Die! Die! My Darling! (1965)

...aka: Fanatic

Directed by:

Silvio Narizzano

A creepy, campy and extremely entertaining good time from Hammer! Scandal queen Tallulah Bankhead rips into the role of Mrs. Trefoile, ultimate mother-in-law from hell! She's a snarling, hypocritical religious fanatic who invites her dead son's ex-girlfriend Patricia (Stefanie Powers) to her secluded country home, then imprisons her in a room with steel bars over the windows. She thinks Patricia is a sinner because she wears red make-up and clothes ("The devil's color!") and decides to "cleanse her soul" through torture with scissors, a gun, broken glass, starvation and, worst of all, droning daily bible sermons. She also has an altar down in the basement where she plots to sacrifice Patricia so her soul will be reunited with her dead sons! A maid (Yootha Joyce) and two handymen (Peter Vaughan and "introducing" Donald Sutherland in an early role as the retarded Joe) assist her. Meanwhile, Patricia's fiancé Alan (Maurice Kaufmann) searches around for her.

Richard Matheson's script (based on Anne Blaisdell's book "Nightmare") keeps things credible, fun and engrossing the entire time. Bankhead, in her final starring role, is pretty horrifying ("Filth! Corrupter!") and the supporting cast (especially Joyce) is excellent, making this one of the best of the Hammer psychological horror films.

★★★

Diary of a Madman (1963)

Directed by:

Reginald Le Borg

Based on a Guy de Maupassant story, this one opens with a direct quote from the source, then cuts to a funeral on an obvious set and a will reading for Simon Cordier (Vincent Price), who narrates his own story from his diary. He's a 19th-Century magistrate who becomes possessed by "The Horla" (voiced by Joseph Ruskin), an invisible evil spirit who talks to him, laughs, moves furniture around and compels him to kill. When his eyes glow blue, he's turned into a zombie-like killer who can't remember what he's done the next day. This patently silly Price vehicle has a little too much ranting, raving and extremely corny dialogue, many in the supporting cast are stiff and lifeless, the whole thing is very set bound and stagy and the period detail is minimal and unconvincing. Still, it is somewhat unique among the Price cannon and offers up lots of entertainment for horror fans. Aside from Price's always-fun camp theatrics, the inventive and colorful photography (the print reviewed from Wood Knapp - even in the EP mode VHS version - is in excellent condition) and Nancy Kovack's bright presence in a supporting role as a sexy gold digger are other pluses. Also with Chris Warfield, Elaine Devry, Ian Wolfe, Nelson Olmsted, Harvey Stephens and Don Brodie.

★★

Encadenada, La (1975)

...aka: Diario de una asesina, El

...aka: Diary of a Murderess

...aka: Diary of an Erotic Mistress

...aka: Diary of an Erotic Murderess

...aka: Perversione

Directed by:

Manuel Mur Oti

Wealthy Alexander (Richard Conte) hires new governess Gina (Marisa Mell) to care for his unhinged son Mark (Juan Ribó), who has his own padded cell in the family mansion! Alexander quickly falls in love with the beautiful Gina, little realizing she has some psychological issues of her own. Gina starts an affair with Mark, and gets her hands on Alexander's deceased former wife's diary, which is full of pointers on how to murder and get away with it... Also with Anthony Steffen (real name: Antonio De Teffè) and Lili Muráti.

Score: Haven't seen it.

Dead Space (1991) [filmed in 1990]

Directed by:

Fred Gallo

Terrible, nearly line-for-line / scene-for-scene remake of Forbidden World (1982), itself a pretty garden variety Alien wannabe. Basically a cheap waste of time with lousy performances, painfully bad dialogue and recycled Roger Corman factory space effects we've seen used time and time again (some from 1980's Battle Beyond the Stars). I really can't think of anything nice to say about it so we'll make this one short and sweet. Our gruff renegade hero (Marc Singer) boards a spaceship full of male and female scientists. Naturally, a botched experiment creates a fast-growing, bloodthirsty mutant monster that kills people. A sex dream (with Subspecies star Laura Tate) provides the token topless scene and Singer's stupid wisecracking robot sidekick "Tinpan" and the lame monster creation compete for the most pitiful aspects of this boring mess. It's only 70 minutes long, was written by Catherine Cyran (SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE 3) and co-stars Bryan Cranston (whose presence is perhaps the only reason anyone would want to check this out nowadays) and Judith Chapman (SCALPEL). Corman was the executive producer. By the way, the cool poster I'm using here is from the French VHS release. We got a boring poster and video box here in America.

★

Dark Shadows (1990)

Directed by:

Dan Curtis

Dan Curtis created the original, videotaped TV horror soap opera Dark Shadows, which was so popular it lasted from 1966 to 1971 and spawned two theatrical releases: HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS (1970; which was a hit) and NIGHT OF DARK SHADOWS (1971; which was heavily butchered and re-cut before release and was not a hit). I loathe soap operas and will never understand the appeal of that boring, dull, badly-acted and extremely cheap-looking series. Twenty years after that original series faded into oblivion (where it can stay) came a night-time made-for-TV remodeling of the same theme and characters, but with much better acting, photography and writing. It started with an interesting, handsomely-produced pilot episode, but unfortunately, the new and improved Dark Shadows did not catch on at all. I remember when I was a kid I was just starting to get into it before it was suddenly pulled off the air. The excellent regular season cast included a perfectly cast Ben Cross as vampire Barnabas Collins, as well as Barbara Steele (making a rare 90s appearance) as Dr. Julia Hoffman, a doctor trying to find a cure for vampirism, Jean Simmons, Joanna Going, Roy Thinnes, Lysette Anthony, Stefan Gierasch, Julianna McCarthy, Hope North, Ely Pouget and Michael T. Weiss.

Curtis and Steele had a long-running working relationship which previously resulted in the Emmy winning, made-for-TV mini-series THE WINDS OF WAR (1983) and its sequel WAR AND REMEMBRANCE (1988), which were the most expensive TV movies ever made. MPI released every episode of both the original and newer series to home video. Steele also produced the TV presentation DARK SHADOWS: 30TH ANNIVERSARY TRIBUTE (1996), which is also on video.

Score: n/a

Shark: Rosso nell'oceano (1984)

... aka: Apocalypse dans l'ocean rouge

... aka: Devil Fish

... aka: Devouring Waves

... aka: Jaws Attack 2

... aka: Monster Shark

... aka: Red Ocean

Directed by:

Lamberto Bava

A "40 foot long" giant mutant squid with five tentacles, razor fangs and the ability to reproduce its own cells terrorizes a small Florida town. Various marine biologists, doctors and cops plot to kill it. Meanwhile, a human monster named Miller (Paul Branco) offs people who discover the "Devilfish" is a man made creation used for the greedy benefit of some evil doctors. Miller attacks a lovely researcher named Florinda (Cinzia de Ponti), strangles her, drowns her in the bathtub, tosses in a hairdryer, then rips the panties off her dead body! Lots of false alarms are set when our heroes Peter (Michael Sopkiw, from MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY), Stella (Valentine Monnier), Janet (Darla N. Wagner) and Bob (Lawrence Morgant) set out on a high tech (by 1984 standards, anyway) "Seaquarium" boat to catch the killer menace, who is frequently seen in close up or hilariously obvious speeded-up film to seem more menacing. And only fire can destroy it, which leads to a flamethrower-armed posse vs. aquatic beast finale.

Pretty bad and also pretty tame (other than a legless corpse and a decapitation) but faintly watchable import benefits from an excellent "Antony Barrymore" (Fabio Frizzi) score and a decent monster. It's currently smack in the middle of the IMDb Bottom 100 list, but really doesn't deserve it and is only there because it was featured on an episode of "Mystery Science Theater 300." Luigi Cozzi and Sergio Martino wrote the original story. The cast includes Gianni Garko as the sheriff, William Berger as the professor and Dagmar Lassander.

★1/2

Drive-In Massacre (1976)

Directed by:

Stu Segall

Review coming soon.

Score: 1.5 out of 10