Planet of Dinosaurs (1977)

... aka: Dinossauros: Planet of Dinosaurs
... aka: Planet of the Dinosaurs

Directed by:
James K. Shea

After having problems with a "runaway reactor," a small escape shuttle with nine people on board manages to get away before their main ship - the Odyssey - explodes. Captain Lee Norsythe (Louie Lawless) and co-pilot Nyla (Pamela Bottaro) have no other alternative than to steer toward an unknown planet and are sucked in by the gravitational pull, forcing them to try to land. They manage to safely crash into a lake and, discovering this unknown planet has an atmosphere almost identical to Earth's, all nine exit and swim to shore while their spacecraft sinks. But this strange new world turns out not to be the safe haven they'd hoped for as chief communications officer Cindy (Mary Appleseth) soon finds out when some kind of aquatic beast gobbles her up. The other eight, equipped with some food, basic supplies and four laser guns, then venture further into the planet to find safer, higher ground and see what they may be up against. As you can probably guess from the title, the prehistoric planet is filled with all kinds of large dinosaurs; some docile, some dangerous.

The group, also including engineer Jim (James Whitworth aka Papa Jupiter from The Hills Haye Eyes), officer Mike ("Michael" / Max Thayer), navigator Chuck (Chuck Pennington), nurse Charlotte (Charlotte Speer), Harvey Baylor (Harvey Shain), asshole vice president of Spaceways Incorporated, and his secretary Derna Lee (Derna Wylde) camp out in some swampland for the evening. The next day they spot a harmless brontosaurus, walk on some more and then run across a not-so-harmless tyrannosaurus rex. While the t-rex is busy battling another dinosaur, the gang decide to scale up some rocky cliffs to reach the safety of a plateau where the dinosaurs can't get to them.... at least they think they can't get to them. Harvey manages to anger a centrosaurus by shooting a laser at it and ends up impaled on the beast's horn.

"I am strictly vegetarian but those little moving specks down there sure do look appetizing."

"Those are not specks. They are called actors."

"Actors? Actors?! Ha! Well now... I wouldn't go that far!!"

"Hey there buddy. Why don't you watch what you're sayin'?"

"Awwww, to hell with this! Somebody go get me a napkin."

Realizing they're light years away from Earth and likely never to be rescued, the remaining people come to the apt conclusion that they're going to have to toughen up and work together as a team (there's a brief power struggle between Captain Lee and the more experienced Jim) in order to survive. They set up a blockade to try to keep dinosaurs out, get drunk on fermented berry juice and make spears, a bow and arrow and other useful weapons. A large spider shows up and our heroes sharpen up on their skills hunting down small prey before deciding to take on a certain t-rex dwelling in a nearby cave that's been causing them problems. Several more will die, but will everyone else possibly be able to adjust to the harsh terrain and inhabit this dangerous new world.

This is a very basic, old-fashioned, low-budget 'lost world' film with a time-worn plot, really awful amateur acting and terrible dialogue. Thankfully, it's somewhat likeable anyway, utilizes the rocky desert outdoor shooting locations effectively and benefits most of all from extremely charming stop motion special effects from Stephen Czerkas (also the executive producer), James Aupperle (who wrote the original story) and Douglas Beswick (who'd go on to work on fx for such later genre offerings as THE HOWLING and Ghostbusters). If you happen to be a fan of cosmic synthesizer scores like me, this also has a good one of those from Kelly Lammers and John O'Verlin. It was shot almost entirely outdoors by Henning Schellerup (with some additional camera work from Ronald Victor Garcia), was edited by Maria Lease and features the matte work of Jim Danforth.

Dinosaurs debuted at the Virgin Islands Film Festival in 1977 and the poster brags about it winning a Special Jury Gold Medal Award there. In 1980, it took home a belated Saturn Award for "Best Film Produced for Under 1,000,000."

★★

Horror Recs Challenge 2014: Week 2 (January 8-14)

During Week 2, we had three more people join the challenge right before the deadline of January 15, which boosted the grand total up to 192 films and 32 participants. I managed to squeeze in 7 challenge views this week, and yes I am once again way late on posting this.

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Ahí va el diablo (Here Comes the Devil) (2012; Adrián García Bogliano) [J. 13]

While out and about, married couple Felix (Francisco Barreiro) and Sol (Laura Caro) and their tween kids Sara (Michele Garcia), who's just had her first period as the film opens, and Adolfo (Alan Martinez) stop at a gas station. The kids wander off up a hill near some caves and don't show up again until the following day. They're not quite the same when they do. Now withdrawn, cold, creepy and emotionless, the children begin to retreat into their own world, form a rather unhealthy (and possibly incestuous) attachment to one another and ditch school to make return trips to the cave. A visit to a shrink reveals that the two appear to have suffered from some kind of vague "traumatic sexual experience," which leads Sol on a quest to find out what really happened the night they vanished.

Here Comes the Devil is neither terrible nor great. I was fairly engrossed in the plot - at least for awhile - but the direction (particularly excessive zoom shots) and editing annoyed me at times and the whole film has this really murky, ugly look to it. Other moments, like a sudden burst of metal music in the car when the kids are spazzing out, made me laugh and I don't think that was the intended effect. I did like the loose nature of the plot and always appreciate it when a filmmakers respect our intelligence enough to allow us to fill in the blanks ourselves, which seems to be what the true intent was. However, it also doesn't capture the same haunting quality of several movies it clearly takes inspiration from like Picnic at Hanging Rock and The Vanishing. So while I was reasonably entertained, I was never once scared or even mildly creeped out by what goes down here, and I think that's what ultimately disappointed me. Like many other modern genre films, it's more unpleasant and dreary than anything else.

For what it's worth, there's are lot of nudity (including an opening girl-girl number that has nothing to do with the plot) and a few gory moments (including a nasty bit where the parents violently lash out at the neighborhood weirdo / pervert / possible child molester). The score (aside from that awful metal song) is also pretty good. [Mexico / USA] [Rec'd by Shadowplayed] ★★1/2

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Breed, The (2006; Nicholas Mastandrea) [Viewed Jan. 8]

I was nearly done with a full review for this sucker when my power went out and I ended up losing the whole bloody thing. Arrrrrr arf arf arf! Oh well; this utterly forgettable animal attack flick (executive produced by Wes Craven) doesn't deserve much comment, anyway. It's five twenty-somethings trapped on an island with a pack of vicious wild dogs who've been enhanced by the wonders of science. There are a few exciting scenes, but the writing and dialogue are pretty lame, the two-legged members of the cast really suck and this trots out the highly irritating and faintly offensive black guy stereotype yet again. You know, the third wheel to two white couples, the"comic relief" who dies first and the 100th black dude in a 2000s horror film forced to utter the line "Now that's what I'm talkin' bout!" Favorite moment: Dogs have one-note tough girl Michelle Rodriguez by the ankle on the porch and Oliver Hudson's character raises his bow to shoot it. The camera does this hilariously stupid Matrix spin around him, he shoots the arrow, accidentally hits Rodriguez in the leg and then the camera returns to him and he is just standing there doing this pouty model-esque pose with absolutely no emotion on his face whatsoever. I literally burst out laughing. [Germany / South Africa / USA] [Mikey_Elite, you owe me a beer.] ★★

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Chained (2012; Jennifer Chambers Lynch) [Viewed Jan. 10]

I haven't seen a Jennifer (daughter of David) Lynch movie since the critically panned Boxing Helena (1993), so it was nice to catch up a bit on her work a bit. She's certainly improved some. Like Helena, which featured Julian "Warlock" Sands kidnapping and dismembering the beautiful-but-bitchy Sherilyn Fenn, this also involves human enslavement, debasement and psychological torture. Vincent D'Onofrio, doing a 180 from his "Law & Order" TV detective role, plays a slow-speaking degenerate psycho / rapist who murders a woman, kidnaps her young son and renames the boy Rabbit (Eamon Farren). The boy is chained up in the kitchen, abused, dehumanized, forced to eat leftover scraps and degraded throughout his youth and bears witness to all kinds of horrible, horrible things over the years. Once he reaches young adulthood, "dad" then tries to get "son" in on the action. This is pretty harrowing, well-acted and effective, with lots of extremely sick and unpleasant content (kidnapping, rape, dismemberment, child abuse, incest and necrophilia to name but a few). Unfortunately, the film eventually has nowhere to go so it tacks on a truly terrible 'twist' ending that costs it a few points in my book. [Canada] [Rec'd by Shadowplayed] ★★1/2

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House of Mystery (1961; Vernon Sewell) [Viewed Jan. 11]

A full recap of this vintage haunted house / revenge tale can be found RIGHT HERE. [UK] [Rec'd by emertens] ★★1/2

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Macabre (2009; Kimo Stamboel and Timo Tjahjanto) [Viewed Jan. 11]

On a dark and stormy night, a young married couple about to relocate to Australia, the man's sister and three other male friends are headed to an airport in Jakarta when they stumble across a confused woman standing out in the rain. They end up giving the girl a lift back to her home, are invited inside and discover a little bit too late that the girl and her entire family are ageless psycho cannibals who must consume human flesh in order to stay alive. This is a must-see for lovers of cinematic carnage. After a routine start, it picks up by the midway point and pretty much becomes a fast-paced, extremely bloody, violent and gory free-for-all. There are chainsaw beheadings, dismemberments, throat slashings and eyeballs getting gouged out right and left. By the end, the home it takes place in so hilariously drenched in blood that everyone's slipping around in it. Macabre is competently put together for what it is and features decent performances, with particular kudos going out to the lovely Julie Estelle as the tough, resilient heroine (who takes about as many licks as Marilyn Burns did in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and Shareefa Daanish as the creepy, well-preserved mother. There's next to no plot to get in the way of the outrageous bloodletting, which is going to be a positive for some viewers and a negative for others. Personally, I enjoyed myself for the most part, but it grew a bit tedious and repetitive during the final twenty minutes. Still, if you really groove on the red stuff, don't let me deter you. Check it out. [Indonesia / Singapore] [Rec'd by NoseOfNicko] ★★1/2

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Splinter (2008; Toby Wilkins) [Viewed Jan. 14]

While on vacation, a young newlywed couple (Jill Wagner and Paulo Costanzo) are carjacked by a dangerous thug (Shea Whigham) and his junkie girlfriend (Rachel Kerbs) and everyone ends up stuck inside a gas station while a prickly parasitic organism capable of infecting its victims does its thang. This low-budget monster movie received an awful lot of hype in the genre press a few years back and it really does have some good things going in its favor. Wagner and Whigham are appealing, some of the dialogue is well-written and snappy, it's fast-paced and the special effects (which are clearly inspired by John Carpenter's The Thing), at least what we can make out of them, are good. Unfortunately, even with such promising things going on, the results are completely botched by the abysmal visual presentation. After awhile, my enjoyment level - and nearly my will to even live - was literally shaken right out of me by some of the worst seizure camerawork and flash editing my eyes have ever laid eyes on. Note to future filmmakers: please stop this shit already! [USA] [Grabs DeaconFrost666 and vigorously gives him a few shakes] ★★

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What's the Matter with Helen? (1971; Curtis Harrington) [Viewed Jan. 12]

*PICK OF THE WEEK* After both of their sons are thrown in the slammer for committing murder, glamorous dance instructor Adelle (Debbie Reynolds) and her frumpy, heavily-religious pal Helen (Shelley Winters) save face by fleeing their small town, changing their last names and opening up a dance and drama school in Hollywood. Both ladies are harassed by a mysterious phone caller who threatens to expose their pasts and poor Helen, who's a bit too fixated on both her friend and her religion, suffers from a nervous breakdown, begins having scary hallucinations, tries to wreck her gold-digging buddies chances at snagging a rich Texan (Dennis Weaver) and pretty much just goes bat-shit crazy in that distinctly Shelley Winters kinda way. This well-produced, highly-entertaining slice of Grand Dame Guignol boasts great performances from the leads (plus a memorable supporting turn from Micheál MacLiammóir as a stuffy voice teacher), top notch production values and spot-on art direction and costumes (the latter rightfully receiving an Oscar nomination) which both contribute to a wonderfully realized evocation of 1930s Hollywood. There are a lot of lengthy dance / musical numbers in here so the psychological horror elements get short changed a bit in the process, but this is still hugely fun and extremely entertaining. [USA] [Goody Goody psychotronicbeatnik] ★★★

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JAN. 8-14 STATS:
FTV (First Time Views) - 7
Repeat Views: 0
Total: 16 / 192

Young, High and Dead (2013)

Directed by:
Luke Brady
Jonathan Brady (co-director)
Daniel Fenton (co-director)
Thabo Mhlatshwa (co-director)

Two twenty-something British couples; Katy (Hannah Tointon) and Dan (Matthew Stathers), and Jenny (Louisa Lytton) and Johnny (Philip Barantini), decide to celebrate the latter's engagement by going on a wild weekend camping trip. They meet up with their buddy Gary (Nigel Boyle), who's just come into some money, at a pub and he's brought along a "box of magic mayhem" in the trunk of his car. Just what is a box of magic mayhem? I'm glad you asked. It's a toolbox full of cocaine, speed, hash, magic mushrooms and assorted other drugs. The gang waste no time snorting some coke standing around in a parking lot in broad daylight. From there, they drive on a ways, park their cars and make a long hike through the woods. All of this is cut with the exploits of a psycho killer (David Partridge) who seems to have a particular interest in little girls. He's first seen using pliers to remove teeth and a hacksaw to dismember a body (all of which takes place off-screen). He goes to a hardware store to stock up on supplies and then abducts a  young girl named Sammie (Lara Wollington) from a playground. While he's disposing of another body in the woods, the couples and their buddy come strolling by. Uh oh.

After setting up camp and starting a fire, the gang gets down to business: snorting coke, smoking weed, guzzling beer and wine and each proving what thoroughly obnoxious, self-centered and unlikable people they truly are. And it's at this point I'm wondering to myself: Is this supposed to be some kind of farcical "Just Say No" kind of statement? I mean, the amount of hard drugs these otherwise extremely clean-cut people put away in no short order would be enough to put Keith Richards into a coma. So everyone gets fucked up. They talk, curse a lot, laugh, fight and argue (there's some mild tension because one of the guys has a crush on another's girlfriend) and question why a child's shoe is lying in the middle of the woods before deciding to hit the sack. When they wake up, they all find themselves shackled around the ankle and chained up to trees. Our psycho is strangely nowhere to be found, giving them ample time to try to figure out a way to escape. The rest of the movie features tons of wobbly, dreary handheld camerawork (seemingly shot in the daytime but filtered to look like night) as frantic people run through the woods and up and down roads. Some will die. Some will live. Some may have died or may have lived but the editing and photography were so spastic in spots that I sometimes had a difficult time telling.

Young, High and Dead starts out on the right note with some wonderful animated opening credits. The acting is not bad, especially considering the ultra low-budget. The directors have somehow managed to get people like Tointon, from the fairly well-received chiller The Children (2008) and Barantini, who had a major supporting role in Ned Kelly (2008) alongside Heath Ledger, Naomi Watts and Geoffrey Rush, on board. The score and photography are highly uneven but both are also effectively utilized at times. Though the set-up is about as routine as they come, it's at least serviceable for the slasher fan this is going to appeal most to. On the down side, this thing takes forever and a day to get going. And by forever I mean it takes at least an hour for the young folks to encounter the killer. There's a lot of talk before then, but the dialogue is primarily used as filler and very little of it actually helps to establish or build character. The killer himself is a complete and utter blank. He's given no back story and no motivation whatsoever. That's pretty much par for the course in a slasher flick, but his behavior is so sloppy and inconsistent that it's a miracle he hasn't already been apprehended. He chains the characters to trees and just leaves them there to go mess around with the cars when he had ample opportunity to just kill them all. During another scene, he rapes one of the girls and, afterward, just lets her walk away. A few minutes later he's chasing her around with an axe trying to kill her. A psycho mother character (Su Elliot) is introduced at the very end, but not enough time is set aside to make the character the least bit interesting.

The last twenty or so minutes do pick up in action and excitement. There's some blood and gore (including a dismemberment) and a nice, speedy backwoods verve to the erratic splatter that follows. Unfortunately, these scenes also seem to have been edited with a chainsaw and some of the sound and score cues seem a bit mishandled. I liked bits and pieces of this film, but as a whole it's extremely uneven and a textbook example of an enthusiastic but not-quite-there-yet first-time filmmaker's work. There are lots of the twists, turns, bumps and bruises along the way, but some genuine affection for the genre does at least shine through. It's only onward and (hopefully) upward from here.

On a side note, there are no less than four people credited with directing this film. While Luke Brady is listed as the chief director and writer; Jonathan Brady (who has worked on fx for big budget films like the remake of Total Recall and the zombie flick World War Z), Daniel Fenton and Thabo Mhlatshwa are listed as co-directors.

★★

Human Race, The (2013)

Directed by:
Paul Hough

Having humans hunted down or faced with death for game, sport and / or entertainment has been a popular theme visited by both writers and filmmakers ever since the release of Richard Connell's short story "The Most Dangerous Game" (also published as "The Hounds of Zaroff") in 1924. Both the story and the definitive screen version; 1932's The Most Dangerous Game starring Joel McCrea, Leslie Banks and Fay Wray and co-directed by Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack (who made King Kong the following year), have gone on to influence countless later films and novels. Stephen King's very first novel "The Long Walk" (which predated "Carrie" [released in 1974] by a number of years but was published later) involved teenage boys forced to walk at the speed of 4 miles per hour or else face "buying a ticket" (i.e. being shot). King later revisited a similar theme with the 1982 novel "The Running Man;" about game show contestants in a dystopian future being tracked and killed by hunters paid to eliminate them. Five years later, it was turned into an Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle. Other movies to employ this theme include Death Race 2000 (1975), Battle Royale (2000), Series 7: The Contenders (2001) and the massively popular The Hunger Games (2012), which currently has no less than four sequels in the works. The Human Race joins this line-up of films, but does it manage to distinguish itself?

We first meet a confused, terrified line-up of people standing by a building, who have all been chosen (by whom is made unclear) to participate in a game of chase along a course. The rules are simple. Follow the arrows... or you'll die. Stay on the path... or you'll die. If you are lapped twice... you will die. Do not touch the grass... or you will die. And only one will win. We then begin to meet some of our participants. Battling the same strain of cancer that cost both her mother and sister their lives, young Veronica (Brianna Lauren Jackson) has just learned the good news that her cancer is in remission. We next see Veronica with the rest of the chosen participants, but then something surprising and unexpected happens... her head explodes! You see, Veronica was breaking the grass rule and a powerful jolt of electricity was forced through her body as a result. With our presumed heroine out of the way in the first ten minutes, this establishes the feeling that this is truly anyone's game.

Our main characters are a pair of friends; Justin (Paul McCarthy-Boyington) and Eddie (Eddie McGee), army vets who'd both served during the "War on Terror" in Afghanistan where Eddie had one of his legs blown off (and Justin saved him), plus a meek deaf woman (Trista Robinson) who eventually toughens up and her also-deaf friend (T. Arthur Cottam). As disembodied voices telling the number of remaining players go through everyone's head, some try to stay rational and calm, but other "contestants" freak out and start turning on and / or murdering the others. One man (Fred Coury) begins a mad dash to try to kill off as many people as he can, irregardless of whether they're young and confused (like a teen girl and her kid brother), 8-months pregnant or old and weak (like an old man saddled with a walker). Before miraculously appearing in the game, everyone was on the same city street and saw a flash of bright white light. A priest (B. Anthony Cohen) thinks they're in purgatory, but other forces may be at play.

For a super low-budget independent feature (which began with an online kickstarter campaign), this isn't bad at all and shows plenty of promise. One of the big reasons I prefer watching older films is the photography. Nowadays, all of these digitally-shot genre films have the same exact dark, dreary sheen to them. I'm also consistently disheartened by the liberal use of seizure-cam that filmmakers use as a crutch to cheaply give their movie a sense of excitement and urgency. This movie is no exception to those rules: it looks exactly like every other cheap film coming out these days and the cameraman frequently appears to be suffering from Parkinson's disease. It also suffers from highly uneven acting (though I've seen much, much worse), dialogue and CGI effects (this can now safely hold down the record for the largest number of CGI head explosions) and a few misjudged scenes that simply do not work. However, these guys clearly did the best they could given their budget limitations and deserve high marks for that, as well as coming up with a consistently entertaining (and sometimes genuinely surprising) plot.

This was the feature debut of director Paul Hough, who's the son of director John Hough; a man whose credits included the Hammer vampire movie Twins of Evil (1971), the haunted house classic The Legend of Hell House (1973) and the Disney productions Escape to Witch Mountain (1975) and The Watcher in the Woods (1980). Paul had previously directed music videos, several shorts and the award-winning backyard wrestling documentary The Backyard (2002).

★★1/2