Ratings Key

= Excellent. The best the genre has to offer.
1/2 = Very Good. Perhaps not "perfect," but undoubtedly a must-see.
★★★ = Good. Accomplishes what it sets out to do and does it well.
★★1/2 = Fair. Clearly flawed and nothing spectacular, but competently made. OK entertainment.
★★ = Mediocre. Either highly uneven or by-the-numbers and uninspired.
1/2 = Bad. Very little to recommend.
= Very Bad. An absolute chore to sit through.
NO STARS! = Abysmal. Unwatchable dreck that isn't even bad-movie amusing.
SBIG = So Bad It's Good. Technically awful movies with massive entertainment value.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Primal Scream (1987)

...aka: Hellfire

Directed by:
William Murray

Futuristic P.I. Corby McHale (Kenneth J. McGregor) narrates this feature length flashback about what happens when he takes on a case involving a troubled blonde (Julie Miller) who's targeted for murder. It's 1993 and her brother is involved in marketing some kind of top-secret energy catalyst called HELLFIRE (also the shooting title) that ends up causing victims to disintegrate, leaving only a pile of dust. There's a corrupt company behind all of it who'd rather kill than to have the secret exposed. So far, so boring. Ten minutes into this (after an assassination attempt, an exploding space station and a double impalement during sex) I figured the loose ends would be tied up somewhere, but they never are. In fact, nothing in this spoofy mess makes a lick of sense. There are so many pointless characters that the motivations of the villains are constantly muddled, the performances are terrible and it can't decide whether it wants to be action, sci-fi, horror or comedy. God awful!

Score: 1 out of 10

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...