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Thursday, February 12, 2015

Terror Eyes (1989)

Directed by:
Eric Parkinson
Michael Rissi
Steve Sommers

Due to a writer's strike in Hollywood, advertising executive Eva Adams (co-writer and co-producer Vivian Schilling) has been given the task of writing her first horror screenplay. Her ideas - and the nightmares caused by her ideas - are then visualized for us. The first is "Book of Life," which centers around unhappily married couple Troy Floyd (Lance August) and his frustrated wife Starla (Schilling). He's so lazy he refuses to shower so they can go out for dinner and would rather sit at home watching demolition derbies on TV and playing poker with a stuffed animal (?!) She whines, nags and treats him like a child. Mysterious Clark Rogers (Daniel Roebuck) shows up at their door, announces he's from the Book of Life Club and then hands them a monogrammed book before disappearing. Starla begins reading and is shocked to discover it's filled with personal details about their entire life, including private bits about their wedding and revelations about his infidelities. Even more surprisingly, the book also details what's going on today... like right now... and even predicts he'll die by his own hand. The book proves to be indestructible: pages cannot be ripped out, it won't burn and it even survives an acid bath. When they attempt to throw it in the dumpster it miraculously appears on their coffee table again and eventually their home fills with smoke, red and blue lights flash and Troy starts melting down.








Eva awakens from her dream, goes back to sleep and then has another nightmare about someone chasing her through corridors. She and her hubby Richard (Roebuck again) then round up two other couples; Mannie (Dan Bell) and April (Becky McGovern) and Scott (August again) and Julie (Gina Hightower) and everyone heads out to the woods for a weekend camping trip. There, we get more smoke machine, more red and blue lights, more POV camera-work and eventually some rubber ghoul smoking a cigarette. Richard begins behaving strangely and obnoxiously and then Mannie decides to tell a horror story drawing from his own life that he thinks may give Eva inspiration for her script.








A long time ago, Mannie had a gambling problem and owed thug Mike (Christopher Roland) 800 bucks (that's it?!). To relieve the debt, he agrees to rob Mike's estranged wife's (Elinor Baggett) safe. He sets himself up an alibi by going to a theater showing "Once a Loser" and then sneaks out to perform the robbery but when he arrives he finds the wife already dead. Somehow, he's then able to relive the same day over and over again (like in Groundhog Day) and eventually goes to the apartment a little early to find out what really happened to the wife. Fox Harris (from Repo Man and numerous Fred Olen Ray movies) has a small role here as a ticket taker.








Julie sets up our third story about her sister Alex (Diana James), "the first female champion chess player." After winning her title, Alex decides to use her celebrity to boycott a company making violent and misogynistic video games like "Wife Beater," "Dumb Blonde" and "Slasher," where you get points for the amount of murders and rapes you commit. She's kidnapped and taken off to a mansion owned by Martin Rubinstein (Phil Lowey), the creator of the games. There, she's forced to play "The Snake Eyes Game" and hop from room to room surviving various death traps along the way centered around such things as poison gas, a rabid dog and the floor dropping out from under her. Things eventually settle into a Most Dangerous Game-style situation where Martin attempts to hunt her down in an abandoned Old West desert town. This is the best idea for all the segments, and perhaps overall the best of the bunch, but they don't quite take it far enough and this may have worked better as a feature and not a short. It is however somewhat prophetic in its criticism of violent video games marketed toward children, which would become a hot news topic years later.

Daniel Roebuck interview in Psychotronic #27 (scan credit: happyotter666)

All three of the stories were made by USC students and, while none are great, all three are at least show some imagination at work. As is customary for such a low budget outing, the editing, sound recording, photography (parts were shot on film and video) and acting all have their bumps along the way. "Book of Life" and the wraparound were done by Eric Parkinson. Story #2 ("Perfect Alibi") was made by Steve Sommers, who doesn't appear to have made anything else. Our concluding tale "Snake Eyes" was made by Michael Rissi, who'd team up with Parkinson and Schilling again for Soultaker (1990), which ended up getting (somewhat unfairly) mocked on "Mystery Science Theater 3000." Both were released on VHS by AIP.

★★

The 2015 Orloks - 1956 Results

Started many moons ago by Prof-Hieronymos-Grost, the Orloks were a yearly poll on the IMDb horror boards where users submitted Top 5 lists of their favorite horror movies for each year. All of the results were then tabulated to come up with a definitive list of the year's most-liked genre offerings. Alas, when the good Professor decided to depart the boards years ago, the awards went with him... that is until now. IMDb-er seth_yeah - taking on responsibilities as both host and calculator - has decided to bring back this long-standing tradition in 2015, and now the awards will have a permanent place right here on this blog. Scoring is rather simple and done on a weighted system where first choice receives 5 points, second choice 4 points, etc., with a +1 bonus then awarded to the #1 selection on each list. IMDb release years are being used, but it is left up to voters to determine what they may or may not consider horror (which may be in conflict with IMDb's genre labeling system). If you'd like to participate, head on over to the IMDb HORROR BOARDS to vote! So without any further ado, the results...

_________________________________________________________________________________

1956
Top 5
* * * * * * * * * *
1. Invasion of the Body Snatchers
USA / 80 points / Don Siegel
* * * * * * * * * *
2. The Bad Seed
USA / 44 points / Mervyn LeRoy
* * * * * * * * * *
3. Forbidden Planet
USA / 21 points / Fred M. Wilcox
* * * * * * * * * *
4. The Black Sleep
USA / 18 points / Reginald Le Borg
* * * * * * * * * *
5. X: The Unknown
UK / 17 points / Joseph Losey and Leslie Norman

_________________________________________________________________________________

Making the Top 10:

6. Werewolf, The / USA / 12 points / Fred F Sears
7. (tie) It Conquered the World / USA / 11 points / Roger Corman
7. (tie) Rodan (Sora no daikaijû Radon) / Japan / 11 points / Ishirô Honda
8. (tie) Creature Walks Among Us, The / USA / 6 points / John Sherwood
8. (tie) Earth vs. the Flying Saucers / USA / 6 points / Fred F. Sears
9. She-Creature, The / USA / 4 points / Edward L. Cahn
10. (tie) Kiss Before Dying, A / USA / 3 points / Gerd Oswald
10. (tie) Swamp Women / USA / 3 points / Roger Corman

_________________________________________________________________________________

Others receiving votes:

- Beast of Hollow Mountain, The / Mexico, USA / Edward Nassour and Ismael Rodríguez
- Blonde Witch, The (La sorcière) / France, Italy, Sweden / André Michel
- Godzilla, King of the Monsters / Japan, USA / Ishirô Honda and Terry O. Morse
- Indestructible Man / USA / Jack Pollexfen
- Man Beast / USA / Jerry Warren
- Mole People, The / USA / Virgil W. Vogel
_________________________________________________________________________________

Links here will be connected when the time comes.

< Back to 1955                    Continue to 1957 >

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Friday the 13th: A Nude Beginning (1987)

... aka: Friday the 13th

Directed by:
F.J. (Fred J.) Lincoln

Prior to co-starring in the notorious and influential shocker The Last House on the Left (1972), Fred Lincoln had appeared in a handful of porn films, usually using the aliases "Tony Vincent" or "Fred Zots." One of these - the 'documentary' Loops, which appears to be a lost film now - even reportedly featured his Last House co-star Lucy Grantham involved in the hardcore action. But none of that should really come as a surprise when you look into the filmographies of Last House director / writer Wes Craven and Last House producer Sean S. Cunningham, both of whom were involved in the adult film industry of the 70s. The two men first combined forces on the faux sex documentary Together (1971) featuring a pre-Behind the Green Door Marilyn Chambers. After Last House, Craven edited and was assistant director of the porn It Happened in Hollywood (1973) and even directed and wrote his own porn The Fireworks Woman (1975) using the alias "Abe Snake." Well before his breakthrough horror hit FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980), Cunningham had made The Case of the Full Moon Murders (1973), which also starred Lincoln and was advertised as being a "sex-rated whodunit." The film (reputedly) was originally filmed with X-rated sex scenes, though also released in a soft-core version. While Craven and Cunningham both worked their way out of the X industry, Lincoln never did. In fact, he ended up embracing it. Starting in 1976, he began a long career as a porn director and, by the mid 2000s, had well over 300 adult films to his credit. Lincoln's wife, Patti Rhodes, was also involved as a producer and sometimes writer.





This one starts in hell, which, in non-Sayadian porn terms basically means a large room with a fog machine going and excessive red lighting, where Jason keeps busy cutting up pictures with scissors. A bikini-clad female demon named Justine (Amber Lynn) shows up to mock him and the two get into an argument after he accuses her of being jealous. Jason then whips off his hockey mask to reveal himself to be Paul Thomas. Yes, just Paul Thomas. Eager to show Justine his special powers, he snaps his fingers and promptly disappears. Next thing we know we're in a bedroom with Fred (Mick Handle) and his bride-to-be Patti (Alena Ferrari). She's wanting to save her virginity for their wedding day and promptly kicks him out when he starts getting frisky. Soon after, best man Jason shows up to seduce her and give her "your last fling with freedom before the bonds of marriage shackle you in forever." After sex, Jason returns to hell to brag about breaking up the marriage and eats a bug. Justine isn't impressed and decides she is going to one-up him by going up to Earth to do her own corrupting.





We're next in the oval office, where the President of the United States (John Leslie) is talking to a Colombian guerrilla (Nikki Knight) dressed in camo short shorts. She thinks that coffee is "the drink of the fascist oppressors" and wants him to supply her band of revolutionaries with arms to overthrow their government. Justine, posing as the president's secretary, uses her powers to make them come to an, um, agreement. Returning to hell, Justine finds that Jason is unimpressed. After all, politicians don't have a soul so big deal if she was able to turn him to the dark side. He then gives her what he thinks will be an ever greater challenge: corrupting "a holier than thou evangelical preacher." The target is Reverend Jimmy Braggart (Joey Silvera) and, disguised as a nun, the demoness finds seducing him much easier than she realized.






Jason decides that to really prove herself, Justine will have to cause the Reverend to commit sin on live television during his Sunday morning show "The Jimmy Braggart Hour of God." Once Braggart's "regular fag make-up artist" is a no show, he shoves off Lawanda (Alexis White), the black woman doing his makeup, and screams at his producer that he "never wants to be touched by a spook again." One of the scheduled guests doesn't show up, so Olga (Paula Winters), a blind Russian communist with breast cancer (!), is waiting in the wings to take his place. When Olga asks if the Reverend is handsome, Lawanda says, "I don't know. I'm a lesbian nymphomaniac." Justine then does her magic thing and The Reverend, Lawanda and Olga are all going at it before the cameras as Amazing Grace plays on the soundtrack. It's at this point I'm realizing this is far funnier, more satirical and clever than it probably really needed to be.





Justine's next assignment for Jason is that he must seduce Andrea Dwarkin (Nina Hartley), who's clearly based on radical feminist, author and anti-porn advocate Andrea Dworkin, except instead of being an obese, unattractive brunette, here's she a hard-bodied blonde. Jason meets up with the uptight Andrea at a dyke bar (!) and somehow convinces her to join him at a hotel where she aqua nets her hair, puts on make-up and takes off her glasses and finally feels attractive. She tells Jason she's a virgin (lol) and says "I've always wanted to be appreciated by an ass-loving man." He then welcomes her to "the beautiful, perverted, disgustingly fiendish world of depraved sex." What follows is hardly all that (the sex scenes in this one is pretty routine), but Andrea, after having sex with both Jason and Justine (in separate scenes) is enjoying sex so much she decides to quit her day job and go to work for a pimp (Billy Dee) instead!





Despite the title (an obvious play on the 5th Friday movie) and the presence of an evil guy named Jason wearing a hockey mask for a few seconds, this is not a spoof of the Friday the 13th films in any way, shape or form. Instead, it balances its time between sex scenes and comic vignettes poking fun at the hypocrisy of people trying to dictate morals to the rest of the world as if we're all some faceless mass who should all be doing (and thinking) the same things. The screenplay (a porn with an actual script - imagine that!) by Mark Weiss isn't exactly subtle, but it's often surprisingly funny and manages to get its points across in a witty and clever way. One doesn't expect jabs at politicians, religious figures and moralists in this kind of film, but it actually makes for the perfect pairing here. Sure, the acting's not always great (though most actually aren't too bad) and some lines are flubbed here and there, but at least it was shot on 35mm film and goes beyond what it had to be.

Lincoln and his wife both appear here in small cameo roles and followed with a sequel - FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2: THE NEXT GENERATION (1989) - a few years later. Silvera and Dee were back for that one, playing the same roles.

★★★
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