I Was a Teenage Frankenstein (1957)

... aka: Des filles pour Frankenstein (Girls for Frankenstein)

... aka: El hijo de Frankenstein (The Son of Frankenstein)

... aka: La strage di Frankenstein (The Massacre of Frankenstein)

... aka: Teenage Frankenstein

Directed by:

Herbert L. Strock

Producer Herman Cohen had a big hit on his hands with I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF (1957) in the summer of 1957, which reputedly made 2 million on a budget of just 82,000 dollars. He retained much of the same team and then immediately went into production on this follow-up, which he also co-wrote with frequent collaborator Aben Kandel. So just how rushed was the production? Well, it began shooting in October 1957 and was in theaters just in time for Thanksgiving, a mere five months after Werewolf debuted. If that wasn't impressive enough, the same folks decided to tackle vampires while they were at it and made Blood of Dracula around the same time, which focused on a teenage female bloodsucker. The three films then got mixed and matched as double features over the next few years. It was all about catering directly to the until-then-ignored teen demographic, who were flocking in droves to newly-established drive-in theaters.

Whit Bissell, the same man responsible for transforming Michael Landon into a wolf man, returns in an almost identical role as yet another untrustworthy adult / unscrupulous mad scientist preying on yet another naïve teen. Bissell's character this time out is Professor Frankenstein, an English academic (curiously lacking any kind of British accent) whose lofty career ambitions far outweigh any moral or ethical crises of conscience. Temporarily living in the U. S. and working the college circuit as a guest lecturer, the professor's ranting and raving about finding a way to graft whole human limbs from the dead onto the bodies of the living brings skepticism from his peers. He concludes: "I'll hold to my beliefs and some day, very soon possibly, I'll prove them so conclusively that even cynics like you all over the world will be convinced!" And that he does! As a descendant of the notorious Baron Frankenstein, who'd expect anything less?

Frankenstein manages to coerce / blackmail his supportive colleague and friend, physicist Dr. Karlton (Robert Burton), into helping him to construct an entire human using the body parts stolen from cadavers. But not just any body will do. After all, he's well aware of what happened to his ancestor because he wasn't too particular about where he got his spare limbs from. Nope. This Frankenstein believes in a theory called "selective breeding." After all, "If you breed morons, you beget morons." He only wants the finest of body parts from strong, able-bodied young men or, as he calls them, "the ingredients of youth." A "worm out body inhabited by an overtaxed brain" simply won't suffice. Right as Frankenstein is laying out his master plan, the sound of car brakes and a loud bang are heard coming from outside. There's been a terrible car accident. And the drivers were teenagers. And one of those bodies was thrown from the vehicle. And the body that was thrown from the vehicle happens to belong to a strapping, muscular young man. Whatta coincidence!

Despite a large crowd gathering at the scene, the professor and Karlton somehow manage to scoop the boy's corpse up and carry it back home undetected. Thankfully, Frankenstein's already prepared for such an incident. Down in his basement, he has what he calls his "personal morgue;" a laboratory complete with cold lockers to store bodies, a temperature control that he keeps the place at near-freezing temperatures to help preserve corpses and an alligator pit (!!) to dispose of discarded body parts. But Frankenstein will need plenty of time. After all, the car crash victim has had his head crushed in, his face mangled beyond recognition and both of his hands plus a leg injured beyond repair. Soon after, another "Whatta coincidence!" moment - a plane crash killing star athletes - makes the necessary body parts available. Well, available if one is willing to do a little grave digging and corpse thievery, which our determined doctor Is more than willing to do! A couple of arms from a champion wrestler and a leg from a star football player later and the human jigsaw is complete.

In order to get the peace and quiet needed, the professor has asked a former assistant, lovely university hospital nurse Margaret (Phyllis Coates), to come to stay at his home and act as his secretary while he's working. She's to handle all of his business and personal affairs, keep any people / distractions away and not ask any questions about what he's doing. And when he's through, he plans on taking her back to England with him after his visa expires and marrying her. However, the relationship rapidly deteriorates whenever Margaret, ya know, starts expecting things. He tries to pacify her by taking her to Lovers Lane but she then begins snooping around his off-limits lab, which puts her in danger.

After the "monster" (Gary Conway) is revived, he also starts to cause the professor problems. Though he's obedient at first and patient through his exercise regiments, speech therapy ("Speak! You've got a civil tongue in your head! I know you have because I sewed it back myself!"), vitamin shots and "electrical treatments," he soon tires of being locked away in the basement and desires companionship. There's still one major problem with him: Though he may have the body of an Adonis, he has the face of Joseph Merrick. Frankenstein uses that to his advantage and informs his creation that he'll only fix his face if he remains obedient to him. Still, the monster can't resist venturing out of the lab. He sneaks into town late one night and strangles a screaming blonde bombshell to death after busting through her window.

Showing that he's willing to go to great lengths, including murder at his master's behest, the creature is finally allowed his new face. The professor is even nice enough to take him to Lovers Lane and let him pick out the one he wants. The two stumble upon handsome teenager Bob (Conway again) and his date necking in a car. The creature knocks out the girl and then they kill and decapitate Bob; bringing his head back to the lab for a quickie full-face transplant that works out surprisingly well. His experiment now complete, Professor Frankenstein then plots to return to the UK with his creature... only he plans on first disassembling him for easier transport! As that's going on, a pair of coppers (George Lynn, John Cliff) investigate the murders. The last couple of minutes are in color.

Unimaginatively shot, lifelessly directed and very talky, this mildly lurid, pseudo-camp effort has to default back to its cast to provide most of the entertainment value. Good thing then that at least a few of the stars deliver. Prolific character actor Bissell is given a rare (his only?) top billed lead role and offers up a cold, calculating, arrogant and completely unfeeling / sociopathic Frankenstein. Upon seeing his newly-revived creation cry, instead of offering an sympathetic ear, his first instinct is to exclaim "Even his tear ducts work!" and how he sets up one character's demise is extremely mean-spirited and more than just a little sadistic! While Bissell is given some hokey dialogue, his dry and dead-serious delivery helps make it all work. His version of Frankenstein is also notable as being entirely detestable... There is NOTHING even remotely likable about this asshole!

Conway, in either his first or second film (he was also in Corman's Viking Women and the Sea Serpent the same year), offers up an earnest performance as the creature. Prior to acting, he got by working as a near-nude model in "physique" magazines, which probably functioned mostly as gay porn back then. A year after appearing in this, he married Miss America 1957, Marian McKnight, and the two are still together to this day... over 60 years later. Now there's a love story for ya. Conway would sort-of reprise his role in the same company's HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER (1958) in the same Phillip Scheer make-up.

This played theatrically on an AIP double bill with Blood of Dracula (re-titled Blood is My Heritage in the UK). Strangely, and unlike most other American genre films from this time, this one's never been given a legitimate DVD release and I'm not entirely sure why that is. There's a rumor that the current owner, former actress Susan Hart (widow of AIP co-founder James H. Nicholson), is holding out for more money, but it's hard to tell. The only official U.S. home video release I'm aware of is a 1991 VHS from RCA / Columbia.

★★

Target Earth (1954)

... aka: Invasion del mundo (Invasion of the World)

... aka: Invasores de otros mundos (Invaders from Other Worlds)

... aka: Objectif Terre (Objective Earth)

... aka: Rumbo a lo desconocido (Heading to the Unknown)

Directed by:

Sherman A. Rose

Having perhaps downed one too many sleeping pills the night before, Nora King (Kathleen Crowley) wakes up in a daze late in the morning. She cracks open the window for some fresh air. It's strangely quiet outside, especially since this is set in Chicago. How about some noise from the radio? She's unable to get any music to play. A splash of water in the face? The water's off. After getting dressed, she walks down the hallway of her boarding house and knocks on various doors but no one answers. After venturing inside one of the rooms, she not only realizes that no one is there but that their electric, gas and water have been turned off, though a warm breakfast is still sitting on the table uneaten. Nora ventures outside. There are no cars on the road, nor pedestrians walking around. She heads straight to the usually-bustling business district of the city, yet no one's there either. What happened to everyone?

Nora eventually stumbles across somebody: A woman... Only she's lying dead on the sidewalk. So it comes as no surprise that when she finally does run across a living, breathing human, her first instinct is to run. She's chased down by the man, who corners her in an alley. After he promises not to hurt her and then slaps her in the face a few seconds later (!), he introduces himself as Frank Brooks (Richard Denning). Frank informs her that he was passing through town, drank a little too much, was knocked unconscious, robbed, dumped in an alley and didn't even come to until around noon. Whatever had occurred, the two somehow managed to sleep through it.

Rightfully assuming they missed some kind of city-wide evacuation, Nora and Frank break into an electronics store trying to get their hands on a battery-operated radio, but aren't able to find anything of use. Also, none of the cars left in the city are in running condition because the distributor caps have all been removed. They stumble upon a few other stragglers, starting with tumultuous, good-timin' couple Vicki (Virginia Grey) and Jim (Richard Reeves), who've decided to celebrate the end of the world by "whoopin' it up" and treating themselves to a restaurant's fine wine collection. They're joined (briefly at least) by the frantic Charles Otis (Mort Marshall) and everyone tries to figure out just what's going on.

You know how anytime someone wants to parody old sci-fi films, they always trot out one of those clunky cardboard box robots that sways from side to side as it walks? Well, the fiends seen here are exactly what they're parodying! It's definitely hard to feel wonder, fright, menace or much of anything else when we first lay eyes on these alien robot invaders. But this is an early 1950s low-budget science fiction film, so you really have two options here:... 1. Roll with it, overlook the cheap design (or accept it as part of the charm) and focus on the characters and story, or 2. Press stop and walk, crawl, run or waddle away. After the robot zaps Charles with its "cathode ray" laser, the other four duck into a hotel and decide to get a room for the night. Why not the deluxe bridal suite? After all, it's FOC!

The first 30 minutes, when this is focusing exclusively on the survivors trapped in the city, is the best sustained part of the film. Afterward, it decides to break up scenes with these characters with scenes involving the military and a bunch of guys sitting around at desks discussing what's going on and it all becomes a lot less tense. The air force, who have spotted "several hundred" of the robots prowling around (though we never see more than one on screen at a time), send in a bunch of bomber jets (cue stock footage inserts) and the aliens promptly blast them all right out of the sky. Lt. General Wood (Arthur Space) and chief research scientist Tom (Whit Bissell) discuss whipping out the bigger guns, namely guided missiles and atomic artillery. If worse comes to worse, they may have to level the entire city to neutralize the treat. They do get a break when a deactivated robot is located and brought back to the research lab. If they can discover what makes it tick, they may also be able to discover what their weaknesses are...

Though the origin of the robots is in question, both the military and Frank (who had science fiction buff friends in college) theorize they've come here from Venus. Why Venus? Well, because it has clouds, which means oxygen and hydrogen and thus it's "...the only planet that might be capable of supporting human life." Apparently this was made well before the general scientific consensus was established that Venus' atmospheric pressure is comparable to being 3000 feet down in the ocean and the surface temperature of the planet is hot enough to melt lead!

There's a lot of talk and precious little action here but what elevates this a bit above the norm is the likable cast and the enjoyable characterizations. Nora is revealed to have attempted suicide because she's been unable to get over her husband's death in a car accident, though she's finding a renewed interest in life thanks to the relationship she forms with Frank. The hot-n-cold romance between Vicki and Jim has been a bumpy ride full of ups and down for many years. Though the two haven't settled down or bothered getting married, the stress of the situation makes them realize they probably should start taking things a bit more seriously. Grey gives the standout performance as the hard-drinking, sarcastic Vicki and also gets most of the film's funny lines, like when she smirks "I always did like breakfast in bed" when a character offers to fetch her a warm beer in the morning. Added complications arise when Davis (Robert Roark), a dangerous, armed escaped convict / murderer stumbles upon them and plans to make them all act as a human shield to help him escape from the city.

Made on a budget of 85,000 dollars (apparently not enough to afford making more than one robot!), this was one of only a couple directorial credits for Rose, who otherwise worked almost exclusively editing cheap westerns. However, right behind him are a number of others who became genre heavy-hitters in the following years, starting with Herman Cohen. This appears to have been the first genre film produced through his namesake company.

The screenplay is credited to William Raynor (WITHOUT WARNING!; PHANTOM FROM SPACE) and was based on an original screenplay by James H. Nicholson, who'd team up Samuel Z. Arkoff to form the invaluable American International Pictures just a few years later, and Wyott Ordung, who'd just written the bad movie cult favorite Robot Monster and directed the early Corman film MONSTER FROM THE OCEAN FLOOR this same year. All of these were based in part on the novella "Deadly City" by Paul W. Fairman, who wrote it using the pen name "Ivar Jorgenson." The short novel was first published in the March 1953 issue of If: Worlds of Science Fiction (a magazine that Fairman also edited). He also wrote the short story "The Cosmic Frame," which would be adapted twice: as INVASION OF THE SAUCER MEN in 1957 and as THE EYE CREATURES in 1965.

VCI handled the initial home video distribution for this title, releasing it on both VHS and DVD. There was also a "Producer's Edition" laserdisc release from The Roan Group. Since 1954 offers such slim pickins for genre films, this will be debuting at #3 on my Top 10 list for the year, which is the highest-ranking first time viewing I've had here in years!

★★1/2