Black Room, The (1982)

... aka: Himon musta huone (The Black Room of Lust)

... aka: Kammer der Schrecken (Chamber of Secrets)

... aka: La chambre noire

... aka: La habitación negra

Directed by:

Elly Kenner

Norman Thaddeus Vane ([supposed] co-director)

Thirty-something Larry (Jimmy Stathis) is feeling unfulfilled with the boring everyday rituals of life. It's work as a stationary supply salesman during the day, then unruly kids and a compromised sex life at night. Rinse and repeat. Still, it's extremely difficult to view this man as being anything other than completely selfish. His wife, Robin (Clara Perryman), puts in every effort possible to please this guy. She's pretty, pleasant, has a delightfully sarcastic sense of humor, is uncommonly open-minded and anything but frigid. She describes her sexual history and fantasies openly and even giddily, is willing to try new things and does everything she can to keep things active in the bedroom. Problem is, their kids - Mark (Bill Anglemyer) and Jenny (Allisun Kale) - are almost comically insufferable brats. Every time the couple attempt to be intimate they're met with laughing and screaming coming from the other bedroom. Apparently these little buggers never go to sleep! They also constantly whine about things like their dinner and intentionally spill their drinks ("I hate milk!") any time the couple try to show affection toward one another. I'm sure there's some fucked up Freudian thing going on here that I probably don't even want to know about.

Jason's temporary escape from his family drama, mundane job and modest suburban home in Van Nuys is to shell out 200 bucks a month to rent a room in a secluded mansion in the Hollywood Hills. But not just any room, this is a specially designed "fantasy" room with a zillion candles, black velvet drapes covering the walls, a state of the art stereo system, a glowing coffee table (which is actually pretty awesome), mirrors and lots of pillows and comfy bedding. This place is clearly designed for sex and sex only. The mansion owners; siblings Jason (Stephen Knight - THE WITCHING), a photographer, and Bridget (Cassandra Gava), a model, promise privacy and complete discretion. Larry can come and go as he pleases, and bring whoever he wants there. They'll even prepare the room for him in advance by providing wine, fresh flowers, music and such. When Larry happens upon a bored college girl hitchhiker named Lisa (Charlie Young), who wants to have a quick fling and "get wrecked" as those wild 80s kids apparently used to say, Larry is happy to oblige, and now he's got the perfect place to do it!

Interestingly, when Larry returns home from one of his little romps, he tells wife Robin all about them, and all about his "black room," to get her in the mood. Of course, she has no clue he's actually renting this room and doing all of these things in real life and believes it's all just some elaborate fantasy. All she knows is that they've recently had an improved sex life since "the black room" has entered the picture, so she plays along with it. But Robin isn't the only one being left in the dark. Larry has no clue what his new landlords are up to either... but it's anything but normal!

Jason and Bridget use a two-way mirror to spy on, and take photos of, Larry and his various conquests... and that's just the START of it. The seductive Bridget easily sinks her claws into Larry (the first day they meet) and the two are soon using the room for kinky activities that involve pretend bull riding, feathered headdresses and body paint. As for Jason, he has a very rare inherited blood disease called thalassemia (a real disorder), where he doesn't produce enough hemoglobin and red blood cells. That requires regular blood transfusions, which have recently increased to twice weekly.

As opposed to just going to the hospital, he prefers his transfusions to be as fresh as possible, though perhaps not under the most sanitary of conditions. The siblings are actually utilizing the space to procure victims (using drugs and chloroform to subdue them) and many of the ladies Larry brings there end up being the unwilling blood donors. Their bodies are hooked to up an elaborate blood pumping machine and drained completely dry before being buried in coffins up in the hills.

After discovering Larry's dirty little secret, Robin makes a copy of his room key and decides to pay a visit to the mansion. There, she encounters Jason, who doesn't hesitate to tell her exactly what her husband has been up to. In fact, he shows her through the two-way mirror when Larry invites Lisa back, this time accompanied by her boyfriend Terry (Christopher McDonald in one of his first roles), for a little drug-fueled three way action. Initially shocked and saddened, Robin decides to flip the script on her cheating spouse and use the room herself to give Larry a (deserved!) taste of his own medicine. Eventually the couple find themselves handcuffed together in the room and slated to be the next donors, with their kids and babysitter Milly (the underutilized though always welcome Linnea Quigley) also being put in jeopardy.

Though it's been awhile since I last watched this, I've actually been a defender of it for quite some time, even though I've received a little pushback when I included it on a 20 hidden gems of the 80s list. To some, this is a slow, talky, boring film that doesn't really work. To others, it's a fascinating, atmospheric and unique movie that completely stands out for its time. This was the early 80s after all, when major studio, fx-heavy offerings and paint-by-numbers slasher flicks dominated the box office and few films - especially American ones - dared to try to put spins on tired tropes. Finally having a chance to check out the restored Blu-ray release from Vinegar Syndrome has only made me dig my heels in deeper with this one. I'm still gonna defend it. This is a good, and perhaps also somewhat misunderstood, film. It's certainly not perfect, but it's consistently interesting, stylish and provides enough subtext to resonate.

I also appreciate the fact this actually cares enough to make its characters real, flawed people with complexities and insecurities. The sleazy, voyeuristic Jason, who's in the end stage of his life (at least his human one!), has basically entered his idgaf phase and is out to do whatever he pleases. In that regard, he shares some similarities with the disillusioned Larry, who's thrown caution to the wind and put everything at risk because he's dissatisfied following a generic life script. 

Bridget, who's trapped in an unhealthy codependent relationship with her sibling (yep, there are some strong incestuous vibes going on there), ultimately fears being alone, part of the reason she's reluctant to let Larry go, especially with her brother's impending demise on the horizon. Exotic and husky-voiced Filipino-American Gava (best known for her small role as the witch Arnold Schwarzenegger briefly shacks up with in Conan the Barbarian) is highly memorable in this role. She's even given the chance to show off a lot of her professional modeling photos, including the cover of the 1976 Jefferson Starship album Spitfire.

Quite surprisingly given her competition, the most interesting person here is actually Robin, and the little-known Perryman is really great in this part. In most other films this would be a bland side character, but she's actually one of the most progressive mother / housewife characters I've ever seen in an older genre film. This woman is proactive in the extreme! She stands up for herself, she knows her worth, she speaks her mind, she's level-headed yet adventurous, she demands respect for the sacrifices she makes taking care of the house and kids and, while she loves her husband, she's not willing to be a doormat or be disrespected without taking some action herself. Casual everyday conversations, and the occasional arguments, between her and her husband have a really nice naturalistic quality to them and ring true.

According to pretty much everyone who worked on the production, Vane did not actually direct the film proper. Him being being given a "co-director" credit supposedly was part of an agreement he'd made with producer Aaron C. Butler, something that the film's real director, Israeli-born Elly Kenner, knew nothing about during production. Even though no one seems to have very nice things to say about the man (I don't either after reading more about him in Stephen Thrower's Nightmare USA and having already sat through some of his other stuff), he does at least deserve credit for this evocative script. Supposedly it's based on some of his real-life sleazy sexcapades, but I'll leave that up for you to discover on your own if you want all of the sordid details.

The crazy finale manages to somehow both disappoint and impress. In a way, it kind of undermines some of the finer plot points and muddies motivations (or at least makes us rethink them), on the other hand, it's lively and kind of creepy, ending with a flash-edited barrage of black and white shots of resurrecting corpses with color shots of blood pumping. It's definitely... unusual... much like the rest of the film.

Well-shot by future director Robert Harmon (THE HITCHER), this also boasts lots of gliding Steadicam shots courtesy of Jeff Mart, which both add to the dreamy, hazy feel and aid some of the action scenes, notably a great bit where the siblings pursue a half-drained victim (Geanne Frank) who manages to escape their home around the Hollywood hills. The often subdued electronic score is also great. Make-up and special effects from Mark Shostrom, who'd go on to work on a lot of 80s horror favorites like Videodrome, From Beyond, Evil Dead II and the first three Elm Street films, are solid.

After a very limited American theatrical release, Vestron Video issued this on home video in 1985. It was a well-distributed tape like many other Vestron titles and I'm sure audiences back then, probably expecting something more gore-drenched and formulaic, probably didn't know what to make of it. In many ways, I think this fits in better with today's “elevated horror” market than it did back in the 80s as a video rental.

The Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray (released just last year) is a long-overdue upgrade for this previously forgotten film, which had, until then, only been available as old rental tapes or VHS-sourced online copies, all of which were far too dark. This release rectifies that and also includes a ton of extras, including interviews with actors Stathis and Perryman (who now goes by her married name, Claire Corff, and is a voice teacher), Shostrom, Kenner and production assistant Lisa Cronin (also the daughter of executive producer Doug Cronin, who appears as a victim in the first scene). Thrower is also given a long segment where he basically relays information from his extensive previous interview with Vane (who passed away in 2015) for his book. The only real disappointment here is that they weren't able to track down Gava, Knight or Quigley for a chat, especially since all three of them appear to still be active.

★★★

La polizia brancola nel buio (1975)

... aka: Il giardino delle lattughe (The Lettuce Garden)

... aka: Police Are Blundering in the Dark, The

Directed by:

"Helia Colombo" (Elio Palumbo)

When I'm preparing to review a movie I usually put in a tiny bit of research prior to hitting play. Nothing like plot spoilers or anything to that effect, but more just getting a basic idea of the cast, crew, release date, some website scores, etc. And let me tell you, this particular title may as well have been holding up a giant, flashing neon sign reading "I'm going to suck!" The amount of red flags here was absolutely insane. First and foremost, this was completed in 1972, right smack in the middle of the theatrical heyday of giallo in European cinema, yet no one bothered to release it until three years later. So why didn't they capitalize on a hot short-term trend while it was still big? Second, when this was finally released it was re-titled to steer audiences away from thinking it was a horror-mystery and instead more of a police / crime movie. It's not that the two didn't usually overlap anyway, but there are still some major distinctions that can be drawn and this intentionally chose to blur those lines with a marketing misdirection.

I should point out that this is far from a cop / crime / poliziotteschi movie; further away, in fact, than most other gialli. The "police" of the new title don't even factor into the plot in a significant way and only show up during the last few minutes. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. I still have no clue how anyone could think watching a bunch of detectives sitting at desks rehashing the very things we the viewers have already seen for ourselves minutes earlier is anything but boring.

There are many luminaries who worked in this subgenre at the time, both behind and in front of the camera, and on both big and low budget productions. None of them were involved with this. The first time director / writer (more on him later) opted to use a pseudonym and never made another film. The producer, and the attached production company, never made another film. Gialli are renowned for their cinematography and scores above all else, and this was shot by an unknown and features a score from another one-time composer. Were these real people or is everyone listed in the crew using a fake name? Good movies can certainly be made by virtual unknowns but those people would have absolutely zero incentive to hide their identities if they were proud of the work they were putting out.

The backers of these films frequently shelled out at least a little money to attract a name star or two who'd help them sell the film to an international audience. Nope, none of that here! In fact, the four top-billed male lead actors are complete unknowns who never appeared in another film again, at least not using the names they used here. There are a couple of female cast members that did other things, but even these ladies are going to be alien faces to everyone out there who's not a very dedicated exploitation fan. The only person I was somewhat familiar with was Halina Zalewska, who had previously appeared in the Barbara Steele vehicles THE LONG HAIR OF DEATH (1964) and AN ANGEL FOR SATAN (1966).

Jump ahead a decade to the VHS boom. No one wanted to release this. Jump ahead a few more decades to the DVD boom, when there was a big resurgence in the popularity of these kind of films, and still no one wanted to release this. It wouldn't be until 2020 that this finally surfaced on Blu-ray as part of Vinegar Syndrome's "Forgotten Gialli" line.

Taking a glance at viewer scores on film websites is yet another warning. Gialli fans are far more forgiving than I when it comes to their beloved subgenre and if even they are rejecting this, there must be something amiss. Another clue is that gialli fans are quick to remove the horror tag from these movies on various websites and instead assign the (they believe) classier designation of "thriller" to them instead, yet they've let the horror tag remain on this one. It's like they're saying, "OK, this one's so terrible that even WE don't want to claim it!" 

That all gives me bad flashbacks to the IMDb board days when we had a seemingly endless fight on the main boards about whether Jaws should receive a horror genre classification or not. It was there from the start, then it was stripped away, then it was reinstated, then it was removed again... Over and over and over again it went. The mods were annoyed. We had a lengthy debate about it. For those of us who were pro horror tag, our points of debate centered around the movie being called a horror film by its very own director, it being advertised as "the most terrifying motion picture..." and "the movie that scared millions out of the water...", how it was heavily influenced by older monster movies that no one debates are horror films, how it had recurring suspense builds where the entire payoff was delivered in the form of a jump scare and how its chief objective was to try to scare / terrify the audience, which is precisely what it did when it hit theaters in 1975. Also, ya know, that part about it revolving around a giant, monstrous man-eating shark terrorizing an entire community, ripping off limbs, devouring skinny dippers and little kids whole and all that.

Well, long story short, we ended up losing the battle and the mods permanently locked down Jaws as an "action / mystery / thriller" instead, which is how it remains to this very day. The truly interesting part of all of this is that none of the pretentious snobs who thought it was too good to be horror ever once advocated for similar treatment for any of the sequels. Despite containing almost identical content, right down to the same characters, plot points, etc., the follow-ups were apparently mid or bad enough that it was OK to still consider them horror.

Beginning as any good film in this subgenre must begin, an attractive young woman with her breasts exposed gets carved up by some unknown black clad psycho armed with a large pair of scissors. Well, I shouldn't really say completely unknown. As he thrusts his murder weapon of choice forward, his face enters the frame to reveal it's an older gentleman wearing glasses and with unkempt pork chop sideburns, which may have taken the mystery completely out of this mystery in just the first couple of minutes. A newspaper article then informs us that the victim is one of four photo models who've recently disappeared, adding "la polizia brancola nel buio!"

A roster of suspects and victims is then established, and they turn out to be an unsavory, unlikable crew of weirdos, depressives and degenerates. There's Edmundo Parisi, the rich, eccentric, chain-smoking, wheelchair-bound, afro-sporting nudie photographer (!) and his always-miserable-looking wife Eleanor (Zalewska), who's grown angry and bitter at both her isolation in the country and her self-serving husband's arrogance and impotence. They share their secluded villa with Parisi's orphaned teenage niece and understudy, Sarah (Elena Veronese), as well as young porter Alberto and "erotomania"-suffering maid Lucia (Gabriela Giorgi), who both seem to be up to something sketchy. Local physician Dr. Dalla is another frequent presence in the home.

Our hero is the classy Giorgio D'Amato (Joseph Arkim), who is first seen refusing to pick his poor girlfriend up after her car breaks down because he's lying in bed with the naked brunette he's cheating on her with when she calls. The girlfriend, Enrichetta (Margaret Rose Keil), is then forced to spend the night in a creepy old inn, where she gets felt up by the owner's half-wit son after stripping out of her clothes by the fireplace. She then just decides to leave her clothes off and walks around her room, takes off her make-up and eats a ham sandwich while topless before someone sneaks in and stabs her through the throat and tit. When Giorgio shows up the following day, the crime scene has been cleaned up and she's nowhere to be found, which sends him on a quest to discover what happened to her.

Thankfully, Giorgio's an independent journalist by day, so being a snoop is like second nature to him.  After locating his former girlfriend's car and scheduling book, he's able to track her previous known location to the villa where she was doing a modeling assignment for Edmundo. Unfortunately, chasing after tail is his first nature and he seems to forget why he's even there approximately five minutes after arriving. It takes him no time at all to charm his way into the troubled families home as a guest. It then takes him no time at all to charm the panties right off the teenage niece. And leave it to an Italian giallo to expect us to cheer on a "hero" who inadvertently killed his own girlfriend because he was too busy cheating of her and then cheated on her again while in the process of trying to find her. Hell it would have been two more times had the jealous butler not been interrupted when he was with the nympho maid.

Sordid family secrets in the Parisi household are soon revealed. The niece lives in fear of both of her guardians and claims that her uncle is insane, cruel and controlling while her aunt has been using her as a sexual plaything since hubby can no longer perform. Being the kind and nurturing type that he is, Giorgio responds to the poor girl's teary-eyed confession of abuse and rape by immediately stripping off her dress, lying her down in bed and then double checking to make sure her hymen is still intact since it was only her female guardian who'd been raping her and not the male. Once she passes his purity test, he then feels free to take her virginity.

A completely weird plot point is thrown out toward the end when Sarah reveals that her uncle has invented a brand new style of photography that allows him to take images of people's thoughts (?!) He hides his little contraption inside a bronze Buddha looking statue, uses it secretly take photos of everyone and then sits around in a hidden control room all bug eyed, laughing maniacally as he looks over the results. What's even stranger is that this absurd idea is not even exploited in any kind of fun or novel way nor is it even used to uncover the killer. It's just kind of there. For no discernable reason. As for the big killer reveal, it turns out NOT to be the same guy whose head accidentally entered into frame in the opening scene, which makes me realize that either the filmmakers didn't think anyone would notice or simply didn't care if anyone noticed. Ahhh, meticulous filmmaking at its finest!

Going in assuming this was going to be terrible actually resulted in it exceeding my expectations in its own shitty little way. While it's true this is a bad movie, it's no less entertaining than your average film in this subgenre. It's as sleazy as other gialli from the same time and filled with lots of great 70s fashions (crazy suits, miniskirts, wigs and go go boots galore), cars and home décor. It's dumb, yet it's no dumber than, say, THE CASE OF THE BLOODY IRIS or STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER; two films many devotees seem to love. It's also kind of boring at times yet not as boring as some others, like KNIFE OF ICE or NIGHT OF THE SCORPION. And, while it's not very stylish or visually creative, the photography and score aren't noticeably bad either. So hooray for low expectations coming through, and getting me through, once again!

As for the director's true identity, it was later revealed to be Elio Palumbo. Though not a known entity here in the U.S., Palumbo was a very successful platinum-selling artist / composer, record executive and music producer in Europe in the 1970s and 80s.

★1/2