Bermuda Triangle, The (1978)

... aka: Devil's Triangle of Bermuda
... aka: Mystere du Triangle des Bermudes, Le
... aka: Mystery of the Bermuda Triangle, The
... aka: Secrets of the Bermuda Triangle
... aka: Triangle: The Bermuda Mystery
... aka: Triangolo delle Bermude, Il
... aka: Triángula diabólico de las Bermudas, El

Directed by:
René Cardona Jr.

The Bermuda Triangle is an unspecified area of water in the Atlantic Ocean where an unusually-high number of airplanes and ships were said to have mysteriously disappeared over the years. It covers between 500,000 and 1.5 million square miles depending on who you ask and some authors have defined the area's points as stretching from around Miami to San Juan, Puerto Rico on over to the island of Bermuda and back to Florida, but not all stick by this definition. The Bermuda Triangle legend began back in 1950 with an article in the Miami Herald newspaper, and subsequent sensationalist articles claiming supernatural forces may somehow be at play quickly followed suit. These helped establish the various legends that the area was somehow cursed or haunted, and some even went so far as to assert that it was controlled by aliens! These claims and the poorly-researched early articles have long since been debunked by researchers, authors, scientists, insurance companies and members of the U.S. Navy and Coast Guard. Like so many other legends, it's a fun thing to think about until fact crashes the party. In reality, there has not been a larger-than-usual amount of planes and ships to vanish in the Bermuda Triangle than there has been anywhere else. It's one of those things that's been ingrained in our subconscious despite the fact it's an unsubstantiated hoax comparable to Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, the Amityville haunting and numerous other oddities some people continue to believe are real simply because they want to.

The Bermuda Triangle legend reached its peak in popularity in the 1970s and various films were made to cash in. Richard Winer's documentary The Devil's Triangle (1974), narrated by Vincent Price, led the way and was followed by the made for TV movies Satan's Triangle (1975), directed by Sutton Roley and starring Kim Novak, and Beyond the Bermuda Triangle (1975), this theatrical release (an Italian / Mexican co-production), Richard Friedenberg's documentary The Bermuda Triangle (1979) and numerous others. Steven Spielberg's Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977), which made mention of the alien theory, helped ensure the Triangle legend was known to the masses. Other films, like The Bermuda Depths (1978) and Bermuda: Cave of the Sharks (1978), didn't care so much about the legend, but didn't mind using the Bermuda name to help sell tickets. Since the 70s, movies have been produced in each decade about the Triangle. Some examples include Lost in the Bermuda Triangle (1998), the TV miniseries The Triangle (2005) and Beneath the Bermuda Triangle (2007). And this isn't scratching the surface if you want to list movies making mention of it, movies influenced by it or all of the TV programs devoted to the particular topic.

Expert diver and photographer Edward Marvin (71-year-old John Huston, who is way too old for this role) charters the boat the Black Whale in his quest to discover the lost city of Atlantis (another popular theory floated around by Triangle conspiracy theorists). He brings along his wife Kim (Marina Vlady, who was 30+ years Huston's junior), his teenage children Michelle (hot blonde Gloria Guida) and Dave ("Al Coster" / René Cardona III aka the director's son) and younger kids Billy (Andrés Garcia Jr.) and Diane (Gretha). Edward's half-brother Peter (Carlos East), a drunk, obnoxious former doctor who lost his desire to practice after accidentally killing a child during an operation, and his miserable wife Sybil (Claudine Auger) are also around for the unpleasant cruise, which is about to become even more unpleasant. While way out at sea in the Bermuda Triangle, Diane discovers a creepy old doll floating in the water. It's fished out, given to her and is soon whispering in her ear that it wants raw meat to eat. Soon enough, Diane becomes possessed, starts acting weird, gets flogged by a bunch of green parrots that promptly fall over dead with broken necks and begins obsessively talking about death.

Some of the family members go diving and stumble upon a bunch of underwater ruins which may be Atlantis. Some pillars fall and crush Michelle's legs; critically injuring her in the process. Diane has some questions about the black cook (Jorge Zamora), so she asks her mommy, "What color would Simon be when he dies? Purple or white?" More like red when he's found dead in a puddle of blood after his throat is cut with a broken bottle. Some mysterious bouts of bad weather come their way and a wave sweeps Edward and Kim out to sea. Superstitious Gordon (Miguel Ángel Fuentes), who works in the boiler room, insists the doll be destroyed but no one listens and he gets chopped up by the boat's propeller. Captain Mark Briggs (Hugo Stiglitz) and his right hand man Alan (Andrés Garcia) attempt to get them to the island of Bimini but various problems keep them from going anywhere and a strange static interference prevents them from radioing anywhere for help. Will the survivors be able to escape, or will they become the latest in a long line to disappear without a trace?

No explanation for the mysterious occurrences is ever given here, which is fine by me, but the poor handling of this material is not OK. Potentially eerie moments are continually botched by poor directorial choices and inept editing and pacing. The characters are mostly either cardboard or flat-out unpleasant, and they're not made any better by English-language dubbing so bad and so lacking in infliction that lines like "Would you like a cup of coffee?" and "Oh my God!! She's dead!!" come out sounding exactly the same. The script is bland and plodding, the dialogue is terrible, the film lurches along very slowly for nearly two hours and it's so light on violence (everything pretty much takes place off-screen) that one suspects this was made for a family audience. That's all a shame, too, because this is actually reasonably produced and features decent photography (including some nice underwater work) and an atmospheric score from Stelvio Cipriani.

Bermuda was filmed around the same time as Cardona's TINTORERA (1977) and TERROR STORM (1978), both of which also have ocean settings, shark scenes (three real sharks are needlessly harpooned and killed in this film, which seemed to be one of the director's unfortunate preoccupations at the time) and feature cast members Stiglitz, Garcia and East. Top-billed Huston really isn't given much to do. This was made during a strange chapter in the multiple Oscar-winning filmmaker's career which also saw roles in other low-brow films like the killer octopus flick Tentacles (1977) and the Exorcist / Omen cash-in The Visitor (1979).

★1/2

Treasure of the Amazon, The (1985)

... aka: Diamonds of the Amazon
... aka: El tesoro del Amazonas
... aka: Greed

Directed by:
René Cardona Jr.

Having been responsible for hundreds of films between them, René Cardona (who passed away in 1988) and his son René Cardona Jr. (who passed away in 2003) were a force to be reckoned with in Mexico. The secret of their success? They both knew it was wise to pay close attention to whatever hot trend was going on at the time to ensure their films were profitable. In 1974, the two worked together (Sr. co-writing and directing; Jr. producing) on the bio-pic La isla de los hombres solos ("The Island of Lost Souls"); which detailed a man's 20-year stint on a brutal prison island. Because of the "based on a true story" angle and the fact the film was based on a popular, best-selling novel, the film went on to break Mexican box office records. Wanting to keep striking while the iron was still hot, the duo would start milking sensationalism for all it was worth. 

They made Survive! (1978), about that 1972 plane crash in the Andes where the survivors were forced to cannibalize each other in order to stay alive, TERROR STORM (1977), which was based on the same story but was set on a boat, Guyana: Cult of the Damned (1979), which hoped to capitalize on the Jim Jones tragedy, The Bermuda Triangle (1978), a popular "real life" mystery in the late 70s and others. Treasure of the Amazon came late in the game. It too professes to be based on a true story, though I'm not sure what true story they're talking about. The opening titles state "This story is based on actual facts that occurred in 1958 in the depths of the Amazon Jungles of South America." and adds "The action does not take place in a specific country but in a fictitious place." As you read the plot synopsis below, keep the "true story" claims in your mind.

Things begin on a steam boat, where we learn not to try to rob grizzled old Gringo (Stuart Whitman). If you do, you're bound to get your finger cut off and then get tossed overboard where hungry piranha will feast on you. So what has made Gringo such a tough s.o.b.? Years earlier, he and five friends ventured into the jungle on a treasure hunt. Six long years later, a maddened Gringo emerged with the shrunken heads of all of his fellow travelers. Since then he hasn't mellowed out too much, but he is reconsidering risking another jungle trip after two guys he meets on the boat; Zapata (Pedro Armendariz Jr.) and Jairo (Jorge Luke), claim they know where they can find some gold and are in need of an experienced guide.

Meanwhile, pilot Clark (Bradford Dillman), whose idea of a good time is hitting birds with his airplane propellers mid-flight, is escorting prissy Southern belle Barbara (former Miss World Ann Sidney) and her whiny boyfriend Dick (Clark Jarrett) around as they scout for oil. They've been coming up dry, but during one dig, they find a diamond and decide to stick around and see if they can find more. Elsewhere in the jungle, Nazi-in-hiding Klaus von Blantz (Donald Pleasence) is also on the search for treasure. He wants to use his potential findings to "revive the glories of the Third Reich" and has a tough and always-topless female native guide named Morinba (Sonia Infante), who needs money herself because her daughters have been forced into sexual servitude by a horny old slimeball (Emilio 'El Indio' Fernández) she's indebted to. Whew! These three groups of treasure hunters battle the elements, the vicious jungle animals, tribes full of blood-thirsty machete-wielding natives and blowgun-shooting cannibal headhunters and, of course, each other on their quest for riches.

Cardona leaves nothing out of this kitchen sink jungle adventure and moves things along at such a fast quip you never have time to get bored. Seemingly every other shot is of some jungle critter (alligators, snakes, parrots, tarantulas, panthers, leopards, monkeys, pigs, anteaters, you name it) and there's lots of blood and gore (throats slits, heads cut off), various animal attacks (bats, gators, some really strange bugs that suddenly fly out of the water), nudity (mud-covered topless native women in thongs enacting an Amazon wrestling ritual), people eating spiders and snakes, a tied-up man getting eaten alive by a slew of flesh-hungry crabs (!), quicksand, leeches, real animals eating each other and much more.

The cast is also excellent. This has to be the best role Whitman has had in years and he does a great job as the centerpiece for all the action. Pleasence, sporting a terrible German accent, is hysterically funny chewing the scenery and spouting lines like "I've killed many... Yanks... vith... zis...gun." He also gets to spend his last scene suspended from a tree by a hook stuck through his tongue! All of Infante's scenes are performed topless and she clearly doesn't know English at all because she reads all of her dialogue phonetically and with no inflection whatsoever (though it's somewhat fitting for the role of a native guide, I guess). John Ireland (a priest) and Hugo Stiglitz (a riverboat captain) also have small roles. The director's son, René Cardona III (now a prolific director himself), was the second unit director.

Very entertaining and lots of brainless fun's to be had in this one, folks. The ending's great, too. Initially released on video in the U.S. on the All-American label. VCI handled the DVD release.

★★★

La horripilante bestia humana (1969)

... aka: Gomar: The Human Gorilla
... aka: Horror and Sex
... aka: Horror y sexo
... aka: Night of the Bloody Apes

Directed by:
René Cardona

Guilt-stricken female grappler Lucy Ossorio (Norma Lazareno) feels she's to blame when she throws opponent Elena Gomez (Noelia Noel) out of the ring and fractures her skull. Well here's some news for you, Lucy: You are to blame! Elena gets an operation to remove a sliver of bone from her brain and remains in critical condition, while her surgeon Dr. Krallman (José Elías Moreno) has some problems of his own. His son Julio (Agustín Martinez Solares) has been stricken down with a mysterious and incurable form of leukemia. Krallman's colleagues tell him Julio's days are numbered, so the doc must resort to extreme measures to try to save him. He and his very dedicated, limping assistant Goyo (Carlos López Moctezuma) promptly head to the zoo, tranquilize an ape (well actually it's an orangutan that transforms to a man-in-a-suit-ape after they sedate it), bring it back to their basement lab and then perform the first ever ape-to-man heart transplant. Julio rapidly recovers from the operation and feels no pain... but then the side effects kick in as he transforms into a barrel-chested ape-faced monster. After his first transformation, Julio escapes from the lab, scales a building and surprises a woman just coming out of the shower. After unsuccessfully trying to rape her, he pummels her to death. Krallman and Goyo manage to track Julio down, tranquilize him again and bring him back home for further study.

While the monster is out cold, the doctor and assistant decide they need a fresh human heart and head to the hospital to swipe Elena since "she'll be an idiot, anyway" because of her injuries. While they're away, Julio in monster form manages to escape again, heads to a park and ambushes a couple sitting on bench; ripping the guy's throat out and ripping the dress off the woman. The monkey-man then goes on a mini-rampage; stabbing a guy to death and popping out another's eyeball with his fingers. He's captured (again), taken back the the lab (for the second time) and then given a brand new heart (oh, here we go again), but history repeats itself as the creature escapes (again) and runs amuck (once more). It uses its bare hands to rip off a head and scalp another guy before transforming back to human Julio. He's rushed off to the hospital, transforms again, grabs a little girl and ends up in a rooftop police stand-off.

It's pretty familiar territory for prolific director René Cardona, as he'd already made four 'Las Luchadoras' (female wrestler) action-horror films prior to this one. Still, there's an obvious reason Bloody Apes (a semi-remake of the Cardona's DOCTOR OF DOOM) is the most famous and was the best-distributed of all these titles. That's because it's extremely gory and trashy for its time. The film was notorious way-back-when for using gruesome, graphic footage from an actual open heart surgery to supply the "effects" for the transplant scenes. Those scenes plus four different instances of nudity and some additional gore had initially been cut from both the theatrical and VHS versions of the film. It's all restored on the DVD and these scenes give the film an exploitative punch that's sorely lacking in most other '60s Mexican productions.

Of course, this is an incredibly ridiculous - though never unentertaining - little film. The dubbed dialogue is horrendous, the effects are primitive, some of the editing is choppy and the premise itself (devised by the director and his director son René Cardona Jr.) is clearly too absurd for words. At one point, Dr. Krallman does attempt to explain the science behind how putting an ape heart into a human results in the creation of a monster, but that only succeeds in making it even more confusing. So apparently...

"The heart of a gorilla is much too potent for any human and the volume of blood to the cerebrum, which couldn't control this great pressure, damaged to the superior parts and when this happens man becomes an animal completely without control, giving origin to the transmutation."

If you can make heads or tails of that explanation (delivered... with... frequent... pauses...), then you're clearly on something. Interestingly, the director seems most influenced by Frankenstein (the monster has an affinity for children) and King Kong (the beast scaling tall buildings to get to a chica).

Some important things have been compromised here to make room for the blood 'n' boobs, most notably in regards to our heroine Lucy, who's actually not the heroine at all (she's also not the lead, despite her star billing). In Cardona's other wrestling women films, the ladies at least get to take part in the action (including fist-fighting with men and helping to destroy monsters), while here our leading lady isn't all that tough (she gets her ass handed back over to her in her second match because she's too 'scared' of injuring her opponent) and has absolutely nothing to do with the main storyline. In fact, most of her scenes are just filler. Lucy does know how to shower, though. She's so good at it, she does it three times. And she's rather adept at nude phone conversations as well, but other than that the character is almost entirely disposable. Reflecting back on the ape man's rampage she dryly dismisses things, "It's unfortunate. Really sad." Even her detective boyfriend, played by Armando Silvestre (traditionally more of a support character in wrestling women flicks) gets more to do that she does. Then again, I guess this isn't an official Luchadoras movie for a reason.

The DVD release from Something Weird pairs the film with the Argentinean effort FEAST OF FLESH (aka The Deadly Organ); appropriate since the two films played on a double-bill in theaters. It includes three minutes of Night of the Bloody Apes outtakes, theatrical trailers, TV spots, a "Ghastly Gallery of Ghoulish Comic Cover Art," the short subjects Gorilla and the Maiden, Artist's Paradise, White Gorilla and much more.

★★1/2