effort, the Lovecraft-inspired THE RESURRECTED (1991), are both well above average.

As with all successful horror films, a handful of variable sequels followed. The awkwardly-titled RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, PART II (1988) had some great zombie make-ups and brought back Karen and Matthews (playing different roles), but the humor was mostly obvious and juvenile and the characters were irritating. Brian Yuzna's surprisingly good RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD III (1993) was a serious, tragic love story punctuated with black humor and loads of gore (some of which caused ratings problems). The dreadful RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 4: NECROPOLIS (2004) and RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 5: RAVE TO THE GRAVE (2005), which were filmed back-to-back in Eastern Europe and have more in common with brainless action-oriented zombie movies such as RESIDENT EVIL (2002) than their namesake, put the final nail in the coffin for this franchise.

Laurel Entertainment's Richard P. Rubinstein filed an unsuccessful lawsuit to try to prevent the filmmakers from using "Living Dead" in the title. A longer workprint version was unearthed in the early 90s, which ran 24 minutes longer than the theatrical release. In 2011, the two-hour retrospective documentary MORE BRAINS! A RETURN TO THE LIVING DEAD was released and featured interviews with nearly the entire cast and crew.

★★★1/2

Chopper Chicks in Zombietown (1989)

...aka: Chrome Hearts

...aka: Cycle Sluts

Directed by:

Dan Hoskins

Review coming soon.

★★