Ratings Key



★★★★
= Excellent. The best the genre has to offer.
★★★
1/2 = Very Good. Perhaps not "perfect," but undoubtedly a must-see.
★★★ = Good. Accomplishes what it sets out to do and does it well.
★★1/2 = Fair. Clearly flawed and nothing spectacular, but competently made. OK entertainment.
★★ = Mediocre. Either highly uneven or by-the-numbers and uninspired.
1/2 = Bad. Very little to recommend.
= Very Bad. An absolute chore to sit through.
NO STARS! = Abysmal. Unwatchable dreck that isn't even bad-movie amusing.
SBIG = So Bad It's Good. Technically awful movies with massive entertainment value.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Los violadores (1981)

... aka: Bikers and the Disco Kid, The
... aka: Desperado's op wielen
... aka: Mad Foxes
... aka: Stingray 2
... aka: Violators, The

Directed by:
"Paul Gray" (Paul Grau)

Few Euro-sleaze movies manage to cram in as much crap as Los violadores. It has pretty much everything a fan of this type of film could possibly hope for; terrible acting, laughable English-language dubbing, cringe-worth dialogue, a thoroughly ridiculous plot, loads of gore, loads of sex, a biker gang, shoot-outs, explosions, disco dancing, car chases, Nazis, full nudity, karate, fully nude karate, castration, a random flock of sheep, legless drunks, wardrobe that changes from shot to shot for no apparent reason, the rape of a virgin, clothing-optional beaches, several awful 80s hair rock songs (by "Krokus") and, of course, the all important whip-wielding dominatrix. It's missing cannibals and lesbian nuns, but nothing is perfect.




Middle-aged Hal ("Robert O'Neal" / José Gras), our questionable-at-best "hero," is out cruisin' round in his prized Stingray with his just-turned-18-year-old girlfriend Babsy ("Sally Sullivan" / Andrea Albani). Stopped at a traffic light, they're harassed by a group of bikers who spit in Hal's face, which leads to a street race, which leads to one of the bikers hitting a car, which leads to his motorcycle inexplicably blowing up. Hal and Babsy go to a nightclub, where he plies her with champagne and whiskey in hopes that he'll get the chance to break her in. Suddenly, we cut to three couples dressed in 1950s garb doing a choreographed dance to swing music that's clearly set in some place OTHER than the bar Hal and Babsy are at. Afterward, the drunk couple leave only to end up face to face with the biker gang. Hal is beaten unconscious and then the leader, an effeminate guy dressed in Nazi garb (!), sticks his hand between Babsy's legs and discovers she's a virgin. After rubbing his menstrual blood covered finger on her face, Babsy gets raped by one of the bikers, which disturbs her so much that she promptly disappears from the rest of the movie.





Wanting revenge for the incident, Hal phones up his friend Linus (played by the director), who runs a karate school. Linus brings along his entire class to an amphitheater where the bikers are having a memorial service for their fallen friend. After beating all of them up, Linus pulls out a knife, cuts off the leader's dick and then shoves it in his mouth! I guess that means war. In retaliation, the bikers head on over to the karate school heavily armed and proceed to kill all of the students off with grenades and machine guns. One of the bikers gets Linus to rat out where Hal lives before stabbing him. The gang then goes to Hal's apartment to kill him and shoot a security guard, but Hal manages to lose them during a street chase. Deciding he needs to split town for awhile and let things blow over, Hal heads out to the country to visit his elderly parents. On the way there he picks up female hitchhiker Lily (Laura Premica), who has just spent the day frolicking on a nude beach with some guy she just met. Hal manages to coerce her into accompanying him to his parent's home by telling her, "You'll love my mother... even though she's an invalid."






Hal and Lily arrive at the parent's mansion and quickly excuse themselves to the bedroom after a brief introduction. He says "You don't know how long I've waited for this moment" (I'd say about 2 hours max) before the two have a romp in what appears to be a urine-filled bathtub. Hawt! After some hunting, some chess and a quickie against a tree, the happy couple decide to go horseback riding. While they're out, the biker gang show up. How they managed to find the place (or even knew where Hal was) is a mystery, but they proceed to clean house by shoving the gardener's sheers down his throat, gunning down the older maid and the father with a machine gun, holding the younger maid down and gutting her and shooting ma between the eyes, causing her wheelchair to fly backward and flip over. When Hal returns to the house full of carnage, he vows to get revenge... and makes everyone watching at home laugh their ass off watching his sorry attempt at an emotional meltdown. He then kills off the bikers one-by-one (including blowing one with a grenade while he's sitting on the toilet), throwing out such lines as "Don't squeal like an old bitch!" and "I'd like to slice your prick!" along the way.





Partially because of actor Gras (who was also in Bruno Mattei's awful NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES aka Hell of the Living Dead), this movie may have the least appealing "hero" I've ever seen in one of these things. The guy is so smug, arrogant and self-satisfied you just want to punch him in the face after each of his lines... but that just makes the big surprise ending all the more hilarious! The credits are filled with fake Anglicized names, but I recognized at least three actors (several of the bikers - including Euro trash regular Erik Falk as "Stileto") from the Swiss women-in-prison movie ISLAND WOMEN (1980), which was produced by the director of this one.




Los violadores was never legitimately released on VHS in America. If it had been, the film would surely be a cult classic by now. The DVD I viewed was distributed through Euroland Movies, whose copy (under the title Mad Foxes) is English-dubbed.

SBIG

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