Ratings Key

= Excellent. The best the genre has to offer.
1/2 = Very Good. Perhaps not "perfect," but undoubtedly a must-see.
★★★ = Good. Accomplishes what it sets out to do and does it well.
★★1/2 = Fair. Clearly flawed and nothing spectacular, but competently made. OK entertainment.
★★ = Mediocre. Either highly uneven or by-the-numbers and uninspired.
1/2 = Bad. Very little to recommend.
= Very Bad. An absolute chore to sit through.
NO STARS! = Abysmal. Unwatchable dreck that isn't even bad-movie amusing.
SBIG = So Bad It's Good. Technically awful movies with massive entertainment value.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

ROT: Reunion of Terror (2008)

... aka: Reunion of Terror

Directed by:
Michael Hoffman Jr.

Acronyms are fun! ROT is a POS. See! When I first penned this brief review, this had a somewhat respectable rating of 6.2 on IMDb, but I figured people directly involved in the production were responsible for boosting up the rating. I figured correct, because since this popped up as an Xbox Instant View, the rating quickly fell by several points. This is a sloppy low-budget slasher movie that doesn't deliver much of what anyone wants to see. Well, unless you love really bad acting, cringe-worthy terrible dialogue, irritating and unsympathetic characters, unoriginal murder scenes, some of the worst editing known to man and very poor use of slow motion in nearly every single scene.

Two lesbians are killed during the opening sequence. What they have to do with the rest of the movie (aside from providing the sole glimpse of nudity) is beyond me. Then we're introduced to five former classmates; Jimmy (Christian Anderson), Tyrone (L.J. Green), Michelle (Nori Jill Phillips), Amanda (Monique Barajas) and B.J. (Mark Carducci), who get together ten years after graduation for a camping trip. Judging by the hateful dialogue, these people can't stand being around one another so I have no clue why they'd even bother with a reunion in the first place. A sixth "friend" who organized the trip doesn't show up but the others, along with a young female runaway (Hallie Bird), decide to head to their rented cabin. Along the way they're hassled by a perverted park ranger (John Shumski), someone flattens their tires and the filmmakers attempt to be funny by making lame jokes about tampons, panty-sniffing, jail bait and bowel movements. Then (surprise!) a psycho shows up to do them all in.

After sitting through 70 some minutes of utter tripe, the film tries to introduce a twist at the end (hinted at in the abbreviated title), but it doesn't work at all. You can tell the filmmakers thought they were being provocative and shocking, but they fail to pull it off in any kind of meaningful or impactful way.

Production on this began in 2006 but the film didn't get a DVD release until four years later. I can see why no one was really chomping at the bit to get this out to the masses.

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