Nightmare on Porn Street (1988)

Directed by:
Scotty Fox

1988 was a big year for Freddy Krueger. In August, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master shattered several box office records for independent productions on its way to becoming the highest-grossing film in the franchise until 2003's Freddy vs. Jason. Two months later came the debut of "Freddy's Nightmares;" an anthology TV series hosted by you-know-who that sometimes also featured stories centered around the dream-slayer. He made guest appearances on the syndicated TV series "DC Follies," conquered MTV with his very own hour long special and an appearance in DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince's music video for "A Nightmare on My Street" and even got to rap in the Fat Boys song "Are You Ready for Freddy?" And, of course, let us not forget the videotaped porno parody Nightmare on Porn Street. Well actually, most have forgotten it. Either that or they'd never want to admit they actually watched it. And it doesn't really even feature Freddy due to a little thing called copyright infringement but that's really just a minor technicality. Nowadays porn parodies of horror films are not rare at all. Everything from Halloween to The Silence of the Lambs to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre to Psycho has been given an X spoof (sometimes multiple ones) hoping to rope in fans of both horror and hardcore. Back in 1988? Well, it wasn't all that common then. Sure, in the 1970s there were porn films featuring vampire or Satanism plots meant to poke fun at horror films, but things didn't get pointed in the direction of specific films until later on. Perhaps the big trend-setter in this department was Friday the 13th: A Nude Beginning (1987) starring Amber Lynn and some guy in a hockey mask. The following year we got this one as well as THE GHOSTESS WITH THE MOSTESS (1988), which borrowed the plot from Beetlejuice. And there are likely others I've never even heard of.

Blonde college student Melissa Tyson (Britt Morgan) wanders into a strange old house, opens up a file cabinet labeled "Victims," pulls out a photo of herself and it suddenly catches on fire. Eddie (Randy Spears), dressed in a trench coat and hat, enters and informs her she's in his house. "Every street I went down and everywhere I turned the house was just there.., and blocking my way... and... just begging for me to enter!," explains Melissa. "And now you want me to... enter... you." returns Eddie before a 10-minute long sex scene in front of a fireplace. For some reason that perhaps only the filmmakers could explain, there's a large framed photo of George Washington on the wall behind them. 

After they finish up, Melissa wakes up in bed. It was only a nightmare. She goes to class the next day to confess her dream to her friends Tracy Williams (Brandi Wine) and Bradley (Mike Horner), only to find out Tracy had the exact same dream about Eddie, who was a janitor at their old high school, died in a chemistry lab explosion and used to watch the three of them play doctor in the school's boiler room. Because of a boring lecture, Tracy falls asleep in class and awakens to find herself alone in the room with her professor, Mr. Wesson (Robert Bullock, speaking in an annoying nasal voice), who gives her a back massage and tries to psychoanalyze her. "Don't get so deep with me, Mr. Wesson... You know I don't understand that stuff!" "The deepest I plan to go with you Miss Williams is 8 inches." Cue scene #2.

In a nod to the original Elm Street film, Melissa has Bradley come over to her house to watch her sleep and make sure she isn't having a nightmare. They talk about something but I barely paid attention because I couldn't keep my eyes off the giant canister of Cheese Balls Brad was eating. He ends up falling asleep and awakens with Melissa's mom (Shanna McCullough) lying in her daughter's place dressed in lingerie. "My name's Beverly, but you call me... yours." She whips out her breasts ("How do you like them apples?") and sex scene #3 begins. Afterward, Beverly turns into Eddie and Bradley wakes up screaming and confused about who he really screwed. The next day at class, the three students discuss matters again. Melissa confesses to still being terrified to sleep because she disapproves of "... being a pawn in someone else's fantasy... even if I do get off pretty good." Tracy is scared because "He's so big I don't think I could take it again!" And perhaps Bradley has the most to worry about: "I woke up with KY jelly in the crack of my ass... I can't hold my shit any more." They organize a sleepover to watch each other sleep. Tracy is tricked into having sex with Eddie (who transforms into Melissa's mom for the obligatory lesbian scene) and then Melissa finally decides to take control of her own dream life during her final romp with Eddie in the classroom. The end.

So there you pretty much have it: five sex scenes and a few dumb laughs crammed into 75 minutes of poorly-shot 80s video. There are no real fx and they didn't bother with any makeup for Eddie, but at least all three actresses have nice all-natural bodies, everyone looks like they're having fun and the whole thing is lighthearted and good-humored. "I want more of the same!," you say? Well, you're in luck. There are loads of other Elm Street pornos on the market to cater to just about every taste out there, including...

Wet Dream on Elm Street (1990) (Cinderella Distributors)

Nightmare on Dyke Street (1992) (HIP Video)

A Nightmare on Twink Street (2010) (Saggerz Skaterz)

A Wet Dream on Elm Street (2011) (Tom Byron Pictures)

Director Fox (whose real name is Scott Cox, which begs the question: If you're going into this line of work and are given a porn-sounding name by birthright, why even bother to change it?) had his hand in several hundred other porn videos, including the vampire-themed Bite! (1990) and the Stephen King-inspired Tomi Knockers (1994). Spears, one of the better-looking male adult stars of his day, would pick up the occasional mainstream gig like starring in Chuck Vincent's thriller BAD BLOOD (1989) on his way to appearing in over a thousand hardcore films. McCullough (who was sometimes billed as "Marcia Grey") also turned up in a few R-rated horror films like The Dead Pit (1989) and Lukas' Child (1993). The film was released on the Moonlight Entertainment label.

★★1/2