Berserker (1987)

... aka: Berserker: The Nordic Curse

... aka: Ôkami Otoko Basâkâ (Werewolf Berserker)

... aka: O Vale Assassino (The Killer Valley)

Directed by:

Jef (Jefferson) Richard

"A true pioneer of the independent film movement..." opens the late director's self-penned IMDb bio. He goes on to state his credentials as a graduate of the Cambridge School of Broadcasting and the American Academy of Dramatic Arts, frequent collaborator of Matt Cimber and George "Buck" Flower, employee of Park City Utah's Sunn Classic Pictures and top indie film producer. While patting oneself on the back, especially when most people have never even heard of you before, can come off as delusional and arrogant, this guy more or less has the credits to back himself up. Usually as a production manager, assistant director or line producer, Richard worked on a whole host of films over a 30+ year period, starting with sleazy 70s offerings (ILSA, SHE WOLF OF THE SS, The Witch Who Came from the Sea), then moving up to medium budget genre films (Maniac Cop, Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat) and finally graduating to to bigger budgeted productions starring the likes of Kevin Costner, Sylvester Stallone, Benicio del Toro, Jack Nicholson and Kurt Russell. He also mentions meeting and working with Orson Welles, whom he considered an inspiration, and being part of Flower's touring repertory company The Inspiration Players, who put on "morality-based classical theatre in churches and schools;" a far cry from all of the exploitation film work the two men would later find themselves involved in!

Listed almost as an afterthought toward the bottom of the bio are his two directorial credits; the PG-rated family adventure In Search of a Golden Sky (1984), which he co-wrote and co-produced with Flower (who also stars in the film) and this one, described as a "campy horror cult classic," which has become a synonym for "shitty" as of late. Flower is, unsurprisingly, also in this one and is pretty much the closest thing to a name draw in the mostly amateur cast.

You know the supposed horror movie trope that black people always die first in older slasher films? Well, let's put aside the fact that isn't even true (I personally think the real issue was black people being underrepresented in the genre) and focus on another group: Old folks! If I had to venture a guess, I'd say that far more seniors, regardless of skin color, died first in 80s horror / slasher flicks than any other group. Why? Well, there's probably more than one correct answer here...

I'd say the most obvious reason would be that producers usually wanted teenage or early 20-something leads because they assumed the primary audience was also going to be teenagers and early 20-somethings. And then there's the eye candy factor, as a lot of these films were expected to showcase photogenic, younger, up-and-coming actors. Older folks may be used as early cannon fodder so often because they're viewed as being weaker, more fragile and more physically compromised (poor mobility, hearing, eyesight, etc.), which makes them easy early targets. And then, granted the audience was indeed typically younger, they may get a laugh out of seeing an older person, perhaps a generic stand-in for a repressive authority figure or one with an outmoded or uncool way of thinking, die first. I'd say it's most likely a combination of all of the above.

So the moment we see ol' Homer and Edna (played by real-life couple Oscar Rowland and Beverly Rowland) trudging around at a campsite, we pretty much know they won't last too long. Celebrating their 40th anniversary with a camping trip, the two take a wrong turn while out walking, get lost in the woods after nightfall and are then slaughtered by what appears to be a bear. This 4-minute scene perfectly illustrates why experienced older performers should have been given more to do in these things. There's a moment when Mrs. Rowland breaks down into tears because she's so scared at being lost that's the single best bit of acting you'll see in the entire film. And then she's gone. And then they cart in a bunch of unlikeable, untalented younger actors we're stuck with for the rest of the film.

Trust me when I say that no cliché is left unturned in the introduction of the teen characters. There's awful hair metal music, lots of "dude" this and "dude" that, discussions about beer, pot and "humping" and the same stock teen characters we almost always see in these things. Receiving the most screen time is Josh Winter (Greg Dawson), a cocky, smart ass, obnoxious, jag-off-jock who counts belching, drunk driving, suddenly blaring his radio to startle others out of their sleep and losing his shit over the dumbest, most insignificant things among his favorite pastimes. Mike Stone (Joseph Alan Johnson, who was also in the slashers ICED and THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE) is the nice, level-headed, popular one, while Larry Fishman (Rodney Montague) is the nerdy "bookworm" who naturally brings along a book about the history of the place they're about to spend a week at. Someone needs to relay important plot information when the time arrives, eh?

As for the girls, let's just say 80s slashers got a reputation for being sexist for a good reason. And no, it's not because women were often victims (they were also typically the heroes), nor is it because women often appeared nude (what's wrong with showering?), it's because women were often not given actual characters to play. While that's fine in films where their male counterparts are also treated like slabs of meat, it's not fine when a lot of time is set aside defining every single male cast member while every single female is a piece of cardboard. The ladies here may as well be named Blonde #1, Blonde #2 and Brunette but, for the record, they're called Kathy (Valerie Sheldon), Kristi (Shannon Engemann) and Shelly (Beth Toussaint). This even resorts to having the last surviving female literally having to be told what to do and getting yanked around the forest by the guys.

Adventures on their way to their remote destination of Rainbow Valley (also called "Little Norway" because it was settled by the descendants of Norse Vikings [!?]) include getting pulled over by a cop after throwing a beer can out of the truck window and trying to understand what Buck Flower, playing grumpy Scandinavian caretaker Pappy Nyquist, is even saying. After setting up camp, they throw a football, drive a three-wheeler around, pour beer over each other's heads, go swimming and then settle down around a campfire for marshmallows and scary stories.

The nerd plucks an appropriate tale out of his book about vicious Viking warriors called "berserkers," who not only were the most feared of all Vikings but were also rumored to have cannibalized their victims. Typical attire for one of these warriors was a bear-skinned robe with a bear snout mask fashioned from a bear the men killed with their own bare hands as a way to prove their mettle. The warriors who became too unhinged to handle due to their bloodlust were chained, caged, fed raw meat scraps (including human meat) and essentially treated like rabid dogs to unleash upon enemies. Good thing rampaging Vikings are no longer a thing, right? Well, not so fast. Due to all of the massacring and flesh-munching, berserkers don't get to enjoy a peaceful afterlife. Instead, they sit in limbo and occasionally return to Earth by possessing the body of one of their ancestors.

Someone or some thing then starts going around killing the teens, starting with those dumb enough to wander around outside at night alone despite being explicitly told about animal attacks and mysterious deaths in the area. One girls dies after walking a mile into the woods just to take a dump and another is killed after participating in a nude sex scene, yet her boyfriend is allowed to walk away unscathed. As for the presentation of the death scenes, well, you can only see a woolly paw reach into frame to maul a shrieking victim to death so many times before the tedium sets in. And, while we're on the subject of tedium, there are seemingly endless scenes of people walking around in circles in the woods tripping over the same dead bodies over and over again that would be almost comical if they weren't so boring.

From the title and the fact a large chunk of dialogue is dedicated to its mythology, I'm sure you've already guessed by now that a man possessed by a berserker is responsible for the killings, yet each time there's a murder this cuts to an actual bear lurking around doing menacing things like standing up, huffing and growling. Alas, the ferocious forest creature is simply being used as an all-too-obvious red bearing. A scene where Pappy sits down for a chess match with his police officer buddy, Walt Hill (John F. Goff), and they discuss how the father of one of the teens comes from a Nordic bloodline and disappeared in the same area years earlier, is yet another sloppily done diversion attempt. There's a bear vs. berserker wrestling match that should have been a high point but somehow isn't and, while the berserker costume actually looks pretty cool, we bearly (sorry) even get to see it.

I'll give this a little credit where credit is due. There are nice Utah shooting locations and the nighttime scenes are sometimes atmospherically shot (by Sunn Classics vet Henning Schellerup) thanks in part to lots of added fog, but that's about it as far as the good is concerned. Well, the super-hot Toussaint sans clothing isn't a bad thing either. Though it's admittedly not saying much since her co-stars are all dreadful, she's by far the best actor of the younger cast, which also probably explains why she was able to land some roles on known TV shows and films after this.

The biggest star to emerge from the abyss also happens to be the youngest: 10-year old Bart the Bear. This 9-foot-tall brown bear would go on to become something of an animal celebrity soon after, appearing alongside top stars like Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt and landing credited starring roles in The Bear (1987), Walking Thunder (1995), The Edge (1997) and many more. His other roles include Bear, The Bear, The Bear, Bear, The Kodiak Bear, The Bear, The Bear and The Bald-Headed Bear. He was clearly a victim of typecasting.

This was given home video releases in the U.S. (well-distributed on the Prism label), the UK, Australia, Canada, Japan, Brazil and Germany. In 2019, Vinegar Syndrome released it on Blu-ray and DVD, which includes on-camera interviews with the director and stars Johnson and Engemann, as well as an audio interview with Mike Riley, who plays the title character. 80s slasher enthusiasts should probably still check this out regardless of my comments. Everyone else can safely give A Norwegian Cannibal Viking in Utah a pass.

★1/2

Fog, The (1980)

... aka: A Bruma Assassina (The Killing Fog)

... aka: Der Nebel des Grauens (The Fog of Horror)

... aka: John Carpenter's The Fog

Directed by:

John Carpenter

I've never been as enamored with this film as a lot of other people and always felt it was middling, forgettable Carpenter, especially as it's sandwiched between two of his very best genre films: Halloween (long overdue for a proper review here... maybe later this month!) and THE THING (1982). Then again, I should also point out that prior to this current viewing, I'd just seen this film twice before; once in high school and once in college. While I never hated or even disliked it, I was mostly left feeling indifferent after each viewing and never really had any desire to make it part of my annual film rotation. Seeing how this film's stock has risen somewhat in recent years (the ratings are more often than not positive - if not glowing - on genre sites and blogs), I figured it was about time for a reevaluation. Sad to say, after this re-watch my opinion remains exactly the same.

Things start out promisingly with the premise and tone established right out of the gate by the pre-credits sequence, which features John Houseman as a elder seaman telling a group of scared children ghost stories at a beach side campfire late one night. According to local legend, a hundred years earlier, a clipper ship called the Elizabeth Dane was traveling through uncommonly dense fog and, drawn inland by a campfire, crashed against the rocks in Antonio Bay. The ship was broken in two, sank and the six men onboard all died. Ever since, fishermen in the area have passed down this tale; adding a spooky epilogue... Supposedly, when the same thick, luminous fog returns on the 100 year anniversary of the crash, the dead men will return to get their revenge. Revenge for what, you say? Well, we will soon find out.

As the 100th anniversary approaches, the small, Northern California coastal town is rocked by bizarre, supernatural-tinged events. Bottles in a store start ratting and falling off shelves as if there's a minor earthquake going on. At a service station, lights and a hydraulic lift come on all by themselves and the alarm systems on cars all simultaneously go off. TVs switch on, chairs move across floors, car windshields bust out and a thick blanket of fog going against wind patterns slowly approaches the area. All are harbingers of bad things to come. Out at sea, a small fishing boat called the Sea Grass runs afoul of a larger ghost ship. All three men on board are slaughtered by shrouded phantoms brandishing swords and hooks. The ghosts will then make their way to Antonio Bay, just in time for their centennial celebration.

At a local church, Father Malone (Hal Holbrook) locates a journal from his grandfather hidden behind the rock walls, which was written in 1880 and gives a little insight into the area and the history of the Elizabeth Dane. Instead of the tale that's been told around town, the ship was actually intentionally sunk by townspeople because it had lepers on board who wanted to start their own colony nearby. As Father Malone aptly points out, that makes the entire celebration extremely inappropriate. Kinda like Columbus Day. Nevertheless, harried busybody Kathy Williams (Janet Leigh), who's in charge of putting together the celebration, plots to carry on as if nothing is wrong.

Top-billed Adrienne Barbeau (then married to the director) is Stevie Wayne, a sultry-voiced radio station owner / DJ who works out of a secluded lighthouse and is also a widowed single mother to young Andy (Ty Mitchell). After having a spooky encounter with a piece of leaky driftwood, she tries to warn locals about the fog over the radio (kind of hard to do when the power is out) and finally gets chased all the way up to the lighthouse roof when the ghosts come after her. Acting-wise, Barbeau makes a very good impression here as our heroine. On a more shallow note, I wish she'd kept this same hairstyle throughout the 80s instead of that afro-perm thing she switched to soon after this and kept for the rest of the decade.

A parallel thread follows Nick Castle (Tom Atkins), a fisherman who typically works on the Sea Grass and is investigating the disappearance of his colleagues. He teams up with free-spirited hitchhiker / artist Elizabeth, who's played by Jamie Lee Curtis right in the middle of her late 70s / early 80s Scream Queen run. While there is nothing wrong with her acting, Curtis feels underutilized and is basically just tagging along for the ride. It's also disappointing that she's in the same film as real-life mother Leigh and the two barely even interact with one another! I'd say this is probably the worst role Curtis had in her first string of genre films, though certainly not the worst movie she was in. Fellow Halloween vets Nancy Loomis and Charles Cyphers are both also here as, respectively, Kathy's assistant and Stevie's weatherman colleague. They're given even less to do than Curtis.

Great locations and vistas. Great widescreen photography from Dean Cundey. Great atmosphere. Great cast. Great score by Carpenter (with "electronic realization" by Dan Wyman). Great idea to keep the ghosts (sometimes seen with red, glowing eyes) mostly shrouded in fog and never fully seen. However, none of the above is fully able to overcome an extremely uneven (and usually bland) script. Frequent cross-cutting hampers the tension, a number of supporting characters feel unnecessary and this is very thinly and routinely plotted, lacking in surprise and more than a bit clumsy in regards to the narrative. And there may be a good reason why...

After shooting was completed, Carpenter was dissatisfied with the first edit and then went back and filmed brand new scenes to splice into the film. About 30 percent of the released film is comprised of this new footage and it appears some crucial establishing scenes and dialogue were lost along the way. Here, characters seem to know things they not only weren't around to witness but also things that were never once relayed to them by another character. A good example of this is that we're told that if the ghosts don't get their golden cross back, they'll claim six victims. Though three fishermen were killed, no one even sees the fourth and fifth victims killed and then, at the very end, the priest character notes the ghosts have only killed five of their six proposed victims. Huh?

Tommy Lee Wallace, the production manager and editor, also plays one of the ghosts, as does Rob Bottin, who was in charge of the (barely seen) make-up effects. The cast includes John F. Goff, James Canning and George 'Buck' Flower as victims, Darwin Joston (Assault on Precinct 13) as a doctor and Carpenter himself in an uncredited cameo. This was Carpenter's second collaboration with producer / co-writer Debra Hill after Halloween. The two would work together on numerous other films and also co-produced (the God awful) 2005 remake of this film.

Made on a budget of a million dollars, Avco Embassy spent three times that amount on advertising, which paid off as the film grossed over 20 million in North American theaters. While that pales in comparison to the director's prior genre hit (and also pales in comparison to the same year's FRIDAY THE 13TH, which grossed nearly double that on an even-smaller budget), this was actually Carpenter's second most financially successful genre film; behind only Halloween.

★★1/2