All the Kind Strangers (1974)

... aka: Evil in the Swamp

Directed by:
Burt Kennedy

Big city photo journalist Jimmy Wheeler (Stacy Keach) is about to get a good taste of (forced) Southern hospitality in this middling made-for-TV movie (produced for Jerry Gross' Cinemation). While driving cross country from New York to California in his brand new convertible, Jimmy decides to take a scenic back road and spots 7-year-old Gilbert (Tim Parkison) walking along the side of the road carrying a heavy bag of groceries. He decides to give the kid a lift home, which Gilbert claims is only about a mile away. So Jimmy keeps driving... and driving... and driving some more. Gilbert leads him down a gravel road and then onto a dirt one. Jimmy cringes as tree branches smack off his car, he hits some bumps and is even forced to drive through a shallow creek. They finally arrive and Gilbert begs him to come inside, meet his family and take some pictures with his fancy Polaroid camera. Jimmy's introduced to all of the children, seven in total, ranging in age from 5 to late teens. Gilbert claims his mom is dead and from all indications their pa is, too, though eldest son Peter (John Savage; who'd just played a similar anti-social type in the underrated THE KILLING KIND [1973] a year earlier) he's just "away."

Jimmy passes on their supper invitation, but when he tries to leave his car won't start. Now he's forced to take them up on their offer of spending the night. The children; including mute oldest daughter Martha (Arlene Farber), 15-year-old John (Robby Benson), 12-year-old Rita (Patti Parkison), 11-year-old James (Brent Campbell) and the youngest, named just Baby (John Connell) because ma died giving birth to him so he was never named, all act strangely and secretively. And things get even stranger when Jimmy is introduced to their mom Carol Ann (Samantha Eggar), who they'd previously claimed was dead, talks with a British accent and writes out "HELP" in some flour while preparing biscuits. As it turns out, the kids have lured there off the highway, are holding her against her will and forcing her to take on the responsibilities of a mother. And now they're in need of a dad to complete their happy family... which is where Jimmy comes in.

In between singing bible hymns and doing chores, the kids do everything in their power to make sure the adults can't leave. They have guns, there's an army of vicious, well-trained dogs (a Rottweiler, German Shepherd, etc.) lurking the grounds, and the fields and woods surrounding the property are all booby trapped. If the new parents refuse to play along or cause too many problems, then they're forced to leave. And by leave, I mean permanently. Peter takes them outside and shoots them, though the other kids don't know he's doing it. They sink Jimmy's car into a swimming hole where other cars from other visitors are. Martha ends up developing a crush on Jimmy and tries to kill her Carol Ann by sneaking a "varmint" (rattlesnake) into her bedroom and Peter, who dreams of traveling the country (even to "Mardi Grass"), is behind it all and is doing it because of the stress and strain of having to take on a parent's responsibility at such a young age and not being able to live his own life.

Also released as Evil in the Swamp, this has decent acting (Keach is particularly good) and an interesting premise, though it really could have been fleshed-out a lot better than it actually is. It's non-exploitative. I'd imagine if this were an R-rated release, the filmmakers would have elaborated more on the teenage daughter's desire for her new "pa" and other aspects of the plot. There's minimal violence and even a "heart-warming" ending. Benson sings the title theme song played over the end credits. Director Kennedy also made the theatrical release THE KILLER INSIDE ME (1976), which was loosely based on a Jim Thompson novel and starred Keach as a psycho cop. It's supposed to be better than this one.

★★

Curtains (1982)

Directed by:
"Jonathan Styker" (Richard Ciupka)

Here's yet another Canadian entry in the early 80s slasher cycle. It's from the same producer of PROM NIGHT (1980) and is less famous than most others in its subgenre, such as TERROR TRAIN (1979) or MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1981). The production history was a troubled one. Curtains actually began filming in 1980, but production was shut down for upwards of a year. One of the main roles was recast, there were numerous re-shoots and the completed film (which certainly shows all the tell-tale signs of its checkered past) wasn't even released in 1983. The reviews were dismal, the producer claims to have filmed at least half of the movie sans credit and the director opted to have his name removed from the credits (and replaced by the name of the film's fictitious director character 'Jonathan Stryker'). Everything opens somewhat promisingly. Famous actress Samantha Sherwood (Samantha Eggar) is set to star as a madwoman in a thriller called Audra. Director and frequent collaborator Jonathan Stryker (John Vernon) brings her into an insane asylum, where she promptly attacks him with a knife, is restrained and put in a straight jacket by the hospital staff. Turns out that Samantha and Jonathan has just faked everything so she can be locked away and 'research' her upcoming role. However, Jonathan decides to just leave Samantha in the nuthouse and cast someone else as Audra.

A casting call is placed in Variety and Jonathan narrows down the possible leads to six actresses, who are summoned to a remote, snowbound mansion for an extended period of time to try out for the role. Amongst the candidates for the high-profile gig are wisecracking, pot-smoking stand-up comedienne Patti O'Connor (Lynne Griffin, from the superior Canadian slasher BLACK CHRISTMAS), fragile dancer Laurian Summers (Anne Ditchburn) and naive champion figure skater Christie Burns (Lesleh Donaldson, from FUNERAL HOME). There's also miserable, desperate veteran actress Brooke Parsons (Linda Thorson, who was best known for replacing Diana Rigg on the last few seasons of The Avengers), who's been hitting the bottle a little too hard recently and claims she "would kill for the part," and magazine centerfold Tara DeMillo ("Sandra Warren" aka Sandee Currie, from the aforementioned Terror Train), who's not above using her feminine wiles to secure the role. The sixth actress, Amanda (Deborah Burgess), is getting bored of acting out rape and pizza delivery boy fantasies with her boyfriend. Good thing for her some psycho sneaks into her apartment and stabs her to death before she even has a chance to make it to Stryker's audition. Meanwhile, Samantha has managed to escape from the mental institution with help from her friend.

Stryker (who seems most interested in bedding the hopefuls than actually casting the movie), an already-cast lead actor (Michael Wincott), the five remaining actresses and Samantha (who shows up presumably to either fight for the role of Audra - after all she was the one who purchased the rights to it - or get revenge on Stryker) end up stranded at the mansion after a bad snow storm. A killer decked out in a wrinkly old lady mask and stringy wig begins bumping them off one by one. Naturally, there are no shortage of suspects, as basically everyone has a possible reason to either trim the competition or ruin the production before it can actually begin.

Most of the actors are talented, the killer's mask is pretty creepy-looking and there are a handful of effective scenes; including the asylum scenes with Eggar (aside from several visible boom mic shots) and a great sequence on an ice rink where the killer skates toward one of his/her victims brandishing a scythe. There's also a chase scene inside a room full of movie props which lasts a whopping twelve minutes if you're into that kind of thing. Otherwise, this is a tame, middling, dreary film with mediocre writing and pacing issues. Very slow-moving for the duration of its runtime, this starts getting a bit chaotic toward the end. In recent years, many slasher fans have elevated this to classic status (possibly because of its obscurity for several decades and belated release to DVD), but I can't say that I personally agree. It's watchable, with some good moments sprinkled throughout, but ultimately nothing special. I'd still like to see a better quality version and will reevaluate it if I do. Maury Chaykin and Kate Lynch (the stars of DEF-CON 4) have small roles.

Trivia Note: Future Playboy Playmate of the Year, late night cable soft-core queen and Mrs. Gene Simmons, Shannon Tweed, provided some brief topless body doubling.

The DVD I watched (which was a poor, dark transfer from a VHS source) was released by Echo Bridge Home Entertainment. It's contained on their release "The Midnight Horror Collection: Bloody Slashers" and is paired on one disc with HOBOKEN HOLLOW (2005), SECRETS OF THE CLOWN (2007) and ROOM 33 (2009).

★★

Brood, The (1979)

...aka: Chromosome 3

...aka: David Cronenberg's The Brood

Directed by:

David Cronenberg

Review coming soon.

★★1/2