Man Who Could Cheat Death, The (1959)

Directed by:

Terence Fisher

Dr. Georges Bonnet (Anton Diffring), a talented sculptor and brilliant surgeon, seems awfully well-educated and worldly for someone in their mid 30s. That's because he's not actually in his mid 30s... he just looks it. Actually, Georges is 104 years old. Seventy years earlier, he and his now-elderly colleague, Prof. Ludwig Weiss (Arnold Marle), came up with a way to prolong life and youth with glandular transplants that must be administered every ten years. While Ludwig decided to simply let age run its course, Georges allowed himself to be the guinea pig. He's even concocted a special serum that can temporarily keep him alive while he waits for a new transplant. If he doesn't get the new gland, his face turns yellow, seventy years worth pain and agony flood him all at once... and someone else usually ends up dying. Every ten years, Georges relocates to a new city to begin a new chapter in his life, but the lonliness associated with living forever is finally starting to catch up to him.

Now in Paris, Georges is reunited with Janine Dubois (Hazel Court), a beautiful young woman he'd met and fell in love with years earlier but abandoned before things could get too serious. Janine has moved on with her life and is now casually dating Dr. Pierre Gerard (a very serious Christopher Lee), but finds old feelings resurfacing once again now that Georges is back in the picture. Problems arise when Ludwig shows up for their annual operation and, having suffered a crippling stroke, is unable to perform the necessary surgery. Ludwig, as well as Police Inspector LeGris (Francis De Wolff) are also curious about a string of missing models left in Georges wake, including his most recent lover, Margo (Delphi Lawrence).

It's a pretty predictable story (scripted by Jimmy Sangster and based on a Barre Lyndon play that was already filmed in 1945 as THE MAN IN HALF MOON STREET), but as per Hammer Studio's usual, the whole thing looks great. Mostly set indoors, the turn-of-the-century Paris setting is fairly well established through art direction and costumes (certainly not the British and thick German accents). It's also very colorfully photographed (by Jack Asher) and nicely scored (by Richard Bennett), but it's really the solid cast that keeps the whole thing on track since this is very much a dialogue-driven film. Diffring (who'd previously acted in the failed TV pilot TALES OF FRANKENSTEIN for Hammer) does a great job as the conflicted, ageless doctor who ultimately only has his best own interests in mind. His fear of death is so consuming that it's maddening, and he doesn't care who is taken out in the process. Marle gives a wonderful supporting performances and Court is a warm and appealing heroine. Lee, on the other hand, is so uptight and stuffy in his atypical hero role that he's completely overshadowed by the other three stars. Michael Ripper also has a typically tiny role as a morgue attendant.

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A "European version" of the film was released overseas that featured a brief topless scene with Court, which may be the first instance of mainstream nudity filmed in the UK. Neither the video or DVD release (from Legend Films) contain the nude shot.

★★1/2

Girly (1969)

...aka: Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny and Girly

Directed by:

Freddie Francis

The popular idea of an entire deranged family (or surrogate family unit) seems to have really taken off in the 1970s with the release of such films as THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974) and THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977) and continues strong to this day. Before those, we had Jack Hill's wonderfully twisted SPIDER BABY (1964; released in 1968) and this equally bizarre British effort from renowned cinematographer and frequent genre director Freddie Francis. At a secluded manor, a joyous, very wealthy family of four; matriarch Mumsy (Ursula Howells), daughter Girly (Vanessa Howard), son Sonny (Howard Trevor) and housemaid Nanny (Pat Heywood), seem to shy away from normal household conventions. They believe in simple pleasures such as play time, knitting, trips to the park and zoo and tea in the afternoon; always opening their home to new "friends" along the way. The problem? They're all homicidal maniacs and the "friends" (usually bums, drunks or others whose disappearances may not be a priority to police) are eventually murdered when they wear out their welcome or threaten to leave! Into the home comes their latest guest, known only as New Friend (Michael Bryant), who is blamed for the death of his drunken date (Imogen Hassall) after a lethal (and non-accidental) fall from a playground slide. But New Friend isn't about to be "sent to the angels" without putting up a fight, and tries to manipulate the ladies in the house into turning on one another.

Based on the play Happy Family by Maisie Mosco (adapted for the screen by Brian Comport), this is a fairly original black comic horror film with effective performances, plenty of surprises and a very sick sense of humor. The shocking antics of the family are relayed with a very casual and nonchalant touch by the actors, which makes the humor all the more ghoulish. A good example is when Mum finds a head boiling in a pot on the stove and turns to her daughter, saying "Girly!" with that motherly tone a parent reserves for their child when they do or say something surprising, yet amusing. Another interesting touch (which is likely a homage to PEEPING TOM) is that Sonny films the murders, which the whole family watch later on as a normal family would their vacation videos.

All of the actors are good (Michael Ripper also has a throwaway cameo as a zookeeper), but the clear standout is little-known British actress Howard. As the provocative, emotionally-stunted Girly (a grown woman stuck at about age 7), Howard creates a character worth remembering; fluctuating between child-like innocent, finger-sucking jailbait seductress (a la LOLITA) and dangerous psychopath with astonishing ease. It's a shame that the attractive and clearly talented actress had such a short-lived career that lasted only about five years. Supposedly, she became disillusioned when several of her latest pictures (including this one and the 1971 psycho-thriller WHAT BECAME OF JACK AND JILL?) barely got released. She also appeared in BLOOD BEAST TERROR (1968), CORRUPTION (1968) and the TV-movie THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY (1973) before throwing in the towel, would go on to marry Oscar-winning producer Robert Chartoff (RAGING BULL, ROCKY) and start a family.

Released on video in the 1980s on the Prism label, GIRLY is unfortunately not on DVD as of yet. Scorpion Releasing have announced a 2010 release. If that happens, this will likely pick up a nice-sized and much-deserved cult following.

★★★

Undertaker, The (1988)

...aka: Death Merchant, The

Directed by:

Franco De Stefanino

The last hurrah for character actor Joe Spinell, who appeared in everything from THE GODFATHER (1972) and ROCKY (1976) to TAXI DRIVER (1976) and CRUISING (1980) yet remains best known to us horror buffs for producing, writing and starring in the gory 80s psycho flick MANIAC (1980). Spinell wanted to do a sequel to that film and even shot a 10-minute promo with Buddy Giovinazzo (COMBAT SHOCK) in 1986. While he and the director searched for funding, Joe appeared in a half dozen other films to help pay the bills. This was one of those... and it turned out to be his final film performance. After securing the funding for MANIAC 2, Spinell was found dead in his apartment in January 1989 of undetermined causes that people still speculate about to this day. But the question remains: Is THE UNDERTAKER an enjoyable final showcase for the late, great actor? I'd say yes and no. It's a cheap and uneven exploitation flick and Spinell certainly deserved better material than this, but it's also quite fun and I can't say that I was ever bored watching it. Spinell seems in pretty bad health throughout and some of his dialogue is unintelligible, but he does gets to sob a lot and do those great bug-eyed intense looks while killing, which will instantly bring MANIAC to mind.

Roscoe Holland (Spinell) is an undertaker who runs his own funeral parlor alongside his completely oblivious, borderline-senile wife Hazel (Martha Somoeman). Roscoe's also a serial killer who stalks, attacks and kills young women, indulging in necro fantasies with the corpses, which he keeps stored in a special room in the cellar. Roscoe's orphaned nephew Nicholas (Patrick Askin) has vague memories of being sexually abused as a child by his uncle and suspects he's up to no good. The only person he has to confide in is his anthropology professor, Pamela Hayes (Rebecca Yaron). When Nicholas gets too nosy, he's knocked out, gagged, tied up and kept prisoner in the celler and when he isn't heard from again, Pamela and her roommate Mandy (Susan Bachli) start doing some investigating of their own. Some detectives, led by Inspector Barry (William James Kennedy, who wrote this), are also on the case.

Sufficient amounts of blood and gore? Check. High body count? Check. Sex and nudity? Check. Moderately fast pace? Check. Thoroughly depraved psycho killer? Check. I'd say this B-grade slasher pretty much does what it's expected to do. The dialogue's a bit cheesy, but that's just part of the fun, and while the supporting cast is mostly amateurish, the actors are likable and natural enough not to annoy. The main problem is that all available prints of the film are in God awful condition. The one I saw looked like a third generation VHS dupe.

Strangely, enough footage was filmed to release this in two drastically different forms. This one, and one titled THE DEATH MERCHANT (which was released in 1991). In the latter, Spinell's character targets females who do aerobics and work out. Code Red announced they'd be releasing this on DVD in 2008, but it hasn't happened yet.

★★

Jiang tou (1975)

...aka: Black Magic

...aka: Gong tau

...aka: Hex

Directed by:

Meng Hua Ho

Handsome engineer Xu Nuo (Ti Lung) is busy at work on a new high rise construction job when he sparks the interest of young, pampered and obscenely wealthy widow Luo Yin (Tanny aka Tien Ni). Luo isn't the type of girl to take no for an answer and finds herself frustrated that she's unable to seduce Xu away from his kindly school teacher fiancee Quying (Lily Li). Luo also has an unwanted admirer of her own in Jiajie Lang (Lo Lieh), a small-time hood interested in both her beauty and her money. If things couldn't get messy enough, Jiajie decides to get a little help in winning over Luo by going to a backwoods black magician named Shan Jianmi (Ku Feng) who, for a high price, can cast life, death and love spells. After acquiring some of Luo's hair (which must be pulled out by the root) and her footprint cast in mud, a love spell is cast but it only temporarily works because Jiajie can't afford to pay for it. As a result, Jiajie has a death curse placed upon him. Luo, realizing the spells actually work, decides to have Shan place one on Xu for her, getting him to run away with her right after his marriage. She also can't resist putting a death curse on Xu's wife to get her out of the way. An equally powerful rival magician named Master Furong (Ku Wen Chung) is eventually called in to do battle with Shan.

It's fun, entertaining, colorful and manages to work in all kinds of assorted icky stuff. There are maggots, worms and snakes galore, plus gore, tongue-slicing, puking, burning decapitated heads, torn-out livers, bodies time-lapsing into dusty skeletons and a finale set atop the construction site featuring all manner of cheesy laser effects. And did I mention female spells require fresh breast milk that we actually get to see being squeezed out? Yep, that too. It's a Shaw Brothers Production; an atypical one at that, with soap opera dramatic and horror instead of martial arts. An unrelated "sequel" GOU HUN JIANG TOU (aka BLACK MAGIC II and originally released in the U.S. as REVENGE OF THE ZOMBIES) followed from the same director and featured most of the same cast.

Image Entertainment put out a "Shaw Brothers Special Edition" DVD in 2006; which is a top quality print.

★★1/2

Ghana Movie Posters

Just stumbled upon these gems (some possibly from the book Extreme Canvas: Movie Poster Paintings from Ghana and Ghanavision) and figured I'd share...

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In the 1980s video cassette technology made it possible for “mobile cinema” operators in Ghana to travel from town to town and village to village creating temporary cinemas. The touring film group would create a theatre by hooking up a TV and VCR onto a portable generator and playing the films for the people to see. In order to promote these showings, artists were hired to paint large posters of the films (usually on used canvas flour sacks). The artists were given the artistic freedom to paint the posters as they desired - often adding elements that weren’t in the actual films, or without even having seen the movies. When the posters were finished they were rolled up and taken on the road (note the heavy damages). The “mobile cinema” began to decline in the mid-nineties due to greater availability of television and video; as a result the painted film posters were substituted for less interesting/artistic posters produced on photocopied paper. (Author: Assemblyman-eph)

Alien (1979; Ridley Scott)
Looks inspired by the American ad art for Alien: Resurrection.

Child's Play (1988; Tom Holland)

Eaten Alive (1980; Umberto Lenzi)

Evil Dead II (1987; Sam Raimi)

The First Power (1990; Robert Resnikoff)

Not sure what entry this is, but clearly influenced by Part III's poster.

Friday the 13th, Part VII: The New Blood (1988; John Carl Buechler)

Hell Serpent: Zuma II (1987; Ben Yalung)

Night of the Demons (1987; Kevin S. Tenney)
May have been used for the 1994 sequel instead, despite title.

Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986; Brian Gibson)

Re-Animator (1985; Stuart Gordon)

The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988; Wes Craven)

Spirits (1990; Fred Olen Ray)

The Hidden (1987; Jack Sholder)

The Kiss (1988; Pen Densham)

The Return of Swamp Thing (1989; Jim Wynorski)

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There are many more where these came from, but they're either for movies too recent to be covered here or films whose titles I'm unfamiliar with. Undoubtedly, films were retitled there, but I haven't been able to match some of the art with the movies. If I can find additional information to help match up the other posters, I'll add them on here.

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Look What's Happened to Rosemary's Baby (1976) (TV)

...aka: Look What Happened to Rosemary's Baby

...aka: Rosemary's Baby II

Directed by:

Sam O'Steen

I tried my best to put Polanski's 1968 masterpiece in the back of my mind before viewing this long-forgotten follow-up, but even accepting this on its own terms and within its own network TV limitations, it's still a complete failure as both a sequel and a stand alone film. Badly written, badly acted, horribly dated and completely lacking in both suspense and chills, it's no wonder no one's ever bothered resurrecting this unnecessary, embarrassing relic. Eight years after the events in the original, Rosemary Woodhouse (an annoyingly shrill, consistently hysterical Patty Duke) is still living in the same apartment house raising "Adrian" in the company of the same coven of elderly Satanists headed by Roman (Ray Milland) and Minnie (Ruth Gordon) Castevet. She flees with her child, takes refuge in a church during a storm, hops on a bus the next day and heads out west toward Hollywood to try to get some money from her estranged, backstabbing husband Guy (George Maharis). While on a layover in Nevada, Adrian (or as she calls him, Andrew) kills two children who pick on him. Rest stop whore Marjean (Tina Louise) helps them hide, but is possessed and tricks Rosemary onto a hell bus, which conveniently removes her from the rest of the movie.

Years later, a now twenty-something Adrian (Stephen McHattie) is still living with Marjean, who now owns a successful casino. Adrian's an annoying moody rebel who's always in trouble with the cops for speeding in his black sports car and wants to be a rock singer (groan). On his twenty-first birthday, Uncle Roman and Aunt Minnie show up with some cultists and give Adrian some strange concoction to drink. He then jumps up on stage and starts gyrating around like a spandex-clad Jim Morrison with his face painted up like a mime (!) Outside, Adrian's best bud Peter (David Huffman) is killed when Guy picks up a fallen electric wire off the ground and electrocutes him. Adrian collapses and, blamed for the death of his friend, awakens in a hospital for the criminally insane where a doctor named Ellen (Donna Mills) tries to help him overcome his amnesia with hypnosis sessions. The film then seems to turn into a love story (complete with a ridiculous 'bird woman' hallucination cut in during their little hotel romp... don't ask!), which is actually little more than a cheap set-up the predictable twist ending.

It's divided into three segments; "The Book of Rosemary," "The Book of Adrian" and "The Book of Andrew;" getting progressively sillier as it goes along. The subtle creepiness and expertly modulated suspense of the original is completely absent here, the director gets uneven work from usually dependable actors and employs clumsy voice-overs from various characters and screenwriter Anthony Wilson attempts to ape the black humor of the first and fails miserably. Great actors Milland and Gordon, for instance, are given little to do other than sit around and bicker ("Would you shut up!") and during most of the cult scenes background extras annoying chant "Hail Satan... Hail Adrian... Hail Satan" over and over again. Third-billed Broderick Crawford appears in just one scene as a sheriff.

How many sequels to extremely famous horror films can you name that have never been released to either VHS or DVD in their home country? Obviously someone out there would prefer to keep this one buried, and I can't say I blame them. In Europe (the UK I think), it was released on the Arena label during the 1980s, but other than that I'm not aware of any other releases.

★1/2

Strangeness, The (1980)

Directed by:

Melanie Anne Phillips

A young couple are killed after an earthquake unleashes something inside an abandoned, multiple-level mine. Later, rumors circulate around about some gold possibly being located inside, prompting wealthy contractor Myron Hemmings (Rolf Theison) to organize an expedition to see if the mine is worth sinking money into. Writer Dan Flanders (Mark Sawicki), his photographer wife Cindy (Terri Berland), grizzled Aussie spelunker Morgan (Keith Hurt), geologist Angela Platt (Diane Borcyckowski), guide Geoff Calvert (Dan Lunham) and his assistant Tony Ruggles (Chris Huntley) are all on board. The seven descend into the mine and their rope is mysteriously cut, trapping them inside. Unfortunately, the greedy contractor didn't bother to inform anyone at his company about the expedition, so no one knows they're even there to come to the rescue. As they search for a way out, there are mysterious and powerful gusts of wind and a slimy, tentacled creature (which has something to do with an Indian legend) shows up to pick them off one-by-one.

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A very low-budget, very uneven regional production, but one with some merit. The mine setting; a labyrinth of dark catacombs illuminated only by lanterns, helmet lights and flares, creates an effective horror atmosphere that becomes increasingly more claustrophobic as the film goes along. In that regard, and the general idea of people trapped deep underground due to a selfish, foolish member amongst them, the film reminds one of the recent hit THE DESCENT (2005). Also making this worth a look are some good stop-motion special effects (created by Ernest D. Farino and actors Huntley and Sawicki) used to bring the monster to life... Nevermind the fact it essentially looks like a giant, mutant female reproduction organ! Farino also contributed some great opening credits to the film and I was actually taken by surprise at the order in which the characters are picked off. Unfortunately, some other important areas are less successful and keep this from reaching its true potential. With better dialogue, more convincing acting and tighter pacing this would have been a fine sleeper.

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Filmed in 1980 but not released until five years later, it's one of just a handful of 80s horrors directed by a woman, who ironically used the male alias "David Michael Hillman" and also co-wrote, co-produced, did the score and edited. The original American VHS release was through TransWorld Entertainment. Code Red released it on DVD in 2009.

★★