Ratings Key

= Excellent. The best the genre has to offer.
1/2 = Very Good. Perhaps not "perfect," but undoubtedly a must-see.
★★★ = Good. Accomplishes what it sets out to do and does it well.
★★1/2 = Fair. Clearly flawed and nothing spectacular, but competently made. OK entertainment.
★★ = Mediocre. Either highly uneven or by-the-numbers and uninspired.
1/2 = Bad. Very little to recommend.
= Very Bad. An absolute chore to sit through.
NO STARS! = Abysmal. Unwatchable dreck that isn't even bad-movie amusing.
SBIG = So Bad It's Good. Technically awful movies with massive entertainment value.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Unseen, The (1981)

Directed by:
Peter Foleg

Three women from a television station show up in a small California town to cover a parade and can't find a hotel vacancy. A weird museum curator (Sydney Lassick, in one of his rare lead roles) offers up his secluded home to the girls, who agree. I wouldn't! You should see the way he acts! They arrive and meet Lassick's manic-depressive wife (Lelia Goldoni), who's actually his sister (!?), then two leave so the third can take a nude bath and get pulled down into the cellar by someone... or something. When the camerawoman returns, she's killed too, so Jennifer the reporter (Barbara Bach) finds herself facing off against "The Unseen" all by herself. Turns out "The Unseen" is actually "Junior," (Stephen Furst), the deformed, fat, filthy, full-grown "baby" son in a diaper (the result of incest, naturally) they keep locked up in the basement. The director doesn't really take the perverted story aspects far enough to make this good sick fun. The result is an unscary, boring, slow and generally stupid movie that's still somewhat watchable. Craig Reardon did the slight make-up and a real chicken is beheaded.


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