Ratings Key

= Excellent. The best the genre has to offer.
1/2 = Very Good. Perhaps not "perfect," but undoubtedly a must-see.
★★★ = Good. Accomplishes what it sets out to do and does it well.
★★1/2 = Fair. Clearly flawed and nothing spectacular, but competently made. OK entertainment.
★★ = Mediocre. Either highly uneven or by-the-numbers and uninspired.
1/2 = Bad. Very little to recommend.
= Very Bad. An absolute chore to sit through.
NO STARS! = Abysmal. Unwatchable dreck that isn't even bad-movie amusing.
SBIG = So Bad It's Good. Technically awful movies with massive entertainment value.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Deepening, The (2006)

Directed by:
Ted Alderman
Jim O'Rear

New York City firefighter Ted (Ted Alderman) is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder because of the events of 9/11. In an attempt to pull himself back together, he relocates to an uneventful small town and gets a new job at another fire department. Because Ted is quiet and a little odd, most of his co-workers make fun of him. The only one who doesn't is Jim (Jim O'Rear), a man whose entire world seems to revolve around getting laid. Jim hooks Ted up on a blind date with a girl who ends up dead at the end of the evening. No one is actually charged with the crime (though Ted is found covered in her blood!), more murders soon follow and a couple of police detectives investigate. Jim becomes the prime suspect after one of his lovers is killed and sets out to prove his innocence. Cheap gore, T&A and a costumed killer all wrapped up in a badly plotted mystery movie format? Yep. This one actually does manage to check all of the expected slasher flick boxes. I'll give it that much credit. A few guest stars - Gunnar Hansen as a police psychiatrist and Debbie Rochon as Jim's ex-girlfriend - show up in small roles, too. Aside from that, this has absolutely nothing of value to offer. The story is lame, the acting is bad, the lead character is thoroughly unlikable, the identity of the killer is painfully predictable and the last 30 minutes are a disaster. I know the budget was very low, but there is really no excuse for the photography to be as bad as it is here. Many of the shots are actually blurry and the lighting is consistently terrible.

... And holy vanity production! Co-director / writer / producer O'Rear is hilariously miscast as the town stud, who has numerous large-breasted woman wanting to jump his bones the minute they lay eyes on him. Now I might understand this if Jim were tall, dark and handsome, but he's short, bald and average-looking, so seeing all these women literally throwing themselves at him throughout the movie is pretty laughable. Then again, I suppose if given the chance most guys would gladly script themselves a role where they spend half their screen time fondling breasts.

Speaking of breasts, no less than six different actresses show off the goods here. One (Maria Kil) even goes beyond the call of duty by going full frontal. Just thought you might want a heads up in case you plan on fast-forwarding to the nudity. Rochon doesn't even appear until the second half in case you want to skip directly to her sex scene.


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