Goodbye Gemini (1970)

... aka: Ask Agamemnon
... aka: Extraños gemelos (Strange Twins)
... aka: Mon frère... mon assassin (My Brother... My Killer)
... aka: Twinsanity

Directed by:
Alan Gibson

Blonde-haired, blue-eyed twins Jacki (Judy Geeson) and Julian (Martin Potter) have more than just clean-cut good looks in common. They're both also extremely immature, childish, naive, spoiled and really need to grow up. They're also so clingy, affectionate and dependent on one another they turn suspicious eyes wherever they go because everyone assumes they're lovers. When we first meet the duo, they're on their way to London via bus to take up residence in a posh new flat. We're never given insight into how they got their money, where they come from, what kind of upbringing they had or how their life was before this London trip, but we can assume something wasn't quite right. After all, one of the first things they do upon arrival is trip their grumpy landlady down a long flight of stairs with a strategically-placed teddy bear! Of the two twins, it's Jacki who seems to want to live a normal life. However, they soon discover "normal" is anything but when they begin hobnobbing with some rather unsavory types.

Unemployed bisexual hustler Clive (Alexis Kanner) becomes their first acquaintance after he actively seeks them out at a club and, along with his more level-headed female friend Denise (Marian Diamond), the quartet begin indulging in drink, drugs, parties and sex. But the fun times don't last. For starters, Julian can't seem to move past his unhealthy obsession with his sister. In fact, his unrequited sexual desires for her are driving him a bit mad and he can't help but to paw at her, kiss her and spy on her changing clothes. He also becomes extremely jealous when other men show any interest in his sibling. Clive's been showing interest but he has bigger fish to fry: He's gambled away all his money and is indebted to a violent goon (Mike Pratt). In order to get some quick cash he decides to ply his new pal with booze and drugs and then lure him to a hotel room where he takes photos of him having sex with a pair of drag queens (!!) Blackmail, murder and a police investigation follow.

This is an unsuccessful and pointless but sometimes interesting little film that's more entertaining as a time capsule look at Swingin' London than it is a drama or a thriller. Some part of me seriously doubts sexual mores were so loose even in the underground during the early 70s (observers of the brother's incestuous behavior behave like it's no big deal and every guy seems to be into what one character hilariously refers to as "the queer boy circus"), but it's a unique angle to take nonetheless. Unfortunately, the director drops the ball after the first half of hedonistic weirdness when he settles for a routine 'killer on the lam' story line, resulting in a film that is neither compelling as a drama nor thrilling as a thriller. As a huge genre fan I think it says a lot about the potency of the 'thrilling' scenes that I found myself more entertained watching a transvestite do a strip routine at a bar than I was whether "whoever did it" will get away with murder or not.

Director Gibson isn't very well-regarded in horror circles and movies like this and his two Hammer Dracula films (which are arguably the two worst in the entire series) show why. His direction here is flavorless, completely devoid of an individual signature style and he shows no attention whatsoever to visuals or detail. I guess if he does anything right it's getting solid work from his lead actors, which actually is a pretty big accomplishment considering the script they had to work with. The known names in the supporting cast - like Michael Redgrave and Freddie Jones - are given nothing of interest to do. This is still somewhat notable for containing the first score by Christopher Gunning, who'd go on to win multiple BAFTA Awards, and also has a pretty good theme song in "Tell the World We're Not In" by The Peddlers.

Shot under the title Ask Agamemnon (also the title of the novel by Jenni Hall it was [loosely] based upon), this was released theatrically by Cinerama Releasing both in the UK and the US in 1970. It received a VHS release here in America in 1988 on the Prism label under the title Twinsanity, which boasted some rather misleading cover art. In 2010, Scorpion Releasing put out a DVD, which contains a commentary track from producer Peter Snell and Geeson.

★★

Doomwatch (1972)

... aka: Island of the Ghouls

Directed by:
Peter Sasdy

Environmental issues have been prevalent in the horror genre ever since the 1950s, where nuclear waste and pollutants of all kinds have been responsible for creating giant monsters and mutants. This one is based on the Kit Pedler and Gerry Davis created television series, which was popular enough on BBC to last for three seasons (1970 to 1972) and spawn this feature-length film (Clive Exton is credited with the final screenplay). A new government agency called "Doomwatch" has been formed to combat a worldwide pollution problem. To find out what effects lead additives from a recent oil spill and the detergents used to clean up said oil spill are having on sea life, Dr. Del Shaw (Ian Bannen) travels to Balfe; a small, sparsely-populated island worst hit by tanker spill. Sent to retrieve samples of seaweed, gastropods, bivalves, crustacean and possibly gulls for study, Shaw plans on just staying long enough to gather samples and then be on his way. Upon arrival, he notices the villagers living on the close knit island are an odd bunch and less than hospitable. He's constantly questioned about how long he'll be staying and what he's doing there, he has a difficult time finding accommodations and notices nearly everyone acts secretive or even downright hostile, including the local policeman and priest. He's finally able to get a room from Miss Johnson (Constance Chapman) and there meets fellow foreigner Victoria Brown (Judy Geeson), a school teacher who seems to be turning a blind eye to whatever is going on there.

The next day, Del ventures out to gather specimens on the beach but thanks to more peculiar behavior from the villagers - and the fact someone seem to be following him everywhere he goes with a shotgun - he decides to stay a few extra days to see if he can figure out just what is going on. While taking a stroll through the woods, he catches two dogs digging at the dirt. After getting attacked by one of them, he discovers the body of a young child in a shallow grave. When he reports it to the police and returns there, the body has been moved. One of the villagers destroys his camera and he's attacked by something hideously disfigured in the barn. Eventually, Victoria agrees to help him under the condition that nothing bad happens to the islanders. She confides in him that people are starting to refuse to leave their homes, the men suffer from violent outbursts and people have been disappearing. Many townspeople also seem to be changing physically, with overhanging brows, widening of the nose and lips and worse. While catching some fish, Dr. Shaw notices a prohibited area of the island called Castle Rock, which used to be a military dumping ground for "mild" radioactive waste.

Shaw returns to London to piece together the clues with a few colleagues. He gets underwater photographs of what the military actually had dumped there... along with hundreds of mysterious canisters the military didn't dump there. Turns out the unaccounted for drums (dumped there illegally) are full of a growth hormone which stimulates the pituitary gland and, in large enough doses, can causes mutation. The fish in the nearby waters have been contaminated and thus some of the folks living on Balfe have also been contaminated, resulting in widespread epidemic of the disfiguring disease acromegaly (which 40s horror star Rondo Hatton suffered from). The islanders, who are ashamed of their past history of inbreeding and immorality and want little to nothing to do with progress, aren't all that willing to cooperate either.

Going into this expecting a mutant horror flick is absolutely the wrong way to go, though the film has been advertised as such over the years. It's non-exploitative for the most part, quite dialogue-heavy and has only a handful of shock sequences. In short, it's not very exciting to watch in an action-oriented sense. However, it is intelligently written and a well thought out film, with a more credible science component than usual. It accurately disassembles the pecking order of illegal chemical dumping, with the chemical company who produced the toxic chemical subcontracting the actual dumping work to a disreputable firm and then playing stupid so that they're not actually responsible for any of it. How all of this goes down is approached from a multitude of perspectives and we see how different groups; the science community, the business community, the religious community (represented by Joseph O'Conor's vicar who believes the epidemic is punishment from God) and the military (George Sanders has a few brief scenes as an admiral) react. And much of the reaction is sadly quite accurate to how something like this would pan out in real life.

The film made its biggest splash in America re-titled Island of ther Ghouls and playing on "The Ghoul Show" triple feature along with GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE (1972) and GARDEN OF THE DEAD (1972). Paul and Simon Oates (who apparently did not like this film adaptation) reprise their roles from the BBC series and - along with Jean Trend - comprise the primary Doomwatch team. The solid supporting cast also includes Percy Herbert, Shelagh Fraser (doing a very nice job as an islander with an infected husband), Geoffrey Keen, Norman Bird, James Cosmo and George Woodbridge.

★★1/2

Berserk! (1967)

...aka: Circus of Blood

...aka: Circus of Terror

Directed by:

Jim O'Connolly

At the Great Rivers Circus, aerialist Gaspar the Great's high wire act meets with tragedy when his tight rope snaps and somehow manages to wrap around his neck like a noose as he's falling; hanging him. Accident? The authorities seem to think so, but cold-blooded co-owner Monica Rivers (Joan Crawford) doesn't seem to care how he was killed. She doesn't hide the fact she thinks her performers are all expendable. She's all-business, all the time, and seems delighted that the publicity surrounding the death might increase box office sales. Hey, it's been a slow year! And just like in the 1960 gem CIRCUS OF HORRORS, that's just what happens; an occasional freak accident seems to bring the audience in in droves. Monica's frustrated business partner/part time lover Albert Dorando (Michael Gough) agrees that "People have a morbid curiosity about death" but is sick of dealing with Monica and demands she buy him out, forcing Ms. Rivers to use her feminine wiles to convince him to stay on for a bit longer ("I just may let you tuck me in tonight.") For starters, this is Joan Crawford and Michael Gough we're talking about and they're two of the effortlessly campiest people the genre has ever seen. Watching these two interact during the first few scenes is what I like to call camp nirvana. Actually it's almost too camp for this reviewer to handle. Well, almost. In any case, great stuff.

Arriving on the scene soon after the death of Gaspar is handsome, cocky performer Frank (Ty Hardin), who goes by the name "The Magnificent Hawkins." His act involves the dreaded "walk of death" where he walks a tightrope over a bed of razor-sharp bayonets while wearing a hood over his head. Both impressed by his act and by his physique, Monica decides to hire Frank as a replacement. Soon the two become lovers, and Frank starts to get a little greedy. He not only wants a big caravan with his name on it but also split ownership of the circus. Meanwhile, Albert is killed when someone hammers a spike through his head. This brings not only a Scotland Yard detective (played by Robert Hardy) to investigate, but also a cloud of suspicion that hangs over everyone at the circus. Monica and Frank are both chief suspects, but there's also Monica's faithful dwarf assistant Bruno (George Claydon), a strongman, a skeleton man, a bearded lady, a fortune teller and others who may have reason to be committing these murders. It's definitely a bad time for Monica's cherubic teen daughter Angela (Judy Geeson) to get kicked out of private school and return to the circus looking for work. And hard-drinking, tart-tongued tramp Matilda (Diana Dors) doesn't help matters either. She's convinced Monica is the killer and doesn't hesitate to let the world know how she's feeling. Even though she's married to magician Lazlo (Philip Madoc), Matilda tries to seduce Frank with a bottle of cheap booze in his trailer and is later involved in a memorable catfight with Marianne Stone. There's no shortage of suspects, but the eventual resolution is as illogical as it is unintentionally hilarious with the psycho, after finally being discovered, shrieking "Kill! Kill! Kill!" and darting out into the rain where he/she is immediately struck down by lightning!

In addition to the murders (including someone getting split in half with a giant electric saw blade), we get to see several long circus acts that really don't have anything to do with the plot, but do add to the overall atmosphere. Some viewers may find these tedious to sit through, but I liked watching most of them. There's a lion tamers act, a bunch of horses doing laps around the ring act and a knife thrower's act. There's also a great act involving 5-ton "Jody the Wonder Elephant," who walks over six women lying on the ground. My favorite act though is Phyllis Allen and Her Intelligent Poodles; which is basically a bunch of dogs doing a conga line, jumping through hoops, doing flips, jumping rope, dancing and walking the tight rope. It's a lot of fun, and the circus atmosphere itself is colorful and well presented in this film. There's even a musical number where four of the "freaks" do a song-dance called "It Might Be Me" while looking directly at the camera!

But when all is said and done, this entire film is pretty much dominated by that blistering force of nature known as Joan Crawford. As if being cast in a role obviously meant for someone in their mid to late 30s wasn't amusing enough, the 62-year-old gets to run around for much of the time in tights, panties and a ringmaster's coat (an outfit she admittedly still looks pretty good in). Flatteringly lit at all times (notice the shadows around her neck), with her trademark dark penciled-in eyebrows and her hair pulled back very tightly (is this what they did before face-lifts?) and complemented by some weird orange bun hair piece, she carries on entertainingly throughout. Much of her lines are either dripping with sexual innuendo as if written for a desirable young sexpot to recite or are extremely bitchy ("Look. Don't waste my time with these broken down has-beens. Some of them are as old as my elephants and twice as wrinkled!"). While you might squirm a little watching her awkward romantic scenes with her hunky male co-star (who was half her age when filming), it's still a blast to watch and is quintessential Joan in her twilight years the way we horror fans know her and love her.

Score: 6.5 out of 10

Vela para el diablo, Una (1973)

...aka: Candle For the Devil, A

...aka: It Happened at Nightmare Inn

...aka: Nightmare Hotel

...aka: Nightmare Inn

Directed by:

Eugenio Martín

British photographer Laura Barkley (Judy Geeson) arrives in a small Spanish village for a museum assignment and plans to meet her sister May (Loreta Tovar) at a small local inn. However, her sister is nowhere to be found and the stuffy, religious, outwardly virtuous siblings who run the establishment, Marta (Aurora Bautista) and Veronica (Esperanza Roy), claim she has already left. Skeptical of their story, Laura stays in town to investigate and discovers that the hoteliers are actually psychopathic killers who are disgusted by the lack of morals in today’s youth... particularly the scantily-clad females. Their targets include a sexpot who wears daisy dukes and micro-minis and a young mother who they think conceived her child out of wedlock. The dismembered bodies of victims are kept in a wine vat in the cellar.

This slightly above-average psycho-thriller looks pretty good, has an interesting storyline (with sociopolitical elements) and enough effective grisly moments to make it worth checking out. Director / writer Eugenio Martín (who is best known for the great Horror Express) and co-writer Antonio Fos should also be given some credit for their mature characterizations. Most interestingly, of course, are the psycho-sisters; passive and repressed Veronica dominated by the stern, humorless, hypocritical and occasionally frenzied Marta. Roy and (especially) Bautista make the best of their wicked women. However, the film comes to an irritating, crashing halt with an anti-climactic non-ending. The cast includes such familiar Spanish genre actors as "Vic Winner" (Victor Alcázar), Lone Felming, Blanca Estrada, "Julia Montserrat" (Montserrat Julió), Fernando Hilbeck and Charlie Pineiro.

The version I saw (released from Brentwood) is probably the version that played on TV since the opening murder scene, an entire subplot, some of the violence and all of the nudity have been removed. Apparently as much as 25 minutes (!!!) are missing from this 67-minute cut. Despite that (and the poor quality of the disc), this one somehow remains enjoyable. I'd certainly love to see someone put out an uncut, remastered version one day. The original title translates to A Candle for the Devil (also the British VHS release under the Midnight Video label that is said to be uncut) and it’s also on tape as Nightmare Hotel.

Amazingly, this not-so-well-known film was remade nearly scene-for-scene in Turkey as the hilariously bad BRUTAL STORM (1985).

★★1/2