Zombie Jamboree (1993)

... aka: Zombie Jamboree '93

Directed by:
John A. Russo

Zombie Jamboree '93 was a three day event celebrating the 25th Anniversary of the landmark film NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968). It took place at the Pittsburgh Expo Mart, which is in the same mall where Romero filmed DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978), and attracted not only many celebrity guests but also thousands of fans from around the world. John A. Russo (co-writer of Night) decided to make a documentary about it using videotaped footage and also narrates the proceedings, using the opportunity to plug nearly all of his side projects since Night. Things begin with a brief history of The Latent Image Inc., the Pittsburgh area company that George A. Romero, Russo and a handful of others found in the mid-1960s. We get to see what they were up to before Night, which involved shooting commercials for such things as Iron City Beer, the Guinness Book of World Records, the Magic Lantern (a silly contraption used to help light charcoal), Calgon detergent (an amusing take-off on Fantastic Voyage) and even a political ad for George McGovern. Money made from some of those was used to purchase the camera and film equipment eventually used to film Night and the fickleness of some of their commercial clients is what pushed Romero and Russo to decide to make their own horror film in the first place (at least according to Mr. Russo).

Money came from Romero and Russo's own pockets, as well as from friends, relatives and finance companies. Still, there was so little money to work with that most of the people involved had to wear more than one hat. The Zombie Jamboree celebration was put together by Russo's own company Imagine, Inc. for 125 thousand dollars and was well promoted. It had many draws. Aside from celebrities, there were panel discussions, dealer's rooms, movie props, dozens of film screenings, a mall tour, a riverboat cruise, zombie makeup demonstrations from the Joe Blasco Makeup School, zombie contests, Scream Queen contests and a red carpet big screen showing of Night. A museum featured the original Batmobile (Adam West also makes an appearance), the Munsters Dragula car, props monsters from Predator, Aliens and Pumpkinhead and even a police uniform from the Russo-directed MIDNIGHT (1981), followed by that film's trailer. Kane Hodder, fresh from filming the awful Jason Goes to Hell (1993) was there. So was David ("Darth Vader") Prowse, Gunnar ("Leatherface") Hansen, former Chiller Theatre host Bill "Chilly Billy" Cardille, his daughter Lori Cardille (who starred in Romero's DAY OF THE DEAD), Conrad Brooks and many more.

The master of ceremonies, Romero himself, flew in from Florida specifically for the event. According to Russo, he even spent eight straight hours with no break signing autographs as not to disappoint any of his fans. He's also involved in a panel discussion about Night along with Russo, Russell Streiner, Marilyn Eastman, Judith O'Dea, Karl Hardman, Kyra Schon and Bill Hinzman. Jamboree was dedicated to Duane Jones, who passed away in 1988. Aside from Jones, Judith Ridley was the only primary cast member unable to make the event because of a family commitment.

Around the same time, Imagine Inc. were debuting the release of their new magazine Scream Queens Illustrated and a trading card set, so Scream Queens Linnea Quigley (the magazine's very first cover girl) and Brinke Stevens (the magazine's first centerfold) show up to talk about that and their careers, followed by clips from THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (1985) and NIGHTMARE SISTERS (1987). Since Quigley and Dan Golden had worked together on a special "Scream Queen" song to help promote Russo's magazine and SQ cottage industry, we then see clips from the Russo-directed cheesecake video SCREAM QUEENS SWIMSUIT SENSATIONS (1992), which utilizes the song. Tom Savini shows up to headline a makeup fx panel, which includes Mark Burnett and a Blasco representative. Savini is also the guide on a Monroeville Mall Tour and discusses working on Dawn.

In addition, we get to see clips from THE MAJORETTES (1986), which Russo wrote and produced, the "romantic tragedy" The Affair, which was directed by Romero, produced by Russo and later re-titled There's Always Vanilla (1971), the Savini-directed, Romero-written and Russo-produced Night remake from 1990 and even a funny trailer from a TV showing of a colorized version of Night. This is basically just patched-together home movies but it does have some interesting footage and is an OK view for fans.

★★

Deepening, The (2006)

Directed by:
Ted Alderman
Jim O'Rear

New York City firefighter Ted (Ted Alderman) is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder because of the events of 9/11. In an attempt to pull himself back together, he relocates to an uneventful small town and gets a new job at another fire department. Because Ted is quiet and a little odd, most of his co-workers make fun of him. The only one who doesn't is Jim (Jim O'Rear), a man whose entire world seems to revolve around getting laid. Jim hooks Ted up on a blind date with a girl who ends up dead at the end of the evening. No one is actually charged with the crime (though Ted is found covered in her blood!), more murders soon follow and a couple of police detectives investigate. Jim becomes the prime suspect after one of his lovers is killed and sets out to prove his innocence. Cheap gore, T&A and a costumed killer all wrapped up in a badly plotted mystery movie format? Yep. This one actually does manage to check all of the expected slasher flick boxes. I'll give it that much credit. A few guest stars - Gunnar Hansen as a police psychiatrist and Debbie Rochon as Jim's ex-girlfriend - show up in small roles, too. Aside from that, this has absolutely nothing of value to offer. The story is lame, the acting is bad, the lead character is thoroughly unlikable, the identity of the killer is painfully predictable and the last 30 minutes are a disaster. I know the budget was very low, but there is really no excuse for the photography to be as bad as it is here. Many of the shots are actually blurry and the lighting is consistently terrible.

... And holy vanity production! Co-director / writer / producer O'Rear is hilariously miscast as the town stud, who has numerous large-breasted woman wanting to jump his bones the minute they lay eyes on him. Now I might understand this if Jim were tall, dark and handsome, but he's short, bald and average-looking, so seeing all these women literally throwing themselves at him throughout the movie is pretty laughable. Then again, I suppose if given the chance most guys would gladly script themselves a role where they spend half their screen time fondling breasts.

Speaking of breasts, no less than six different actresses show off the goods here. One (Maria Kil) even goes beyond the call of duty by going full frontal. Just thought you might want a heads up in case you plan on fast-forwarding to the nudity. Rochon doesn't even appear until the second half in case you want to skip directly to her sex scene.

★1/2

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1987)

...aka: Hollywood Hookers

Directed by:

Fred Olen Ray

Cheerfully cheap, infamously-titled B horror/comedy (filmed in just five and a half days) hits most of the right notes if you like this kind of stuff. Sleazy, wisecracking private eye Jack Chandler (Jay Richardson, who also narrates) is hired to locate runaway Samantha (Linnea Quigley) by her mother. While hanging out with some cops investigating a rash of mysterious dismemberment murders, Jack swipes a matchbook with the name of a hooker, Mercedes, written on it, as well as her phone number. He calls, arranges to meet her (Michelle "McLellan"/ Bauer) at a local bar, shows up and is immediately drugged. When he comes to, he finds himself knee deep in a cult of chainsaw-worshipping prostitutes who seduce and then chainsaw hapless saps to pieces to please the ancient Egyptian God Anubis. The cult is presided over by "The Master" (TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE's "Leatherface" himself, Gunnar Hansen) and Jack learns that Sam has infilatrated the group to get revenge on the death of her friend.

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HCH is every bit as silly and aggressively campy as one might expect from the title and delivers precisely what is expected of it. It's loaded with nudity and there are plenty of amusing scenes featuring cartoonish amounts of blood and rubber body parts flying all over the place when the hookers cut their clientel down to size. Aside from the horror content, the film also effectively takes aim at noir and TV detective shows with Richardson's dry, almost nonstop and often very funny narration track (conceived with a playear for wordplay and puns by the director and T.L. Lankford).

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No one's expecting top flight acting from one of these things, they're expecting good-natured, enthusiastic camping, and that's precisely what most of the cast deliver. Richardson does a fine job in the lead role (one of his firt), though the character he's playing is so unlikable and sleazy it's tough to really take to him. Quigley - introduced at a later junction in the film - and Bauer both look like they're having a blast playing their respective parts. Better yet, both ladies get their very own memorable dance sequence. Quigley's - "Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws" - has her emerging from a sarcophagus clad only in a thong and some body paint with two mini- chainsaws in hand. Bauer's - the best scene in the entire film - has her stripping, dancing to some imitation Elvis and prepping her room (covering her painting of The King in plastic and putting on a shower cap!) before making a mess of her trick (Jimmy Williams). Dawn Wildsmith (as a chainsaw hooker in custody during the opening scene) and "Jerry Fox" / Fox Harris (as a customer who wants to make a topless little league calendar) have memorably amusing smaller roles. The only real disappointment is with Hansen, who seems like he's not even trying. Also with "Dukey Flyswatter"/ Michael D. Sonye as a bartender, Dennis Mooney as a cop and Gary J. Levinson.

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It was selected as the #4 coolest B-movie by Maxim Magazine not long ago and is one of the director's best films. Ray's company Retromedia released a 20th Anniversary Edition in 2008 which includes a commentary track from Ray and Lankford and a "making of" featurette with Ray, Quigley and Bauer.

★★★

Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The (1974)

Directed by:
Tobe Hooper

Review coming soon.

★★★★