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Showing posts with label santa claus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label santa claus. Show all posts

Saturday, December 24, 2022

To All a Goodnight (1980)

... aka: Feliz Nochebuena (Merry Christmas Eve)
... aka: Goodnight
... aka: Kauhun yö (A Night of Horror)
... aka: Terreur dans la nuit (Terror in the Night)

Directed by:
David Hess

Firstly, Happy Holidays to you all, my friends! I truly hope everyone out there has a wonderful Christmas and I'd like to also take this opportunity to thank everyone for visiting and for your comments, support and feedback over the years. Without that, I don't know if I'd still be here doing what I do, so my sincerest gratitude to you all! I also know I'm seriously backlogged on comments and emails due to my work schedule and some other unforeseeable events, but I plan on remedying that here soon. While I won't be posting tomorrow, I'll be back the following day and this year I'm fortunate enough to have an entire week off. I'll be spending much of that cranking out as many reviews as I can until New Years hits. A few years ago, I set a goal of at least 100 new reviews per year. Right now I'm about ten shy and I'll be damned if this is the year where I don't crack triple digits!

As much as I'd like to keep a seasonal theme going right now, I've gone on so many holiday horror benders in the past that I've pretty much now exhausted all pre-1990 Christmas-themed genre films. That then leaves me the task of going back to some of my earlier, shorter reviews, fleshing them out a bit and making some screen caps for them. Even though I didn't like To All a Goodnight the first time out, it's as good an option for an update as anything else right now. I'd only written a couple of brief paragraphs about it and my initial review was based on the horribly transferred Media VHS release, which was so impenetrably dark and blurry that the night scenes were almost impossible to make out. Since then, this has seen numerous restored DVD and Blu-ray releases from companies like Scorpion and Kino Lorber, plus the Germany outfit Cinestrange Extreme, so it's a title ripe for a reevaluation. At the very least, I should be able to actually see what's going on this time!


Examining the credits, seasoned B movie fans will likely notice this film's sleazy pedigree right away. For starters, it was the directorial debut of Hess, star of such notorious titles as Wes Craven's breakthrough hit The Last House on the Left and HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK, a trashy Italian Last House copycat from Ruggero Deodato. The screenplay was written by Alex Rebar, who had also worked a stint in Italian exploitation and then played the title role in The Incredible Melting Man. Producer Jay Rasumny has a filmography boasting such titles as Young Girls for Sale and Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman. And the whole shebang was "presented" by Sandy Cobe, president of Intercontinental Releasing Corp., distributor of such titles as Alice Goodbody, The Sexplorer and Terror on Tour. While this film is a little sleazy (half of the main females have nude scenes and Deep Throat star Harry Reems even shows up for a pseudonymous cameo as a pilot who gets chopped up by his airplane propeller!), it's certainly nowhere near as sleazy as one may expect given who made it.


At the ritzy Calvin Finishing School for Girls, a Christmas prank gone wrong ("Sorority! Sorority! Sorority!") sends one young lady over a balcony to her death on the concrete below. Two years later, when both the superintendent of the school and most of the other students are away on Christmas break, the remaining six young ladies (who had - amazing coincidence here! - almost all been involved in the prank death) are still up to no good. Hopefully they won't kill anybody else this time! Left in the care of kindly cook / housemother Ruth Jensen ("Katherine Herrington" / Kiva Lawrence), the co-eds secretly arrange for Leia's (Judith Bridges) rich football jock boyfriend T. J. (William Lauer) to fly there on his father's private plane. He'll be bringing along three of his college buddies for what everyone's hoping will be a sex-filled holiday weekend. To keep Ms. Jensen out of their way, the girls lace her drink with enough sleeping pills to keep her knocked out for 10 to 12 hours.









Right from the start, this almost comically plays right into the cliché slasher 'sex = death' trope to the point where it almost seems like some kind of parody. All of the female victims (described by one staff member as being "rich little pompous bitches") are loud, promiscuous, obnoxious, rather rude and seem to only have one thing on their mind, and that thing is getting laid. When the fellas show up, most of them are exactly the same. Conversely, our final girl Nancy (Jennifer Runyon) is a sweet, wholesome, shy, pristine blonde virgin who dresses conservatively in her cute little overalls, loves kittens, drinks milk while the others drink beer and smoke weed, uncomfortably squirms in her seat at the mere mention of sex and speaks in hushed baby tones. The plot also makes sure she's a new transfer to the school and wasn't involved in the deadly prank from two years prior.

This also trots out the creepy / half-witted handyman stock character with Ralph Kramer, the school groundskeeper. Ralph constantly lurks around carrying a set of garden shears, rambles on about evil and the devil and does silly things like barging into a girl's room with his shears to tend to her potted plants (?) "It's our duty to take care of the plants. God put 'em here to give us pleasure" he says in his slow, monotone voice. Cast in this role is "Buck West," who is better known as West Buchanan. Just like Hess and Rebar, the very tall, very blonde actor was an American expatriate who spent a good deal of time in the Italian film industry in the 1970s; in his case mostly as a stuntman and bit part player.








Someone gets their hands on a Santa outfit (which all of the guys arrive wearing) then starts knocking everyone off. Cynthia (Lisa Labowskie) is the unlucky first victim in a hilariously unsubtle scene where she steps outside and the killer walks up to her, casually plants a knife in her chest and then just walks away. This scene and many others show just how poorly planned and directed the film actually is. Though they were on a tight ten day filming schedule, it's clear that they didn't shoot enough footage. As a result, the entire film is filled with tons of medium shots and appears to be missing the multiple camera angles and close-ups needed to generate shock moments in the editing room.

Nevertheless, the killer's still got a lot of killing to do, even if it isn't horribly exciting for us to watch. High society ("Bring me some perfume will you... the Chanel") British tart Trisha (Angela Bath) is surprised in the kitchen with a blade across the throat while her date has his head smashed in with a large rock. Now decked out in a suit of armor (!?), the killer shoots a crossbow arrow through one of the guys' heads and then decapitates budget Debra Winger Samantha (Denise Stearns) with a medieval axe while her dead date's still lying on top of her. And that's just the first night of festivities. There's more to come...








Apparently having done a spectacular job of cleaning up all of the blood and burying all of the bodies the night before, the oblivious survivors; Nancy, Leia, T.J., Melody (Linda Gentile) and the nerdy Alex (Forrest Swanson), awaken the next day with no clue there'd even been a blood-soaked murder spree the evening before. However, the killer picks an inopportune time of relieving poor Ralph of red herring duties and, when his corpse is discovered in the woods nearby, the police come calling.

Since Detective Polansky (Sam Shamshak) and his men can't find any bodies aside from Ralph's, who had a long criminal rap sheet prior to working at the school, he posts a couple of guards at the school to keep watch on things. That gives the killer an opportunity for a second round of carnage, something the cast makes exceptionally easy for them by behaving like complete idiots the entire time. With the home secured, one guy opens the door to look outside and doesn't re-lock it. Another couple go outside for a "walk". As for the posted officers, they're just as bad as the students. One of them just walks right up to Santa outside and gets an axe planted in his skull while the other goes upstairs to take a nap and has sex with one of the students!









While not very well made and almost unbelievably stupid at points, I can at least give this a little credit for including most of the bells and whistles slasher fans expect. There's a decent body count, a wide variety of different kills coming at a pretty speedy clip, plenty of blood courtesy of Mark Shostrom, a bit of nudity and a couple of absurd plot twists thrown out toward the end. It pretty much operates as expected so fans of this type of film shouldn't be too horribly disappointed. Others will find less to enjoy here.

Goodnight is mostly noteworthy as one of only three killer Santa Claus movies to predate the controversial SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT (1984). The other two were the "And All Through the House" segment in Tales from the Crypt (1971) and the same year's CHRISTMAS EVIL (1980). None of these received anywhere near the press or notoriety of Silent Night, which had been blasted by film critics, prompted angry parent's groups to picket theaters that played it and was pulled from circulation early as a result. Goodnight received the least amount of publicity of all of these, probably because it was an extremely limited theatrical release that came and went without anyone noticing.

1/2

Sunday, November 7, 2021

Santa's Fairy Tales: Vol. 1 (1964, 1987)

... aka: Santa's Fairy Tales: Volume One

Directed by:
"Manuel San Fernando" (prolly K. Gordon Murray)

This 1987 VHS release from United American Video Corp., which probably sold a zillion copies around Christmastime in the late 80s, is the perfect embodiment of what scam art distributors would regularly release to hapless consumers back in the day. I can imagine many unsuspecting parents picking this up for their kids, popping it in when they got home and being irate at making their kids suffer through promotional videos for an incredibly lame looking and outdated theme park. Even worse, instead of getting the heartwarming family fun they'd anticipated, their little ones ended up traumatized for life! Containing two 1960s short subjects (Santa's Enchanted Village and Santa's Magic Kingdom) and with a running time falling well short of the claimed 30 minutes, these two mini-films were nothing more than PR for Santa's Village amusement parks. At one time there were a handful of these parks scattered around the U.S. in places like Santa Cruz and Skyforest, California and East Dundee, Illinois. By 1977, after Santa's Village Corporation filed for bankruptcy, some of these parks closed for good while others remained open, though under new ownership and with new names and new attractions. The location in Skyforest (near Lake Arrowhead) became Skypark at Santa's Village, while the Dundee location currently operates at Santa's Village AZoosment Park.








You may be wondering why something like this would even be covered here. Well, let's hear from a few unsatisfied former child customers via the Youtube comments section...

  • "So creepy." - dan Hamakua
  • "My brother and I used to have this on a VHS...we were just talking about it. It always creeped us both out." - Life Unpaged
  • "When I was 4 my mom rented a VHS tape from some church. It had this damn thing on it instead of the Christmas cartoons we were expecting. I dreamed night after night that the skunk thing was in my basement and had me cornered, speaking in its nasally squeaks. Years of trying to make my parents remember the tape followed. Only my brother shared the same fear so I knew it was real in some way. I stumbled upon this 3 days ago and showed the rest of my family. My mom instantly knew what it was, but said she blocked it from her memory "so she didn't have to think about it anymore." - Santa's Ashes
  • "I'm horrified" - ?Mystery Nyan?
  • "Glad to know the title of this. Now my therapist will stop thinking I'm insane." - awfulsails

Both of these shorts were directed by one "Manuel San Fernando," who I'm pretty sure is actually one K. Gordon Murray. Murray was best known for cheaply acquiring the rights to Mexican movies like SANTA CLAUS (1959) and LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD AND THE MONSTERS (1962), dubbing and re-editing them and then releasing them as children's matinee features. Murray also handled more adult-oriented sci-fi and horror films from South of the border, but his family movies are most remembered due to the fact they typically horrified the children who viewed them. However, Murray was also involved in a few of this own productions, which is where these shorts came from. As a 13-year-old teen delinquent once said on The Maury Show, "It's all about the fast money, baby!" and Murray apparently made a fortune doing what he did.








Santa's Enchanted Village opens with recycled footage from the 1959 Santa Claus showing us Santa's magical outer space kingdom. Thanks to Merlin the Magician's discovery of the "5th Dimension," Santa is able to be countless places at once (like at every Santa's Village in the U.S., of course!) and also has many different homes (like every Satan's Village across the U.S.!). His village has all of the necessities, like a reindeer barn, a toy workshop filled with slave laborers (the boys are "elves" and the girls are "pixies"), a "chapel of the good shepherd" (?!) and even a (much too small!) North Pole despite not being like, ya know, anywhere near the North Pole.

Mistaking the pole for ice cream, Stinky the Skunk starts licking it and gets his ass chewed out by Puss 'N Boots. He then goes to his toy workshop job and leaves again, which infuriates his boss, The Ferocious Wolf, who then grumbles incomprehensibly and goes after him. That culminates with the wolf beating the skunk with a tree branch (!) in front of a bunch of children at a puppet theater (!) Santa Claus is shown several times, robotically laughing in an incredibly disturbing manner at the various events. The combination of tuneless accordion music, fog-enshrouded buildings shot at Dutch angles, giant mushrooms (!) everywhere and nightmarish-looking characters really does turn this into a creepy experience.








Next up is Santa's Magic Kingdom, which starts with Santa giving us a tour of his village as he takes his sleigh and reindeer hostages into the dark recesses of an ice cave, and then cuts to Merlin the Magician taking over the tour cause he can do it quicker using the - you guessed it! - "5th Dimension." The horrifying sights that follow include a 6-foot-rabbit riding a train that looks about a 10 mph gust of wind away from falling right off the tracks, manic depressive whistles and a slumped-over, dead-eyed jack-in-the-box. We also gets to see the Easter Bunny's home, a post office, a gingerbread house and a toy factory, all accompanied by stolen horror movie music (?) Unlike the previous short, this one attempts something of a plot after awhile.








Puss 'N Boots, chief of the theme park security, has received reports of an ogre who's about to attack the village. As a princess rushes off to warn Santa, Puss encounters the ogre, who looks less like an ogre and more like a plaster dinosaur head. The "ogre" then threatens "Where are you Santa Claus? I am looking for you! And when I find you, I am going to destroy you and your villages!" Merlin then must do battle with the "ogre" which takes place entirely off-screen and then we're treated to the cast singing along to some operatic vocal that never once matches their lip movements. Eegads. It's very rare that I watch something that has no redeeming qualities whatsoever but I'm really struggling here!








The same company also released "Santa's Fairy Tales: Volume Two," which features two more ancient shorts again "presented by" Jeffrey C. Hogue. The first is Murray's Santa Claus and His Helpers, which was yet another Santa's Village promo video featuring the same characters and shot at the same time. It, and the other two, were edited by future hardcore porno director Jack Remy. The other is The Magic Snowman, a re-title of the 1944 German short Der Schneemann (aka Christmas in July), which is at least a proper piece of animation.

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