Bride of the Gorilla (1951)

...aka: Face in the Water, The

Directed by:

Curt Siodmak

If the stock footage of monkeys, a black panther, a leopard, a komodo dragon and an anaconda (most of which don't even reside on the same continent, let alone the same jungle) isn't enough to clue us in, the narrator makes sure to insult our intelligence even further with the first three words out of his mouth: "This. Is. Jungle." Yes kids, this is the jungle, where our wise doctor hero anticipates the overheated melodrama we are about to see when he proclaims "White people shouldn't live too long in the jungle." Klaas Van Gelder (Paul Cavanagh) is one such man who's been in the jungle too long. Busy with his books and plantation, his health has taken a hit and he's been a bit neglectful of his much-younger blonde wife Dina (Barbara Payton), who's forced to spend her evenings all alone. The marriage is on the rocks but things start getting more complicated once Klaas realizes that Dina is attracted to macho Barney Chavez (Raymond Burr), who's been hired to run the plantation, and vice versa. He fires Barney and insist he leave his home immediately. Later that night while no one else is around, punches are traded and Barney knocks Klaas to the ground, where a venomous snake bites and kills him.

Klaas' elderly, eavesdropping female servant Al-Long (Gisela Werbisek) witnesses Klaas' death and decides to get revenge on Barney, and not just for killing her employer, but also for jilting her daughter Larina (Carol Varga), who'd fallen in love with the brutish Barney only to be pushed away for the other woman. Using leaves from "the plant of evil," which is toxic and illegal in those parts, Al-Long is able to place the curse of the beast on Barney. It isn't long after Klaas' death, which is officially written off as an accident, that Dina and Barney plan to be married. Dr. Viet (Tom Conway), who's skeptical that his friend Klaus' death was accidental (and is ALSO in love with Dina), along with Police Commissioner Taro (Lon Chaney Jr.), who was born and bred in the area but spent so much time away at university he now feels out of touch with the superstitions of his native land, decide to investigate matters. Barney starts behaving strangely and wanders off into the jungle at night, sometimes returning days later a blubbering, hysterical mess. All the while, animals in the area are turning up dead and natives report sightings of a "sukara;" a hairy, clawed, ape-like jungle demon.

This 'B' programmer falls into one of those weird gray areas between semi-respectable and all out camp. It's made with enough basic skill to avoid being an unintentional laugh riot, yet it's not made well-enough to be a low-budget diamond in the rough. In other words, those looking for their next camp classic are better off looking elsewhere. The acting is fine, the dialogue is somewhat sober and there's a fair - though not very original - storyline. On the downside, there's not nearly enough monkey action. In fact, the "gorilla" is only seen a couple of times and it's usually upside down reflected in a pool of water. It also only runs 65 minutes, which apparently wasn't enough time to come up with a half-way decent ending (the one it's saddled with now is pretty anti-climactic). There's next to no suspense, very little horror, action or excitement; just lots of talk really.

I suppose Conway - who'd starred in the excellent Val Lewton productions CAT PEOPLE and I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE less than a decade earlier (in 1943) - is "slumming" in this one, but he's fine in his role. Ditto for very attractive, ill-fated starlet Payton (who was romantically linked to Conway for a brief time off-screen), aging horror king Chaney and future Perry Mason Burr (who'd return for more gorilla fun in 1954's GORILLA AT LARGE and face an even more threatening monster in GODZILLA, KING OF THE MONSTERS a few years later). A young Woody Strode (whom Payton was also romantically linked to!) has one scene as a policeman. Director Siodmak (who also scripted) would revisit the Amazon (or at least jungle sets posing as such) with CURUCU, BEAST OF THE AMAZON (1956).

An easy-to-find public domain title, this has been released on multi-movie packs for years.

★★

Bug (1975)

Directed by:

Jeannot Szwarc

The small town of Riverside, California has more problems than the usual San Andreas fault city. A destructive earthquake has not only shaken up the population, but also released a disgusting cockroach-like insect from the center of the earth. The bugs, which are ten inches long, can make ears bleed by making shrills sounds, and cause people to spontaneously combust at will, cause various problems and death for the unfortunate denizens of Riverside. Though it's middling as far as killer bug movies go, there are some fun and entertaining moments to be had here. Good cast, too, featuring the always amiable Bradford Dillman in the lead and Patty (THE BAD SEED) McCormack as a victim. Written, produced, and featuring a cameo appearance from the king of theater gimmicks - William Castle - who had a typically outrageous idea of putting devices under theater seats to emulate scurrying bugs. Unfortunately, that never happened. It was rated PG, but still has plenty of scenes guaranteed to you squirm in your seat. Charles Fox did the music, and Paramount released it to home video. It was the last film project for Castle.

★★

'burbs, The (1989)

...aka: Life in the Burbs

Directed by:

Joe Dante

Review coming soon.

★★

Brood, The (1979)

...aka: Chromosome 3

...aka: David Cronenberg's The Brood

Directed by:

David Cronenberg

Review coming soon.

★★1/2

Burnt Offerings (1976)

Directed by:
Dan Curtis

Review coming soon.

★★1/2

Brimstone & Treacle (1982)

Directed by:

Richard Loncraine

Polite, mannered, mysterious drifter Martin Taylor (Sting, who's quite good in this; one of his first lead roles) charms his way into the home of Thomas Bates (Denholm Elliott), an outwardly upright publisher of religious texts, his simple-minded, devout wife Norma (Joan Plowright) and their catatonic daughter Patricia (Suzanna Hamilton), whom he claims to know. Martin is allowed to stay in the home for a couple of days, cooks, cleans, "cares" for the daughter and tries to help the couple through their marital problems, but he's also the catalyst that forces some dark secrets out of the family closet. Sting's character will either annoy or fascinate you as he exists solely as an enigma, representing angel or demon, or possibly both. Originally a play, this film never quite escapes the stage, but that only feeds into the claustrophobia of the stuffy household and guilt-ridden, lonely characters who inhabit it and, all in all, it's a very intriguing allegory on the nature of good and evil that has a lot to offer. There's some bizarre and potent religious imagery, a knockout nightmare/fantasy sequence and a good score (plus songs by The Police - who released a soundtrack album) all driven home by excellent performances by the three leads and assured direction by Richard Loncraine. "Treacle," by the way (I had to look this up, too!), refers to "a cloying speech or sentiment."

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Dennis Potter's script was previously filmed in 1976 for BBC. That version also starred the late, great Denholm Elliott and has recently been released to DVD.

★★★

El ataque de los pájaros (1987)

...aka: Beaks: The Movie

...aka: Birds of Prey

...aka: Evil Birds

Directed by:

René Cardona, Jr.

Here are eight things Alfred Hitchcock left out of THE BIRDS...

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1.) Bad dubbing and phonetically challenged foreign actors.
2.) A TV news story entitled "Attack of the Killer Chickens!"
3.) Close-ups of birds pecking faces apart and pulling out eyeballs, leaving only blood-squirting empty black sockets.
4.) Gratuitous slow-mo flying and attack scenes.
5.) A dense globe-trotting blonde couple who take time out from the carnage for a PG-rated bubblebath/champagne kissy kissy session.
6.) Snappy dialogue reducing a worldwide epidemic of bird attacks to "feathered mutiny."
7.) An annoying little brat who runs outside during the middle of a bird ambush just to get her greedy little hands on a party horn...leading to several unnecessary deaths.
8.) Christopher Atkins talking to his penis.

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In case you haven't caught on, this is a low-grade rip off of the 1963 classic which cuts back and forth, from different countries to different people running away from someone off-screen throwing pigeons at them. American actors Michelle Johnson and Atkins are in the main segment about TV reporters who travel around investigating various attacks only to get ravaged on a train, but the story also covers a bickering couple, their two kids and a girl in a bikini attacked at a beach and people at a children's birthday party (there's even a little Veronica Cartwright knock-off named Cathy!). This film was also released as BIRDS OF PREY and was an international production that was filmed in Spain, Peru, Italy, Mexico, Morocco and Puerto Rico.

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The cast includes Sonia Infante (from Cardona's much more enjoyable TREASURE OF THE AMAZON), Italian actor Gabriele Tinti, Aldo Sambrell (VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST), May Heatherly (PIECES), José Lifante as the governor, Francisco Guttierez and "Al Coster" aka René Cardona III (the director's son) as a soldier.

★1/2