Ratings Key



★★★★
= Excellent. The best the genre has to offer.
★★★
1/2 = Very Good. Perhaps not "perfect," but undoubtedly a must-see.
★★★ = Good. Accomplishes what it sets out to do and does it well.
★★1/2 = Fair. Clearly flawed and nothing spectacular, but competently made. OK entertainment.
★★ = Mediocre. Either highly uneven or by-the-numbers and uninspired.
1/2 = Bad. Very little to recommend.
= Very Bad. An absolute chore to sit through.
NO STARS! = Abysmal. Unwatchable dreck that isn't even bad-movie amusing.
SBIG = So Bad It's Good. Technically awful movies with massive entertainment value.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Evil Town (1984)

Directed by:
"Edward Collins" (Curtis Hanson)
Mardi Rustam
Larry Spiegel
Peter S. Traynor

The decade-and-a-half journey Evil Town took before it was mass distributed is a tale more interesting than the film itself. Noting that there were no less than four different directors on this project; Curtis Hanson, Larry Spiegel, Peter S. Traynor and Mardi Rustam (the latter credited separately as having directed "additional sequences") will immediately clue one in to the fact this is a patchwork film. Footage is weaved in from at least three different shoots from at least three different times, dating way back to October 1973. Much of the footage - and plot - is from a project that began life as God Bless Grandma and Grandpa, which boasted a cast of familiar veteran character actors in supporting roles but was just barely released in 1974. Some sources claim it wasn't released at all, though there are posters, advertising materials and reviews from back then that state otherwise. The film had been re-titled multiple times along the way to add to the confusion. Some sources claim it was known during production as Town of Bloody Horror. It then became Dr. Bless Dr. Shagetz. Several posters were then distributed; one with the "Bless" x'd out and "Damn" added over top to create God Damn Dr. Shagetz and another titled simply Dr. Shagetz. One of the reviews from a sneak preview referred to it as Crazy Dr. Shagetz. The film was submitted to the MPAA for a rating in 1974, which means a completed cut existed at one point. Either way, very few people actually saw this film back then and it was an extremely limited release at best.




Supposedly, future Oscar-winner Curtis Hanson (who opted for the alias "Edward Collins") began this film but either quit or was fired, so producer Peter S. Traynor (who co-owned the production company that financed the project) stepped in and finished it. Traynor was later sued by investors in his company and was indicted for multiple counts of fraud in the late 1970s. The ruling would be overturned because of spotty juror attendance, but I suppose the damage was already done by that point. In the early 80s, Mardi Rustam purchased the completed Dr. Shagetz film and instead of just releasing it as is, he decided to spice it up by adding some nudity and more action to prepare it for home video. Some sources claim that Rustam also used footage from a abandoned, unfinished horror film, which may be Spiegel's contribution. Since there are multiple subplots, it's not a hard story to believe. All of the footage was completely edited together and ready to go by no later than 1984 (several sources say 1983), but it took three more years before the film saw the light of day on VHS. TransWorld decided to bite and issued the film in a box that misled potential renters into thinking they were getting a zombie film.




Welcome to the small town of, uh, Smalltown. Yes indeedy that's the name. Elevation 13. Population 666. A family of four passing through makes the mistake of stopping by friendly old Earl's (E.J. André) gas station and end up prisoner in a sinister clinic hooked up to some blood-pumping machines instead. Meanwhile, four young hippies from L.A.; Christopher (James Keach), his girlfriend Julie (Michele Marsh), Mike (Robert Walker Jr.) and his girlfriend Linda (Doria Cook), end up swinging into town and have some problems with their van overheating. They arrange for Earl to fix it and camp out that evening; catching someone spying on them from the brush. The two couples return to town the next day to pick up their van, but they're told they have engine troubles and are forced to stay on a few of extra days. Lyle (Dabbs Greer) and Mildred (Lurene Tuttle), who had lost a son and claim are excited about having some company, are the extremely hospital elderly couple who put them up while they're in town.




The town is full of outwardly charming old timers, but strangely there are no children or young adults anywhere to be found. By the time Chris and company catch on that something's off with the populace, most of them have already washed down Clarissa's world famous buttermilk donuts with some drugged tea. Only Chris escapes but he's soon hunted down by a mob of angry citizens and then learns the the secret of Smalltown. Dr. Schaeffer (renamed from Dr. Shagetz but still played by Dean Jagger) is sick of old people getting pushed around and has come up with a special formula to help the elderly live way past their expiration date. Young people who show up in the area are kidnapped and brought to the clinic where the "x factor chemical in the pituitary" is removed. The brain damaged victims who've had their chemicals tapped out are kept in straight jackets in a caged room waiting to be disposed of. In between all of this are the newly added, more exploitative scenes.




The new footage can be broken down into two basic parts. The primary subplot concerns sadistic garage mechanics Harry (Keith Hefner) and Wally (Greg Finley), who are bored and decide to head out to a nearby campground to have some "fun" with a few young campers. And by fun, I mean kidnapping and raping them (the females at least), then handing them over to the clinic when they're done. Dianne (Lynda Wiesmeier) feels uncomfortable necking outside ("I just have a feeling all these trees are watching us!") so she convinces her boyfriend Tony (Scott Hunter) to move the action to the car. The mechanics get to them first, knock them out and tie them up. They drag Dianne back to the gas station and rape her, then take Tony to the clinic to be another specimen. Two other girls; Terrie (Christie Houser) and her squeaky-voiced airhead friend Karen (Noelle Harling) are also kidnapped. The second portion of the new footage are scenes set at the clinic spliced in the with old scenes set at the clinic. In these, a man escapes, karate kicks a doctor and an orderly and goes on the lam. Jillian Kesner was added as the doctor's assistant and spends most of her time standing in the lobby talking to people or on the phone.




The original Shagetz footage is slow and a bit bland, but it isn't completely awful. Having many fine character actors on hand (including Hope Summers, Regis Toomey and Richard Hale) is a huge plus. Scenes of the old people attacking with syringes, boards and shotguns, pulling hair or getting thrown around, punched or kicked - which are usually put in slow-motion - are strange to put it mildly. Unfortunately, I cannot really factor the original footage into my grade: I have to factor how well all of the new footage complements the original footage. Considering the new footage is often poorly spliced in, has awful acting and dialogue, doesn't quite match up looks-wise and sticks thematically close to the original concept yet adds nothing interesting to it, I'd say not very well. The only possible point of interest is a gratuitous topless appearance by large-breasted Playboy Playmate Wiesmeier, though you could always just check out one of her pictorials instead. There's very little violence and the film is nearly completely bloodless. If Shagetz in its original form surfaces it will receive its own separate review here, but in the meantime, this is unfortunately the best we've got.




Rustam recycled the garage mechanic characters, the evil clinic and the kidnappings, while adding a new alien angle, hiring some better-known actors and upping the nudity and violence considerably, for EVILS OF THE NIGHT (1984).

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