Howling V: The Rebirth (1989)

... aka: And Then There Were... Barely Any Werewolves! (I kid!)
... aka: Aullidos 5: El regreso (Howling 5: The Return)
... aka: Grito de Horror 5: O Renascimento (Horror Scream 5: The Renaissance)
... aka: Howling V, The

Directed by:
Neal Sundstrom

Count Istvan (Philip Davis) invites nine strangers to an isolated Hungarian castle that has been closed down for 500 years after everyone inside was slaughtered save for one baby. Among the guests invited to the opening are photographer David Gillespie (Ben Cole), doctor Catherine Peake (Victoria Catlin), airhead aspiring actress Marylou Summers (Elizabeth Shé), writer Gail Cameron (Stephanie Faulkner), pro tennis player Jonathan Lane (Mark Sivertsen), adulterous playboy Richard Hamilton (William Shockley), historian Professor Dawson (Nigel Triffitt), Scandinavian actress Anna Benson (former model and 1977 "Miss Sweden" and "Miss World" title-holder Mary Stavin) and ponytail-sporting Aussie Ray Price (Clive Turner, who also produced and wrote the script). Quite a varied group, but each turn out to be connected in some way they don't yet realize and all happen to share the same odd birthmark on their arm. Oh yes, and one just so happens to be a werewolf. The Count has lured them all there to find out just who it is and to finally put an end to the curse once and for all.

Part V isn't at all like the previous four films. In fact, this is one amazingly disjointed series in general. The first is a vastly entertaining, in-joke-filled horror film with a sense of humor that helped put director Joe Dante on the map and was an entirely American production. The second is a misbegotten attempt at camp barely linked to the first film, which had UK backing and was filmed mostly in Prague. The third is a truly bizarre kitchen sink horror-comedy-social commentary with marsupial werewolves that was an Australian production. Part IV was a serious and dull virtual remake of the first movie minus the professionalism and humor that was filmed in South Africa. And this one, which has clearly been influenced most by "Ten Little Indians," had UK, US and Hungarian backing and was filmed in Budapest. If you're keeping score, that's five different movies filmed in five different countries that seldom even relate to one another. None of the sequels come anywhere near the original film and this is no exception to that rule, but it's somewhat better than a few of the other entries.

One of the things I liked best about this was the Gothic setting, which is quite unusual for a werewolf tale. There are secret passageways and an endless labyrinth of catacombs underneath the dimly-lit castle for the action to play out in and the art direction and sets are fairly good in this low-budget film. It's also set during a bad blizzard that traps all of the characters inside, so the snowy atmosphere was a nice change of pace, as well. That said, every other component of this film was highly uneven. The cast is a mixed bag of competent actors (Davis, Catlin) and embarrassing amateurs (Shé being the worst offender there, though several of the male cast members give her a run for her money). The dialogue is frequently laughable and the whole mystery plot - possibly inspired by the earlier who's-the-werewolf mystery THE BEAST MUST DIE (1974) - also isn't anything to write home about. The filmmakers employ at least one annoying and highly unlikely 'cheat' scene to conceal the identity of the wolf until the very end.

I had to brighten this image up considerably in order to see even this much!

Perhaps the most disappointing thing of all is that this film is sorely lacking in werewolf scenes. You rent a werewolf movie to see werewolves, am I right? Well here we never once get a full view of one of the creatures. It is almost always shown in silhouette or in shots too dark to make out and the werewolf's face is only shown two times that I recall, with both shots little more than brief, barely lit flashes. Needless to say, that also means there are no man-to-wolf transformation scenes that the series basically hinges its reputation on and that all four previous films contain. Don't expect any blood, gore or on-screen deaths either. All of the victims either just react to an approaching werewolf or get pulled off-screen to die. If not for two instances of female nudity, this probably would have received a PG-13 rating.

★★

Blood Bath (1976)

... aka: Baño de sangre
... aka: Horror Cocktail - Die verrücktesten Schauergeschichten der Welt
... aka: Joel M. Reed's Blood Bath

Directed by:
Joel M. Reed

This low budget comic horror anthology barely got any kind of release here in the U.S. and never saw the light of day on a home viewing format here until 2006, when Subversive Cinema finally released it on DVD. Prior to that, it received video releases in the UK, Argentina (as Baño de sangre = "Bloodbath") and Germany (as Horror Cocktail - Die verrücktesten Schauergeschichten der Welt = "Horror Cocktail - The Weirdest Stories in the World"). Considering it's from the director of the outrageously tasteless BLOODSUCKING FREAKS (1976) - a film well-known to genre fans for the over-the-top gore, female nudity and almost gleeful sadism - this is a much more mainstream affair. In fact, there's no nudity, next to no blood and it was tame enough to receive a PG rating!

At a New York City film studio, arrogant horror film actor / writer / producer Peter Brown (Harve Presnell) completes a scene from his latest opus and then reveals to the cast and crew that "everyone believes in the occult except me." Taken by surprise, a German film director (Stefan Schnabel), who pines for the good old days of "sophisticated" horror, a wannabe actress who'll do anything to get a role (Deborah Loomis, one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's co-stars in his very first film, Hercules in New York) and a couple of Peter's actor colleagues in his latest film join the skeptical actor for dinner and decide to try to change his mind by telling him "real" stories of the supernatural.

Our first tale centers around George Lake (Tom Tammi), an intelligent and cocky murderer-for-hire with sixty victims to his name. George makes ingenious use of a tape recorder to ensnare rich philanderer Charlie Burman (Stanley Brock) and his airhead mistress Candy, then moves on to bigger things by attempting to make a mob hit using a bomb hidden in a briefcase despite warnings he receives from a psychic (Edith "Greenfield" / Fields) not to do it. This has several cool ideas and the twist at the end is pretty amusing.

Next up is the story of Don Savage (Jerry Lacy), a novelist trapped in an unhappy marriage with his comically whiny, nagging, annoying wife Shirley (Jean Palmerton). Don goes to an antique store and purchases a 10 dollar talisman / coin from a gypsy (Fields again) that supposedly makes wishes come true. He is instructed to give it to his wife but instead uses it to transport himself back to the French Revolution as a wounded war hero in Napoleon's army. (Of all the possible wishes you could make with the coin... that?!) Like with the first story, there's a decent twist at the end.

The third story centers around greedy, racist loan shark Ralph Lambert (Jack Somack), who doesn't care about anything other than money and doesn't give a second thought to the lives he destroys in the process of obtaining it. Right before he's set to join his wife (Doris Roberts) on a month-long European vacation he goes to his walk-in safe to relax and encounters Earl Simmons, the ghost of a black man whose death was more-or-less caused by Ralph repossessing his '64 t-bird. Earl claims he's from hell and just wants his car back, but then Ralph's bimbo secretary (Sharron Shayne) stops by and accidentally locks him in the safe... and the office is set to be closed for an entire month. This was easily my favorite of all the stories and is surprisingly amusing.

Usually they save the best for last, but not in this case as the concluding tale is a weird and dumb kung fu spoof with intentionally bad dubbing on the Asian actors and a silly story. You can see the same thing done much, much better in the hilarious "Fistful of Yen" segment in the sketch comedy The Kentucky Fried Movie (1976). American kung fu master Phillip Lott (Curt Dawson) had gone to China to learn the "nine sacred secrets of self defense" from arm and legless Master Lim (William Chen). Phillip's supposed to live a humble life of poverty, chastity and moderation but is instead defying all of the rules and attempting to sell the secrets to his students for 10K a pop. When word gets back to Lim, he flies back to the U.S. to challenge Phillip to a duel-to-the-death where he'll use the tenth secret ("Buddharama") to take down his opponent. The twist at the end is extremely stupid. Things then return to the framing story of the horror actor, which has a lame twist of its own.

British VHS Release [Rank Video]

Argentinian VHS release [Tauro Video] (photo credit: Raro VHS)

German VHS release [Video Medien Pool]

Despite the title, Blood Bath is certainly not a blood bath, so don't go into this expecting one or you'll be extremely disappointed. The closest this gets to gore is a few severed (mannequin) limbs in the second story. The whole thing is incredibly cheap-looking too, with painted plywood sets and barely-dressed rooms in several of the stories. Thankfully, the screenplay at least has its moments and the director has also lucked out in the talent department as most of the performances are at least halfway decent. I had to research many of the people in this one as they were unfamiliar to me but discovered many were busy (and award-winning) Broadway performers at the same time they appeared in this. Cult movie fans may also recognize such familiar faces as Andy Milligan film regular Neil Flanagan as a Satanic priest in the very first scene and a dark-haired P.J. Soles, who shows up at the very end for a few seconds getting to scream in bed. Sonny Landham, who went from a hardcore porn actor to a star in violent action movies to a nutso conservative politician advocating the genocide of Muslims in his unsuccessful bid for Kentucky governor, is also on the cast list but I don't recall seeing him anywhere.

★★1/2

Oval Portrait, The (1972)

... aka: Edgar Allan Poe's The Oval Portrait
... aka: El retrato ovalado

Directed by:
Rogelio A. González

Here's an odd little misfire: A low-budget Poe adaptation filmed South of the Border by the Mexican director of the macabre black comedy Skeleton of Mrs. Morales (1960) and featuring a cast of washed-up and sometimes horribly-dubbed former American film and TV stars as well as some little-known Canadian talent. A lot of things go horribly, horribly wrong in the process in this seldom-seen production, but we'll get to that here in a bit. Things open on a suitably gloomy note during dark and stormy night, when elderly and snooty Mrs. Buckingham (Doris Buckinham) and her middle-aged daughter Lisa (Wanda Hendrix) arrive at a spooky old family mansion. Why? Something about the old woman's brother dying not too long ago. I first assumed they came there for the funeral but the film does such a terrible job establishing the characters and plot in these early stages I had no clue who they were, what they were doing there or just what in the hell was going on. Thankfully, this at least eventually does start making a little sense... after about forty-five minutes!

While exiting their stagecoach, Lisa immediately sees a ghost that quickly disappears and from then on becomes paranoid about the home being haunted. She becomes especially weary of an oval portrait hanging in the living room. The portrait's subject, Rebecca (Maray Ayres), apparently died there not too long ago. Their first night there, Lisa goes downstairs to investigate some late night piano playing only to find the manic Joseph Hudson (Barry Coe) confessing his love to a woman who ends up running out the door before Lisa can identify her. Lisa then becomes obsessed with the dead Rebecca. She puts on her clothes, which pisses off Joseph to the point where he starts trying to rip them off of her, hears strange noises and sees a chandelier shake before a phantom enters into her body and possesses her. She confides to housekeeper Mrs. Warren (Gisele MacKenzie) in her monotone voice: "I am going to die very soon." Mrs. Warren then explains what happened to Rebecca and why her spirit may not be at peace.

So what did happen? Well, a year or so earlier while the Civil War was underway, wounded enemy soldier Joseph broke into the home, was discovered and then secretly nursed back to health by both Rebecca and Mrs. Warren. Rebecca's father, army Major Alexander Huntington, was a man so consumed with bitterness and anger over his "worthless tramp" wife leaving him for another man he directed his frustrations right at his only child, threatening "If I ever find you with a man, I'll kill him!" Little does he know, but his daughter and the soldier - who's been hiding out in Mrs. Warren's bedroom all this time - have fallen in love. While the Major is away at war, Joseph and Rebecca attempt to get married but the wedding is crashed by soldiers who apprehend him and drag him off to prison. A pregnant Rebecca is then thrown out of the house when her irate father returns home, loses the baby and kills herself. The father becomes catatonic and is hauled off to an asylum, leaving Mrs. Warren as the only sane one left to tell the sorry tale.

After this extremely long flashback, which eats up over 40 minutes (!) of screen time, we return to the home in present day where several horrific (so to speak) twists are about to unfold. The deceased major's attorney Mr. Ashcroft shows up, along with cousins Regina and Peter, for the reading of the will and everyone gets there just in time to see levitating candles, Lisa in the throes of possession and Rebecca's restless spirit fluttering about. The film then abruptly cuts to the following day when everyone except for Mrs. Warren (who ended up inheriting the home) and Joseph, is leaving. Lisa, introduced as a protagonist at the beginning, is suddenly A-OK and simply disappears from the rest of the film with a smile on her face. But never fear, the director has one more twisted trick up his sleeve centering around grave digging and necrophilia. I guess that's what happens when one attempts to adapt a short story that's not even two pages long.

Cut-rate Gothic horror and corny Harlequin Romance-style star-crossed lovers melodrama butt heads and, surprisingly enough, the latter actually works better than the former. Among the film's many problems are ultra-slow pacing, poor editing, overuse of zoom shots and an unfocused screenplay that ends up spending all of its time telling us a ghost / possession / haunting story that has no bearing whatsoever on how the film actually ends. It also happens to take place in the least-sinister-looking and most brightly-lit home of all time, giving this the feel of an afternoon TV special with its cheap and barely dressed sets, blank white walls and overbearing lighting. Top-billed "star" Hendrix comes off nothing short of embarrassing here. Not only is she horribly miscast in a role more suited to an actress half her age but she's also the victim of the film's worst dub. It's no wonder she threw in the towel on her acting career right after appearing in this! MacKenzie, on the other hand, gives a surprisingly strong and affecting performance under the circumstances. While that's greatly appreciated, few are going to want to suffer through an otherwise sub-par movie in order to see it.

Currently on IMDb, the credits for this film and the credits for One Minute Before Death (1972) have been merged into one entry. Though these were made by the same crew, featured most of the same actors and were both based on Poe, they are in fact two entirely different movies that were filmed at the same time. Oval was released several times on video during the 80s and has also been well-served in the DVD era with numerous releases. It's part of several of those cheap Mill Creek 50 movie sets and was also released by Alternative Cinema, who've paired it with the much-better Poe adaptation THE TELL-TALE HEART (1960), and East West Entertainment, who've paired it with Michele Soavi's superior THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER / La setta (1991).

★1/2