La porta sul buio: La bambola (1973) [filmed in 1971] (TV)

... aka: Bambola, La
... aka: Dario Argento's Door Into Darkness: The Doll
... aka: Door Into Darkness: The Doll
... aka: Doll, The

Directed by:
Mario Foglietti

Here's the fourth and final entry in the short-lived La porta sul buio ("Door Into Darkness") series. So let me recap a little about the series and its origins and then we're off! Both THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1969) and The Cat O' Nine Tails (1970) were hits in Italy (though Bird faired better internationally), so RAI (Italy's only television channel at the time) enlisted director Dario Argento to host, produce, sometimes write or direct and generally oversee the suspense tales on their new mystery / thriller / chiller series La porta sul buio. Four episodes were filmed in 1971, but they weren't actually released until the fall of 1973. All of the tales are reasonably budgeted, run about an hour in length, are non-graphic yet very stylish and contain equal parts mystery and terror. Each also has that distinctive Argento stamp on it when it comes to the presentation, camerawork and score. The directors were Argento (who directed The Tram), Luigi Cozzi (who made THE NEIGHBOR), Roberto Pariante (who is credited with directing EYEWITNESS, but rumor has it Argento - sans credit - re-filmed nearly the entire episode himself after being displeased with the original version) and Mario Foglietti, the director of this one. Foglietti made a few other features (he also helped writer Argento's FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET), but this was his only genre film; a shame since this effort shows a lot of promise.

After a very Ed Wood-ian intro ("Look at all these people walking, rushing...) with Argento stating that any one of us can go nutzoid at any moment while showing a crowd of people shuffling about, the story begins with a great montage of POV shots of someone escaping a mental institution and running through the woods, finally managing to hitch a ride. We're next introduced to an unnamed, handsome, well-dressed man (Robert Hoffmann) carrying a black leather bag who shows up at a hotel, rents a room, is extremely unfriendly to the nosy old female innkeeper and then spots a woman outside talking to a boyfriend. The man then immediately starts following the woman around. She turns out to be Elena Moreschi (Erika Blanc), who owns and operates her own fashion house, and seems to be popular with the men folk in the area. Someone sneaks into Elena's garment factory and murders her. A police detective (Gianfranco D'Angelo), with help from a professor of psychology (Umberto Raho) who works at the same asylum the nutcase escaped from, are on the case.

While the police are out trying to locate the escapee, the strange man begins stalking a second woman; the meek Daniela (Mara Venier). He follows her to a toy store, sneaks a doll into her purse and uses that as an excuse to follow her back to her apartment. He more or less barges in and then refuses to leave. Can the police reach Daniela before it's too late? Naturally, this film comes complete with a big twist ending and it's not a hard conclusion to draw before it's actually revealed once the stalker's psychological torment begins. Then again, in this case that's really not all that important; this is primarily a visual piece. And on its own terms, it's fairly successful.

La bambola has truly bizarre camerawork and editing, and shows much more visual flair than the segments directed by Cozzi and Pariante. There are long takes of people walking, flurries of weird camera angles (edited together at a fast clip), high angles, low angles, plenty of moving POV shots and even a shot that starts at the top of someone's head and then quickly zooms out. The camera seems like it never stops moving and the director makes good use of panning shots and tracking shots. He also toys around quite a bit with focus and blur, and comes up with several very interesting and effective uses of it. There's even a long, unbroken shot that floats around the floors of the apartment into and through various rooms that Dario himself would be proud of.

The cast is also pretty interesting. I've been a big fan of Blanc's for years now because of her work in such films as THE VENDETTA OF LADY MORGAN (1965), Kill, Baby... Kill! (1966) and most especially THE DEVIL'S NIGHTMARE (1971), and even though she's only given about fifteen minutes of screen time here, it's always nice to see her. Venier (who also appeared in the 1987 giallo Sweets from a Stranger) is someone I'm completely unfamiliar with, but she was quite good in her role, too. Neither actress is going to be everyone's idea of beautiful, but they both have a very striking and haunting quality about their appearance that fits both the film and the 'doll' motif perfectly. Lead actor Hoffmann (who also starred in Naked Girl Killed in the Park, Spasmo, etc.) is one of those unshaven hunky guys you'd expect to see in a spaghetti western, and does a good job in his enigmatic role also.

★★★

Legacy, The (1978)

... aka: Legacy of Maggie Walsh, The

Directed by:
Richard Marquand

Booking an interior design job from a mysterious client in London, who doesn't quite clue them in on what exactly they'll be doing but offers up a 50,000 advanced bonus, American architect Maggie Walsh (Katharine Ross) and her boyfriend Pete Danner (Sam Elliott), also an architect, decide to fly from Los Angeles to England for a few weeks. While they're out taking a country drive on their motorcycle, they're run off the road by a Rolls Royce being driven by Harry (Ian Hogg), the chauffeur of wealthy Jason Mountolive (John Standing). Because their bike is badly damaged, Jason offers to take them back to his home (a huge, ornate mansion called Ravenhurst) for some tea while they're waiting for repair work to be done. The two are set up in a guest room, explore around the home (which includes a huge indoor pool) and then begin to take notice of some rather peculiar behavior from the staff, their host (who we learn is terminally ill) and a handful of jetsetter guests who have just arrived there via helicopter.

Amongst the elite guests, we have Jacques Grandier (Lee Montague), who owns nearly every luxury hotel along the Mediterranean, Barbara (Hildegarde Neil), who owns the largest publishing empire in Europe, Maria Gabrieli (Marianne Broome), who is a championship swimmer and the most prominent hostess in Rome, Karl Liebknecht (Charles Gray), a former decorate soldier for Hitler, industrial complex making weapons. Clive Jackson (Roger Daltry, yes, that one), who is a successful musician. Somehow, using his wealth and "power," Jason had managed to turn all of their lives around. Each had a rocky beginning to life (one was an impoverished refugee, another a former Nazi soldier, another a Parisian hooker, etc.) and now they're all wealthy and successful. They're all beholden to Jason and must return to his mansion whenever he asks them to. The home is also fully staffed with a bunch secretive cooks, butlers, etc., who seem led by the mysterious Nurse Adams (Margaret Tyzack). Why Maggie (who's had a ring that matches one worn by the other guests and won't come off slipped on her finger by a rapidly deterorating Jason) has been summoned there is all part of the mystery.

After Pete is almost scalded in a burning hot shower, Maria turns up dead in the pool and no one seems to be willing to help them leave, Maggie and Pete decide to high tail it out of there. They steal a few horses, make it to a neighboring village and then steal a car, but no matter what road they take they end up right back at the house. Resigned to her fate, Maggie heads back in to face her fears head on. One of the guests seems to be using black magic to kill off the others. Someone is burned to death by fire that shoots out of the fireplace and then has their burnt remains fed to some vicious dogs. Daltry is given an unsuccessful tracheotomy after choking on a chicken bone and shards of glass from an exploding mirror impale one of the others.

Clearly made to cash-in of the 70s craze of Satanic-themed films spurned on by the box office success of THE EXORCIST (1973) and THE OMEN (1976), this major studio release has obviously been afforded a rather healthy budget and the whole thing has this glossy, professional sheen to it. Not only does the film look fantastic, but the cinematographer has really tried to spice up the proceedings with some interesting camerawork and odd camera placement (including one inside a shower nozzle!). The art direction is also exceptional, and the mansion the movie takes place in is incredible to look at it. Though the leads are a little on the mediocre side, some of the supporting performances are pretty interesting, particularly those given by Standing, Tyzack and Gray.

All that said, this film isn't very well-written. Apparently three different writers (one of whom was Jimmy Sangster) worked on the screenplay and it was drastically altered from its original version. What's left is muddled, confusing, full of obtuse biblical references and cluttered with so much mumbo jumbo that the plot ends up with more holes in it than Neil's pin-cushioned body. It also fails to deliver a single chill despite the awesome Gothic setting, probably because the movie can't decide whether it wants to be a moody Gothic horror film or a lighthearted mystery / romance romp. The score is also a little on the light side. Hell, the whole thing opens with a hokey love song ("a looooove that never grows ollllllld!") by someone named Kiki Dee and throughout the film we're continually tortured with an instrumental version of the same song. Needless to say, that really doesn't up the fear factor any.

But hell, let's just end this on a good note because, surprisingly enough, the movie itself ends up on a good note with a very interesting resolution to Maggie's predicament. I can't really spoil what happens but it really flips the concept of 'good vs. evil' right over onto its head and I didn't really see it coming.

★★

Return, The (1973)

Directed by:
Sture Rydman

Ambrose Bierce (one of 13 children from an impoverished Meigs County, Ohio family) was a fascinating figure who not only was a prolific short story writer, but also a newspaper editor, critic, satirist, poet, journalist and soldier who served in the army during the Civil War. He dabbled in both business and politics, was nicknamed 'Bitter Bierce' because of his caustic, sardonic wit, traveled and worked abroad and famously disappeared never to be seen again sometime during the Mexican revolution (the 71-year-old was last seen in the presence of rebel troops). Bierce is perhaps most famous for his 1891 short story 'An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge,' which has gone on to influence countless writers and filmmakers over the years and itself was filmed as a Cannes Award-winning short in 1962. Bierce also wrote several other ghost stories, which leads us to this short subject. It runs about half-an-hour and was based (only partially) on Bierce's 1891 story 'The Middle Toe of the Right Foot.' I'm not sure where (or even if) it was screened theatrically, but it turned up as part of the PBS series The American Short Story Collection sometime during the 1980s. Many episodes of that series were issued on VHS by Monterey as part of their "Short Story Collection" series. This one was paired with THE MAN AND THE SNAKE (1972), another Bierce adaptation, for the home video release. Both were made by the team of director / writer Sture Rydman, producer Elizabeth McKay and co-writer Brian Scobie.



Lonely spinster Miss Parker (Rosalie Crutchley) has been employed as the caretaker at a huge home for the last twenty years. It's been up for sale the entire time and over the two decades she's seen living there all alone, not one potential buyer has expressed interest in purchasing it or, hell, even renting out a room there. Could be because its reputation precedes it. Many years ago, an unhinged man who detests physical deformity in women ended up getting married and then presumably flipped out once he discovered his new bride had one of her toes removed. He was convicted of shooting her dead with a rifle on their wedding night and then was committed to an insane asylum for life. However, things aren't quite so simple, as a second potential suspect in the killing (a spurned admirer of the bride) was able to walk away a free man. Stephen Royds (Peter Vaughan) - an intense fellow who shows up there late one evening wanting to see the property - doesn't seem to care. In fact, he seems particularly interested in the home's sordid history and would like to see if the the rumors of the home being haunted are true...


Finding overlooked gems like this one is why I love doing what I do. Though not well-known and apparently seldom-watched (judging by the fact you can't even find a review for it anywhere online!), this is an outstanding and chilling ghost tale that deserves an audience. Making due with one location, two actors and absolutely no special effects or visual fireworks to speak of, this is a compact, well-told and economically resourceful tale that delivers creepiness in spades. The sparse yet claustrophobic art direction suits the premise perfectly, as does Douglas Slocombe's shadowy photography and a wonderfully eerie, otherworldly-sounding score from Marc Wilkinson. Though the film actually swipes several key images from the Bierce story, it also incorporates ideas from the work of A.M. Burrage; an author I'm unfamiliar with. Either way, the melding of two different authors is pulled off here flawlessly. Exceptional performances from both lead actors complete the package.

★★★1/2

Ghostess with the Mostess, The (1988)

... aka: Alex de Renzy's The Ghostess with the Mostess

Directed by:
Alex de Renzy

If you'd asked me who my favorite director was fifteen years ago, I may have said Tim Burton. PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE (1985), BEETLE JUICE (1988), EDWARD SCISSORHANDS (1990) and ED WOOD (1994) were some of my most-watched and beloved movies as a kid. Unfortunately, my interest in Mr. Burton has decreased significanly and steadily ever since MARS ATTACKS! (1996). As Burton's budgets started to skyrocket, his output suddenly became cold, noisy and impersonal exercises in elaborate art direction and overblown special effects. His films have always been impressive to look at, but his newer films come off as hollow and heartless once you look beneath the surface. Of Burton's earlier work, the highly imaginative horror-comedy BEETLE JUICE was always my favorite. It involved a good-hearted couple who just so happen to be newly-dead and, as ghosts, attempt to amicably share their home with an obnoxious, pretentious couple of artiste's and their misunderstood Goth daughter. When co-habitation fails, the ghost couple enlist the aid of the titular disgusting poltergeist to help scare off the new family. The film was a pretty big hit and received Oscar nominations. It also spawned this porno parody. For the record, so did Edward Scissorhands (See: EDWARD PENISHANDS 1, 2 or 3).

Instead of a the eccentric family found in Burton's film, here we get a dysfunctional family moving into a new house that's suspiciously cheap. Dad Joe (Joey Silvera) is carrying on a not-so-secret affair with their bitchy, demanding Cuban maid Consuela (Tanya Foxx). Mom Goldie (Aja) is being sexually neglected, while son Jeffrey (Tom Byron) is just left out of the mix with a copy of Hustler to keep him company. Instead of the good-hearted ghost couple, here we get a good-hearted, fun-loving swinger ghost couple; Charlie (Randy Spears) and his ghost girlfriend (Eva Allen as "Marlena Bond"), who I don't think was ever given a name. They're most interested in one-upping each other in who they can have sex with; I guess to see who is the 'ghostess with the mostess'. Charlie makes a b line to mom's bedroom, while the female ghost heads after Jeffrey. The next day, Consuela is possessed and has sex with Jeffrey while he eats rice crispies. And finally, we have the spin on the seance scene, with Dr. Goody Twoshoes (Blake Palmer), his psychic sidekick Fifi (Dana Lynn) and some other chick (an uncredited Lisa Bright) added to the works for a group number.

Ghostess delivers on the sex with a (mostly) attractive and enthusiastic cast who seem to be enjoying themselves. Male star Randy Spears of course has been an adult film mainstay for the past twenty-five years and has, according to IMDb, amassed over 1000 acting credits (!) as of this writing. He's also tried his hand at crossing over into mainstream films by appearing in Chuck Vincent's thriller BAD BLOOD (1989), doing voice work on the TV series American Dad and popping up in many of Fred Olen Ray's recent soft-core films. Aja (born Barbara Holder) was very popular during her four-year career in adult films (having made 80 films in that time) and is often regarded as one of the most naturally beautiful women ever to do adult films. Silvera just recently entered his fourth decade (!) as an adult film star and has directed several hundred of them himself. And of course, it's nearly impossible to watch one of these things without bumping into Tom Byron, who's a pretty terrible actor and not much to look at either but is also still going strong in porn and has an astouding 1500+ credits. Co-star Eva Allen, someone I'm not at all familiar with, was something of a nice surprise. She's extremely vibrant and pleasant in her role, though her career in the adult industry ended after just a few years.

The biggest surprise of all is that much of this material is actually pretty funny. Intentionally so. Even the dialogue during the sex scenes is funny. It's actually funnier than most R-rated horror comedies I've seen. The film works OK as a semi-spoof of Burton's film, following that film's plotline fairly closely, and also throws in a few horror references (there's an EXORCIST joke, a Freddy Krueger poster on the wall...) There are no visual effects in the film aside from some cheap *Boing*-Pops-The-Ghost cuts, but it's competently shot on video and colorful-looking.

If I've noticed any trend in adult films since the age of the internet, it's not only that it's not even necessary for adult films to even be films anymore, but that the sex itself has generally learned more in the direction of degradation and 'extreme' acts. Seeing an older porn like this one, with lots of laughing and smiling, and even glimmers of personality from the performers, marks a sharp contrast to the anonymous direction the genre has gone in recent years.

★★1/2

La horripilante bestia humana (1969)

... aka: Gomar: The Human Gorilla
... aka: Horror and Sex
... aka: Horror y sexo
... aka: Night of the Bloody Apes

Directed by:
René Cardona

Guilt-stricken female grappler Lucy Ossorio (Norma Lazareno) feels she's to blame when she throws opponent Elena Gomez (Noelia Noel) out of the ring and fractures her skull. Well here's some news for you, Lucy: You are to blame! Elena gets an operation to remove a sliver of bone from her brain and remains in critical condition, while her surgeon Dr. Krallman (José Elías Moreno) has some problems of his own. His son Julio (Agustín Martinez Solares) has been stricken down with a mysterious and incurable form of leukemia. Krallman's colleagues tell him Julio's days are numbered, so the doc must resort to extreme measures to try to save him. He and his very dedicated, limping assistant Goyo (Carlos López Moctezuma) promptly head to the zoo, tranquilize an ape (well actually it's an orangutan that transforms to a man-in-a-suit-ape after they sedate it), bring it back to their basement lab and then perform the first ever ape-to-man heart transplant. Julio rapidly recovers from the operation and feels no pain... but then the side effects kick in as he transforms into a barrel-chested ape-faced monster. After his first transformation, Julio escapes from the lab, scales a building and surprises a woman just coming out of the shower. After unsuccessfully trying to rape her, he pummels her to death. Krallman and Goyo manage to track Julio down, tranquilize him again and bring him back home for further study.

While the monster is out cold, the doctor and assistant decide they need a fresh human heart and head to the hospital to swipe Elena since "she'll be an idiot, anyway" because of her injuries. While they're away, Julio in monster form manages to escape again, heads to a park and ambushes a couple sitting on bench; ripping the guy's throat out and ripping the dress off the woman. The monkey-man then goes on a mini-rampage; stabbing a guy to death and popping out another's eyeball with his fingers. He's captured (again), taken back the the lab (for the second time) and then given a brand new heart (oh, here we go again), but history repeats itself as the creature escapes (again) and runs amuck (once more). It uses its bare hands to rip off a head and scalp another guy before transforming back to human Julio. He's rushed off to the hospital, transforms again, grabs a little girl and ends up in a rooftop police stand-off.

It's pretty familiar territory for prolific director René Cardona, as he'd already made four 'Las Luchadoras' (female wrestler) action-horror films prior to this one. Still, there's an obvious reason Bloody Apes (a semi-remake of the Cardona's DOCTOR OF DOOM) is the most famous and was the best-distributed of all these titles. That's because it's extremely gory and trashy for its time. The film was notorious way-back-when for using gruesome, graphic footage from an actual open heart surgery to supply the "effects" for the transplant scenes. Those scenes plus four different instances of nudity and some additional gore had initially been cut from both the theatrical and VHS versions of the film. It's all restored on the DVD and these scenes give the film an exploitative punch that's sorely lacking in most other '60s Mexican productions.

Of course, this is an incredibly ridiculous - though never unentertaining - little film. The dubbed dialogue is horrendous, the effects are primitive, some of the editing is choppy and the premise itself (devised by the director and his director son René Cardona Jr.) is clearly too absurd for words. At one point, Dr. Krallman does attempt to explain the science behind how putting an ape heart into a human results in the creation of a monster, but that only succeeds in making it even more confusing. So apparently...

"The heart of a gorilla is much too potent for any human and the volume of blood to the cerebrum, which couldn't control this great pressure, damaged to the superior parts and when this happens man becomes an animal completely without control, giving origin to the transmutation."

If you can make heads or tails of that explanation (delivered... with... frequent... pauses...), then you're clearly on something. Interestingly, the director seems most influenced by Frankenstein (the monster has an affinity for children) and King Kong (the beast scaling tall buildings to get to a chica).

Some important things have been compromised here to make room for the blood 'n' boobs, most notably in regards to our heroine Lucy, who's actually not the heroine at all (she's also not the lead, despite her star billing). In Cardona's other wrestling women films, the ladies at least get to take part in the action (including fist-fighting with men and helping to destroy monsters), while here our leading lady isn't all that tough (she gets her ass handed back over to her in her second match because she's too 'scared' of injuring her opponent) and has absolutely nothing to do with the main storyline. In fact, most of her scenes are just filler. Lucy does know how to shower, though. She's so good at it, she does it three times. And she's rather adept at nude phone conversations as well, but other than that the character is almost entirely disposable. Reflecting back on the ape man's rampage she dryly dismisses things, "It's unfortunate. Really sad." Even her detective boyfriend, played by Armando Silvestre (traditionally more of a support character in wrestling women flicks) gets more to do that she does. Then again, I guess this isn't an official Luchadoras movie for a reason.

The DVD release from Something Weird pairs the film with the Argentinean effort FEAST OF FLESH (aka The Deadly Organ); appropriate since the two films played on a double-bill in theaters. It includes three minutes of Night of the Bloody Apes outtakes, theatrical trailers, TV spots, a "Ghastly Gallery of Ghoulish Comic Cover Art," the short subjects Gorilla and the Maiden, Artist's Paradise, White Gorilla and much more.

★★1/2