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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Diamond Ninja Force (1988) [copyright 1986]

... aka: Ghost Ninja(s)
... aka: Justice Ninjas
... aka: L'enfer des ninjas (Hell Ninjas)
... aka: Ninja Boxing Force
... aka: Ninja Kuvveti (Ninja Force)
... aka: Ninja Mission
... aka: Ninja Warriors

Directed by:
Godfrey Ho
Feng-Pan Yao (uncredited)

Another of Godfrey Ho's cut-and-paste jobs for Joseph Lai's IFD Films and Arts company, this takes a preexisting Taiwanese Poltergeist knock-off and adds a new ninja story line to that, creating a horribly-edited and dubbed clusterfuck of utter confusion, though this one is slightly more coherent than many other Ho movies I've seen. The newly-added footage centers around Gordon (Richard Harrison), an incognito ninja master vacationing in Hong Kong with his wife Lori (Harrison's real-life wife Maria Francesca). Gordon is part of an elite group of fighters called the Diamond Ninja Force and has inherited the powers of the "Golden Ninja Warrior" that a group of bad guys want and will kill to get. A ninja assassin shows up at Gordon's home, makes goldfish leap from the bowl and then steps on one of them (?!) and then chain whips and murders Lori. Gordon vows to avenge her death, while the group of bad guys - led by Kogan ("Donald Kong" / Tao Chiang) - are intent on reviving the "Black Ninja Clan;" who were all killed off by the good Diamond Ninjas a century earlier.







Meanwhile, this keeps cutting back to the crazy (and trashy) Taiwanese footage and they do their best to try to meld the two plots together. A construction crew unearth a bunch of human remains in an unmarked mass grave. Billionaire real estate tycoon Vernon Wong, owner of Wong Properties Limited, pays them off to shut up about it and keep building. He's later given a fatal heart attack after a ghostly encounter in his limo. Soon after, Vernon's daughter Fanny ("Yolanda Chang") arrives in town from America with her architect husband George ("Curtis Yao") and bratty young son Bobo (yes, Bobo... and he's hilariously dubbed by an adult female) to take up where her dad left off. They move into Vernon's seaside mansion and face a curse and several ghosts due to her father's unethical activities.







The new English dub and added footage makes the discovered remains those of the Black Ninjas and the bad guys intent on getting Fanny's land so they can revive the fallen warriors. To do so, Kogan pays a sorceress named Ghost Ninja three million dollars to unleash her "devil magic" and make the home haunted so they'll cave in and sell. Fanny keeps seeing a black cat and several female ghosts clad in white, finds a severed living head in a laundry basket and has visions of frogs, snakes and mice. Flowers wilt in a matter of seconds, the image of an old woman appears in a mirror, kitchen utensils start flying around and her bath is spoiled when a zombie hand clamps down on her shoulder. During one scene, Fanny and George have sex while a horny young female ghost watches, strips and caresses her breasts. The ghost girl later decides to step in and help out when the the semi-frigid wife refuses to put out for her hubby.



This Garfield phone featured in numerous Ho movies has a cult following all its own.




In between all that, Ninja Master Gordon slaps on a bright red ninja suit and heavy eyeliner and takes out each of Kogan's (mostly Caucasian) henchmen; killing them off in scenes utilizing a samurai sword, a kama, chains and throwing stars. Unfortunately, all of these scenes are over in a matter of seconds before they even threaten to become exciting and it's mostly just a bunch of guys posing with their various weapons. The only battle that's given much choreography is the climactic battle between Gordon and Kogan and even that isn't much.







I tried to uncover the identity of the original Taiwanese film but was unable to.* It may have either been unfinished or unreleased - either that or just released in Taiwan and nowhere else -  as there is no evidence of an existing film from the early 80s with a similar plot featuring the same actors. The two known cast members in the original film are Dan Yang, who plays a goofball named Firecracker who gets scared off by ghosts and maggots pouring out of a bathtub faucet, and Yee Yuen (billed as "Yick Yuen" and listed over on IMDb as "Yi Yuen") as an exorcist named Magic Chan. Seeing how it borrows the 'haunted house on a burial mound' idea from Poltergeist and the copyright for Diamond is 1986, the original film had to have been shot some time between 1982 and 1985. Oh, and did I mention this film was issued on home video under about a gazillion different titles, such as...

* I've since discovered the original Taiwanese film is Feng-Pan Yao's DEMON'S APARTMENT (1985; aka Ghost Rapist) and reviewed that here separately.







The American VHS release came courtesy of Trans World Entertainment, who released several other Ho films. Videoasia then released it on DVD (a shoddy VHS transfer as per their usual) under the title Ghost Ninja (well, actually it says Ghost Ninjas on the box) on their set "Tales of Voodoo: Volume 2." The Videoasia release also comes with the Indonesian film Primitives (1980); which rips off Italian jungle cannibal films.

★1/2

The 2015 Orloks - 1978 Results

Started many moons ago by Prof-Hieronymos-Grost, the Orloks were a yearly poll on the IMDb horror boards where users submitted Top 5 lists of their favorite horror movies for each year. All of the results were then tabulated to come up with a definitive list of the year's most-liked genre offerings. Alas, when the good Professor decided to depart the boards years ago, the awards went with him... that is until now. IMDb-er seth_yeah - taking on responsibilities as both host and calculator - has decided to bring back this long-standing tradition in 2015, and now the awards will have a permanent place right here on this blog. Scoring is rather simple and done on a weighted system where first choice receives 5 points, second choice 4 points, etc., with a +1 bonus then awarded to the #1 selection on each list. IMDb release years are being used, but it is left up to voters to determine what they may or may not consider horror (which may be in conflict with IMDb's genre labeling system). If you'd like to participate, head on over to the IMDb HORROR BOARDS to vote! So without any further ado, the results...

___________________________________________________________________________

1978
Top 5
* * * * * * * * * *
1. Dawn of the Dead
Italy, USA / 105 points / George A. Romero
* * * * * * * * * *
2. Halloween
USA / 101 points / John Carpenter
* * * * * * * * * *
3. Invasion of the Body Snatchers
USA / 33 points / Philip Kaufman
* * * * * * * * * *
4. Magic
USA / 19 points / Richard Attenborough
* * * * * * * * * *
5. I Spit on Your Grave (Day of the Woman)
USA / 15 points / Meir Zarchi

___________________________________________________________________________

Making the Top 10:

6. (tie) Les raisins de la mort (The Grapes of Death) / France / 14 points / Jean Rollin
6. (tie) Long Weekend / Australia / 14 points / Colin Eggleston
6. (tie) Piranha / USA / 14 points / Joe Dante
7. Blue Sunshine / USA / 11 points / Jeff Lieberman
8. Damien: Omen II / USA / 10 points / Don Taylor
9. (tie) Panna a netvor (The Virgin and the Monster) / Czechoslovakia / 9 points / Juraj Herz
9. (tie) Toolbox Murders, The / USA / 9 points / Dennis Donnelly
10. Shout, The / UK / 7 points / Jerzy Skolimowski

___________________________________________________________________________

Others receiving votes:

- Ai no borei (Empire of Passion / France, Japan / Nagisa Ôshima
- Alien Factor, The / USA / Don Dohler
- As Filhas do Fogo (Daughters of Fire) / Brazil / Walter Hugo Khouri
- Bilbao / Spain / Bigas Luna
- El huerto del Francés (The Frenchman's Garden) / Spain / Paul Naschy
- Fury, The / USA / Brian De Palma
- House of the Dead, The (Alien Zone) / USA / Sharron Miller
- It Lives Again / USA / Larry Cohen
- Jaws 2 / USA / Jeannot Szwarc
- Jennifer / USA / Brice Mack
- La montagna del dio cannibale (Mountain of the Cannibal God) / Italy / Sergio Martino
- La visita del vicio (The Coming of Sin) / Spain / José Ramón Larraz
- Mafu Cage, The / USA / Karen Arthur
- Manitou, The / USA / William Girdler
- Medusa Touch, The / France, UK / Jack Gold
- Osou! (Attack!) / Japan / Yasuharu Hasebe
- Patrick / Australia / Richard Franklin
- Redeemer: Son of Satan!, The (Class Reunion Massacre) / USA / Constantine S. Gochis
- Salinnabileul ggotneun yeoja (Woman After a Killer Butterfly) / South Korea / Ki-young Kim
- Someone's Watching Me! / USA [TV] / John Carpenter
- Terror / UK / Norman J. Warren
- Warlords of Atlantis (Warlords of the Deep) / UK / Kevin Connor
- Within the Woods / USA [short] / Sam Raimi
- World Beyond, The / USA [TV] / Noel Black
- Yaru! (Raping!) / Japan / Yasuharu Hasebe
___________________________________________________________________________

Links here will be connected when the time comes.

< Back to 1977                    Continue to 1979 >

The 2015 Orloks - 1965 Results

Started many moons ago by Prof-Hieronymos-Grost, the Orloks were a yearly poll on the IMDb horror boards where users submitted Top 5 lists of their favorite horror movies for each year. All of the results were then tabulated to come up with a definitive list of the year's most-liked genre offerings. Alas, when the good Professor decided to depart the boards years ago, the awards went with him... that is until now. IMDb-er seth_yeah - taking on responsibilities as both host and calculator - has decided to bring back this long-standing tradition in 2015, and now the awards will have a permanent place right here on this blog. Scoring is rather simple and done on a weighted system where first choice receives 5 points, second choice 4 points, etc., with a +1 bonus then awarded to the #1 selection on each list. IMDb release years are being used, but it is left up to voters to determine what they may or may not consider horror (which may be in conflict with IMDb's genre labeling system). If you'd like to participate, head on over to the IMDb HORROR BOARDS to vote! So without any further ado, the results...

_________________________________________________________________________________

1965
Top 5
* * * * * * * * * *
1. Repulsion
UK / 85 points / Roman Polanski
* * * * * * * * * *
2. Terrore nello spazio (Planet of the Vampires)
Italy / 43 points / Mario Bava
* * * * * * * * * *
3. Amanti d'oltretomba (Nightmare Castle)
Italy / 24 points / Mario Caiano
* * * * * * * * * *
4. (tie) Il boia scarlatto (Bloody Pit of Horror)
Italy, USA / 18 points / Massimo Pupillo
* * * * * * * * * *
4. (tie) The Skull
UK / 18 points / Freddie Francis
* * * * * * * * * *
5. Dr. Terror's House of Horrors
UK / 17 points / Freddie Francis
_________________________________________________________________________________

Making the Top 10:

6. I Saw What You Did / USA / 13 points / William Castle
7. (tie) Nanny, The / UK / 10 points / Seth Holt
7, (tie) Fanatic (Die! Die! My Darling!) / UK / 10 points / Silvio Narizzano
8. (tie) Cien gritos de terror (100 Cries of Terror) / Mexico / 9 points / Ramón Obón
8. (tie) Die, Monster, Die! / UK, USA / 9 points / Daniel Haller
9. (tie) La donna del lago (The Lady of the Lake) / Italy / 6 points / Luigi Bazzoni and Franco Rossellini
9. (tie) Rekopis znaleziony w Saragossie (The Saragossa Manuscript) / Poland / 6 points / Wojciech Has
10. (tie) 5 tombe per un medium (Terror-Creatures from the Grave) / Italy, USA / 4 points / Massimo Pupillo
10. (tie) Fool Killer, The / Mexico, USA / 4 points / Servando González
10. (tie) House of the Black Death / USA / 4 points / Harold Daniels and Jerry Warren
10. (tie) La vendetta di Lady Morgane (Lady Morgan's Vengeance) / Italy / 4 points / Massimo Pupillo

_________________________________________________________________________________

Others receiving votes:

- Beach Girls and the Monster, The / USA / Jon Hall
- Color Me Blood Red / USA / Herschell Gordon Lewis
- Compartiment tueurs (The Sleeping Car Murder) / France / Costa-Gavras
- Curse of the Voodoo (Voodoo Blood Death) / UK, USA / Lindsay Shonteff
- Dark Intruder / USA / Harvey Hart
- Evil Brain from Outer Space / Japan, USA / Koreyoshi Akasaka, Teruo Ishii and Akira Mitsuwa
- Furankenshutain tai chitei kaijû Baragon (Frankenstein Conquers the World) / Japan / Ishirô Honda
- Il mostro di Venezia (The Embalmer) / Italy / Dino Tavella
- Kaijû daisensô (Invasion of Astro-Monster) / Japan / Ishirô Honda
- Le vampire de Düsseldorf (The Secret Killer) / France, Italy, Spain / Robert Hossein
- Libido / Italy / Ernesto Gastaldi and Vittorio Salerno
- Monster a Go-Go / USA / Herschell Gordon Lewis and Bill Rebane
- Morianerna (Morianna) / Sweden / Arne Mattsson
- Two on a Guillotine / USA / William Conrad
- Yotsuya kaidan (Illusion of Blood) / Japan / Shirô Toyoda
_________________________________________________________________________________

Links here will be connected when the time comes.

< Back to 1964                    Continue to 1966 >

Monday, February 23, 2015

Capture of Bigfoot, The (1979)

... aka: Big Foot - Die Rache des Jägers (Big Foot - Revenge of the Hunter)
... aka: La leyenda del Yeti (The Legend of the Yeti)
... aka: Legend of Bigfoot, The

Directed by:
Bill Rebane

♪  Like the timber-lined hard woods... They give way to the spruce and pine... So it is and so it shall be... That every living thing has its place and its time. ♪

Somewhere in the snow-covered mountains of Northern Wisconsin, a pair of redneck trappers capture a small, unfamiliar animal that "smells like decaying flesh." Their joy doesn't last too long as something angry and much bigger shows up to kill one of them and seriously injure the other. The surviving man is rushed off to the hospital and only manages to mumble that his attacker was some kind of "critter" before croaking. A local sheriff (Wally Flaherty) thinks a pack of wolves or a bear may be responsible, but recent sightings of Bigfoot / Abominable Snowman -like beasts, plus a local Indian legend affirming such rumors, prompt superstitious townsfolk to take matters into their own hands. Two armed posses, one good, one evil, are organized and set out into the woods. The former are simply interested in seeing if the fabled animal even exists and the latter hopes to capture it and make money off its discovery.







The Good - Nice guy game warden Dave Garrett (Stafford Morgan) is put in the middle of things by authorities who wants answers. He's helped in his quest by veteran local hunter Jake (George 'Buck' Flower), wise old Indian Daniels (Nelson C. Sheppo) and a little kid named Jimmy (John Eimerman) who's the kid brother of his waitress girlfriend Karen (Katherine Hopkins), a woman whose presence in the film is the biggest mystery of all since she's given nothing of interest to do.

The Bad - Greedy mine owner Marvin Olsen (Richard Kennedy) is the type of heavy who maniacally laughs as he describes his plans and shouts things like "Nobody, NOBODY, is gonna deprive me of what is miiiiine!" So what is his? Well, he believes the Bigfoot is his for some reason. Marv pays a couple of hunters - Jason (Otis Young) and Burt (John F. Goff) - ten thousand dollars to capture the beast. It isn't until his henchmen prove to be useless buffoons that he finally decides to get his hands dirty, which of course leads to his much-deserved downfall. After all, when you run over Buck Flower with a truck, you get what's coming to you.








The Not-So-Ugly - The Bigfoot here are a mythical and mostly docile creature called the "Arak." They were named after a local Indian tribe who held them in God-like regard because they supposedly stood watch over their burial grounds. The Arak are not really the fearsome-looking beasts one may expect. In fact, they're pretty cute with their fluffy, immaculately white fur and hairless, chimp-like faces. These guys only resort to violence when people bother them but have been given a bad rap in the area because they were falsely blamed for the deaths of seven geologists thirty years earlier in one of Marvin's mines. Unfortunately, we don't get to see nearly enough of these guys and the director could have done a much better job making us sympathize with them (as is clearly the intention), which would have turned this into a much better movie overall.







Things pretty much play out exactly like you expect them to aside from the occasional moment of (usually unintentional) hilarity and lots of sincere regional charm. The most memorable bit is a scene at a ski lodge bar where a light rock band with male and female vocalists perform a hilarious song called "Sensuous Tiger." ♪ It makes me hotter than fire. Sends me higher than a kite. Fills me with racing desire. On a blanket of snowy white. ♪ The girl in the red, tight, one piece, stitched-up jumper getting down to the song is Jeana Tomasina. She'd later become a Playboy Playmate, have a short-living acting career in B movies, become one of the ZZ Top girls in their music videos and then marry former Oakland A's pitcher Matt Keough, which eventually landed her a gig on the Real Housewives of Orange County reality series.



Much of this film includes carry-over from Rebane's previous film The Alpha Incident (1978). It too was co-written by Rebane and Ingrid Neumayer, filmed in Wisconsin and starred Morgan, Flower and Goff. Rebane was also the producer, editor, cinematographer (as "Ito") and one of the camera operators and his wife, Barbara J. Rebane, also wore many hats on this production. The baby Bigfoot is played by Randolph Rebane, who I'm guessing is Bill and Barb's son. After its theatrical release, this was issued on VHS here in the States by Active Home Video and then fell into the grubby paws of Troma, who've probably made their money back on it by including it on numerous cheap DVD sets.

★★
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