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Thursday, May 3, 2018

Demon House (2018)

Directed by:
Zak Bagans

Imagine you move into a new house and find yourself unnerved by strange noises, objects moving and numerous other unexplained events. Now imagine your children suddenly becoming possessed, turning vicious and violent, walking up walls backwards and speaking in deep, demonic voices. While making arrangements to move the hell out of there, what else might you be doing? Note that these supposed events aren't taking place in the 1970s but in 2012. You know, when everyone has a phone with a camera and hardly anyone can get through a single day without documenting their kids, pets, what they'd doing, where they're going and what they're having for dinner. Here we're basically asked to believe that the haunted woman in question, Latoya Ammons, and her family suffered through months of demonic activity, possession and supernatural terror and not once thought about picking up a camera to film any of it. Color me skeptical.





But what could possibly (no pun intended) possess people to just make up some story like this? Well, considering these filmmakers couldn't even get an on-camera interview with Ammons herself as she'd already sold her rights to her story to someone else, we already know the answer to that, just as we also know it's been proven countless times over that most people will exaggerate events once a camera is pointed at their face. Seeing how Ammons lives in an impoverished area of Gary, Indiana, this has the potential to become a gravy train for her and her family, just as similar stories have proven to be highly profitable for people like Ed and Lorraine Warren and the Lutz's of Amityville Horror fame.

Outside of hearsay and a few sketchy witnesses (one that Bagans himself admits on camera wouldn't talk until he paid him!), there's no concrete evidence nor anything substantive to back up Ammons. In lieu of that, our trusty filmmakers have decided to film reenactments of all of the events and add spooky sound effects and music. After endless interviews, our egomaniacal host and his crew then decide to investigate the home with their EMF meter and other gadgets and, again, provide no real proof of anything unless you count fuzzy "enhanced" EVPs and videos that mysteriously go out of focus when shadowy "black masses" appear. This is all tied together with Bagans' awful narration, which is horribly written and read in the flattest, most monotone manner imaginable.





After purchasing the supposed demon-infested home and filming enough material for this, "Demon House" was deemed "a portal to hell" and just "too evil" to remain standing and Bagans had it destroyed. Uh, so he destroyed a hotbed of demonic activity that would be invaluable for future theological and paranormal studies? And destroyed something that could conceivably prove something that 16 (!) seasons of Ghost Adventures never could: that supernatural forces and the afterlife do indeed exist? Sure, makes perfect sense. I first thought the home destruction was both a publicity stunt and a means to cover his own tracks to prevent further investigations into the home and Ammons' claims, and perhaps it partially is, but another motive is revealed in none-too-subtle fashion at the very end when Bagans announces that he's kept some haunted artifacts from demon house. And what a coinkydink, he's also recently opened his own "Haunted Museum" in Las Vegas where you get to pay 44 dollars to see them.





There are a number of anecdotes provided either by the supposedly afflicted or Bagans himself about visitors being affected by the home's demonic power. These include everything from having a bicycle accident to being diagnosed with cancer and prostate infections to getting evicted to quitting a job and moving to having to seek therapy to being compelled to tattoo 666 on their hand, start abusing eyeliner and taking a bunch of "Goth" photos of themselves. One crew member reports throwing up blood and bleeding from the ears, yet the film crew doesn't actually, ya know, film any of that. And then you have another woman who looks on the verge of laughing recounting a story about her daughter having the number 6 "engraved" on her back after having contact with the home. Naturally, she also forgot to take a picture of it just as anyone whose child miraculously woke up with a 6 carved on their back would just point, say "OMG!" and then go about their day without snapping a single photo. Seems legit.





Just when you think this can't sink any lower, Bagans also attempts to link the demons in this Indiana home to the murder/suicide of former GA contributors Mark and Debby Constantino. In 2015, Mark murdered Debby and a male friend of hers before committing suicide during a police stand-off. The couple had a long and well-documented history of domestic abuse, battery by strangulation, knife attacks, rape accusations and even kidnapping; much of which stretched further back than Ammons' fantastical stories. Now Bagans wants us to believe the Constantino murders were caused by demons; these demons? Honestly, does it really get any more pathetic than to degrade and demean victims of murder and domestic violence by scapegoating an abuser / murderer to help sell your stupid fucking pseudo-documentary?





I often wonder what the appeal of stuff like this is, but it's really not all that complicated. Some find is ridiculous and pitiful and unintentionally funny. Some approach this stuff apprehensively but with an open mind to evaluate the evidence presented. And there are people like me who get suckered in through our love of horror movies and love of movies involving ghosts, demons, etc. But there's also this other group who can't just rest easy in their own faith and are so desperate for proof of the afterlife they actually eat this embarrassing junk up simply because they want to believe it. Things like Ghost Adventures and this documentary provide them with the affirmation they desire.





Just as false prophet televangelists convince their flock that God speaks to them, comes to them in their dreams and wants them to hand over their money, Bagans has a similar scam going where ghosts contact him, he has visions of things like a "12 foot tall goat figure" (lol) in his dreams and then he makes a shit ton of money off of it. The real phenomenon here that requires further study isn't the supernatural, it's the people made of flesh-and-blood willing to buy what he's selling. Another study should be done as to why IMDb was flooded with 10 star reviews that were mysteriously sent in large numbers on the same exact days and with the same exact grammatical errors.







Speaking of IMDb, they've also removed their message boards to help minimize viewer dissent along with implementing an easy-to-abuse favorable / not favorable system to downgrade inconveniently negative reviews. But we're smarter than all that and not so easily fooled, right? And we also aren't fooled by genre sites like Dread Central praising this idiocy either, right? This is the same Dread Central that was actively promoting this swill for months prior to its release with a bunch of "exclusive" articles, a podcast interview, a Demon House "Artwork Premiere," an "Exclusive Q&A" with Bagans, various promotions of his Vegas "Haunted Museum" and more. In light of all that, their glowing review shouldn't come as much of a surprise, should it?  Actually, it's downright shameless, as is the fact the review is then allowed to factor into Rotten Tomatoes to boost its score. When reviews from supposed film experts and professional "critics" can be factored into a film's PR budget, that's just one more nail in the coffin as far as unbiased film criticism is concerned.

NO STARS!

Friday, April 13, 2018

Umezu Kazuo no Noroi (1990)

... aka: The Curse of Kazuo Umezu

Directed by:
Naoko Omi

A creepy man sitting on a swing warns against playing puerile pranks and tells us not to toy with the supernatural to preface this two-part anime. The first tale is “What Will the Video Camera Reveal?” The mysterious Rima Ogawa has just returned to Japan from Mexico and is starting at a new school. Everyone (particularly all the guys) seem interested in the beautiful young girl, but she has a strange, unnerving effect on another female student named Masami. Simply by looking at her, Masami feels electricity coursing through her body, passes out and has to be taken to the nurse's office. Later that night, she has a nightmare so disturbing she can't even remember it and awakens to discover her bedroom window open and a small, unexplained mark in the middle of her neck. She puts a band-aid over it and goes about her business. The following night, she makes sure to lock her window but has another nightmare and awakens to discover the mark on her neck is larger and bleeding. She also has a clump of black hair in her hand...






Now convinced the new girl in school is a vampire who's out to get her, Masami tries to tell others but her concerns are brushed off as her being jealous of Rima's beauty. She turns to her friend Umezu who gives her a video camera and tells her to tape herself sleeping. That way if someone is indeed sneaking into her bedroom to feast on her blood at least she'll have proof. Masami goes through the same nightmare routine as before. Umezu watches the tape and sees something so frightening he immediately leaves; only telling Masami that if she wants to see what it is, to watch the tape herself. But Masami is too scared. She does however notice some strange changes in herself; namely that her neck wound has healed and that she seems to be getting more beautiful. This is particularly strange considering suspected vampire Rima is no longer in town and has transferred schools.





Our second story is “The Haunted Mansion.” Horror movie obsessed Nanako invites her friend Miko over for a slumber party where the two eat junk food, drink beer and watch horror videos. Getting a bit tired of movies, Nanako decides it'd be even scarier to go to a nearby abandoned mansion to see if rumors that it's haunted are actually true. Because the place is going to be demolished soon, she manages to talk her apprehensive friend into going to at least look at the place. Once they arrive, two other curious neighborhood girls show up and the four break in. As soon as they enter through the door, it slams shut. And their flashlight dies. And they discover the portrait of a mysterious and beautiful woman. Always good signs. After stumbling into a child's room, the horrors begin.





Miko has a hallucination involving a music box, a teddy bear and toys bleeding and then the room filling up with blood. And then a hideous ghost in a blue flowing gown shows up. Simply by staring at someone, the ghost can make their body completely fall apart, as three of the girls soon find out. The squeamish Miko is the only one who remains as the ghost slowly approaches. She suddenly wakes up in bed, thinking everything was a nightmare. The next day at school, Nanako and the other three girls who were with Miko in her dream all have unexplained scars around their limbs and necks. In order to see if all that is connected to the mansion, the four girls decide to go there and see for themselves. Needless to say, that turns out to be a big mistake.





Running just 43 minutes, the animation here is cheap and crude when it's compared to – say – Disney movies made around this same time. But ask yourself: Do Disney movies feature a face-sucking, spider-spewing, tentacled mutant creature and dismemberments and decapitations galore? That's a lot of the appeal of something like this. Though more recent anime has certainly improved technically, this is still a lot of gory fun and both of the fast-paced stories are clever and surprising in spots. The brief bookmarking segments are also pretty amusing. 






This is based on stories by horror / manga / comic writer Kazuo Umezu. As an inside joke, one of the horror videos the girls in the second story almost watch is titled “The Curse of Kazuo Umezu,” which promises “Ultimate terror!” and to be “A masterpiece of horror!” After I looked this guy up, I realized I'd already seen something based on his writings: the live action SNAKE GIRL AND THE SILVER-HAIRED WITCH (1968), which seems to be the very first adaptation of any of his work. After years of writing, Umezu made his directorial debut (at almost 80 years old!) with the autobiographical Mother (2004). He also is a noted inspiration behind the work of Junji Ito (Tomie, Uzumaki).

★★★
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