Ratings Key

= Excellent. The best the genre has to offer.
1/2 = Very Good. Perhaps not "perfect," but undoubtedly a must-see.
★★★ = Good. Accomplishes what it sets out to do and does it well.
★★1/2 = Fair. Clearly flawed and nothing spectacular, but competently made. OK entertainment.
★★ = Mediocre. Either highly uneven or by-the-numbers and uninspired.
1/2 = Bad. Very little to recommend.
= Very Bad. An absolute chore to sit through.
NO STARS! = Abysmal. Unwatchable dreck that isn't even bad-movie amusing.
SBIG = So Bad It's Good. Technically awful movies with massive entertainment value.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Jaws of Satan (1979)

...aka: King Cobra

Directed by:
Bob Claver

I'm a big fan of killer snake flicks, but this one didn't quite cut the mustard. Nonsense plot involves Satan himself materializing on Earth in the form of a giant, deadly, fast-moving KING COBRA (the original title of this film). Fritz Weaver is a determined priest out to stop it, John Korkes is a helpful herpetologist who blows the top of one’s head off with a rifle in a standout gore scene and Gretchen Corbett is a reporter who is attacked by a rattlesnake in her bedroom. There’s also a very young, but recognizable, Christina Applegate as the daughter of the mayor, who becomes a snake bite victim. The film comes complete with one of those irritating cover-up subplots by city officials who (yawn) don’t want to cause a panic and scare off tourists. Some of the attacks pack a punch if you’re scared of snakes, but you can still clearly make out a glass barrier between the victims and the snake in some of the shots. It wasn't released until 1981.


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