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Sunday, May 16, 2021

Pallet on the Floor (1984)

... aka: Murder on the Rocks

Directed by:
Lynton Butler

“People are all scratching a living in this foul world of ours. Scraping and scrimping, and for what? It's work, work, work and then you're dead. I think deep down all of us would like a pallet on the floor.”

Set in the 1960s in a small, bleak coastal town where most of the men work at an industrial facility killing, skinning and freezing livestock for export; a dirty, unrewarding job that has most of the men taking hard to the bottle in order to cope. It doesn't help matters that the work is only seasonal and low wage for most of them, which makes getting by in the off-time that much more difficult. Worker Sam Jamieson (Peter McCauley) does have a few bright spots in his life, however, including marrying his pretty half-Maori bride Susan (Jillian O'Brien), who's pregnant with his child. At their wedding, drunk friend Brendon O'Keefe (Terence Cooper) stumbles outside and mysteriously falls over dead; an ominous sign of things to come.

Sam and Sue start getting harassed by the violent-tempered, racist Jack Voot (John Bach) and his equally nasty brother Joe (Marshall Napier), who are accurately referred to as "odious vermin" by one of the locals. The sons of a local politician, the Voot brothers have a bone to pick with both Sam and his new bride. For starters, Jack was once Sue's lover and is now jealous she's decided to marry someone else despite the fact he passed up the chance to marry her himself when he had the chance. Second, Joe's gossipy (married) lover Miriam (Shirley Gruar) feels burned after going gambling and losing money. She wrongly blames Sue for it and then starts demanding that Sam pay her money back.







Miriam decides to plant seeds of doubt in Sam's head about his new wife. She claims Sue is a "black tart" who was having on an affair with Brendon and that the child she's currently carrying may not be his. Miriam also has another motive: She's dead set on destroying the marriage because SHE is actually in love with Sam herself. Starting to sound like a soap opera, no?

While Sam's at a bar (surprise!) getting drunk, Jack sneaks off to their home. There, he beats Sue in the stomach and attempts to rape her. She manages to fight him off (nearly destroying their home in the process!) and flees into the woods, with Jack in hot pursuit. Luckily, Sam and three of his drinking buddies; Basil (Bruce Spence), Spud (Jeremy Stephens) and Shorty (Michael Wilson), decided to leave early that night and Sue runs into them. A fight ensues, Jack is punched, falls over, hits his head and is accidentally killed. Instead of reporting the crime to the cops, the men stage it to look like he was killed in an accident; aided by a huge stroke of luck that the truck ends up on some railroad tracks just at the right time. Good thing, too, because the local Marshall had already stumbled onto the crime scene.







However, these things never seem to go off without a hitch, do they? Miriam happened to witness the whole act play out and, with help from her equally sleazy husband Stanley (Alistair Douglas), uses the information in an attempt to blackmail Sam. They want him to sign over his property, which is about the only thing of value he owns. Sam does have the opportunity to live a simpler life with the Maori people but has thus far refused; mostly because it would make him look bad in the eyes of the mostly-racist white townsfolk. A big city detective is brought in and starts snooping around and several more "accidental" deaths occur.

Completed in 1983 and shown at the Cannes Film Market in 1984, this was given only a limited theatrical run in its home country three years after it was made. The VHS releases were also few and far between, with one in Australia (which re-titled this Murder on the Rocks) and New Zealand (on the Mirage Home Video label). I'm not aware of any others. Its obscurity is easily understandable once you actually sit through the film. This is not only a misfire, but a misfire of very limited audience appeal, and it struggles to find the right tone.







You know how it's fun to go out drinking with your buddies but not so fun to go out drinking with your buddies when you're the one who has to stay sober and drive all of them home at the end of the night? You know how your drunken buddies are all hilarious when you too are drunk but are extremely annoying whenever you have to deal with them soberly? Well, that's pretty much this film in a nutshell. We the viewer are the sober ones and every character is the obnoxious, irritating, slurring, falling down drunk friend we can't wait to ditch after a few hours. I've watched a number of films specifically about alcoholism that have less drinking and fewer pathetic and obnoxious drunks than this movie. That's all these men, even our hero, live for. First thing they do when they get up in the morning is drink. Their dialogue seems entirely centered around the characters needing a drink or going to get a drink. They drink at work, at home and while driving. They spend all of their free time in the bars sucking down liquor by the pint while simultaneously bemoaning the fact they never have any money.







But that all makes sense seeing how the author of the source novel, Ronald Hugh Morrieson, was himself an infrequently-employed (including at a freezing works as depicted in the film) and depressed drunk (ditto) who spent his entire life in his small New Zealand hometown until his own alcoholism-fueled early death in 1972. Pallet was Morrieson's fourth and final novel and wasn't even released until four years after his death. It wouldn't be until years later that his work started being reevaluated by critics and he now has a literary award named after him, though he remains mostly unknown outside of Australia and New Zealand. I'm not sure how close this is to the source novel (which reputedly was never even finished), but it honestly did little to pique my interest in the writer.


Regardless of what kind of commentary they were shooting for here and the adequate period detail, this film itself just doesn't work on any level. It's mostly an attempt at black comedy, with blubbering inebriated clods lurching around everywhere and "casual" murders and deaths no one really seems to make too much of, but it's seldom ever funny. A movie like this really needs to be outrageous and a bit over-the-top at times to work, and this is just too rooted in its depressing environment and miserable characters to achieve laughs. The characters are neither interesting nor endearing, their lives are dismal and bland (even after the killings are introduced) and the entire film is aimless, repetitive and never really seems to go anywhere. Highly uneven acting and bland visual presentation don't help matters any.

The director had previously made the Morrieson TV biography One of Those Blighters (1982) starring Bruno Lawrence as the writer. Lawrence did the music for this one and also appears in a cameo as the author, who can be seen in a bar band (Morrieson had also worked as a musician).

★1/2

Saturday, May 15, 2021

Fatal Charm (1990)

... aka: Seduzione omicida (Murderous Seduction)
... aka: Tödlicher Charme (Deadly Charm)
... aka: Urok mordercy (Murderer's Charm)

Directed by:
"Alan Smithee" (Fritz Kiersch)
Peter Medak (uncredited; replaced)

Lots of tell tale signs this was a troubled production, beginning with the infamous "Alan Smithee" directorial pseudonym being used. According to the Turner Classic Movies website, filming began in early 1989 and, at some point, original director Peter Medak was replaced by Fritz Kiersch. I'd imagine there must have been problems if the director of The Changeling was swapped out for the director of Children of the Corn, though neither man wanted to take credit for the end results (it's also unclear whether Medak made it far enough into production to even direct any of the scenes). Bizarrely, Fatal Charm was released oversees several years before it was seen by American viewers. There's a VHS release in Germany dating back to 1990 but this didn't make its U. S. debut until the Showtime cable channel aired it in 1992 and wasn't released on home video until 1993 here. I've found no evidence this ever even played in theaters, though there's also no evidence this was made with cable TV specifically in mind, despite what several websites say.


Troubled high schooler Valerie Richter (Amanda Peterson) is having issues with both her police detective mother Susan (Mary Frann) and her mother's lover, Louis (James Remar). As far as mom is concerned, Valerie's mad that she's openly carrying on an affair with Louis, who has yet to divorce his wife and has thus become the subject of local gossip. As far as Louis is concerned, he has a tendency to get drunk, make passes at Val when her mom is away and occasionally makes out with her (he may have even slept with her a time or two - though it is left somewhat vague). Because of this, Val is understandably angry, bitter, confusedand vulnerable.

Meanwhile, clean cut Adam Brenner (Christopher Atkins) is accused of raping and murdering at least six women over a three month period of time. Part of his legal defense is that his former roommate (who's been missing since Adam's arrest) actually did it, but that claim is quickly dispelled once the roommate's dead body washes up on the beach and his death fits the same m.o. (crushed esophagus due to strangulation) of the other victims.








As a means of distraction from her own miserable life, Valerie has been obsessing over both the trial and Adam. She religiously watches news coverage on TV, saves newspaper clippings of him, has lens flare-y, hazy erotic dreams about him having strangle fetish doggy style sex with her and another woman (Tracy Dali) in a van, becomes pen pals with him, starts skipping school and taking a bus into the city so she can see the court proceedings in person and becomes completely convinced of his innocence ("Why would anybody that gorgeous need to rape someone?") Part of me wanted to laugh at all this until I realized there are currently millions of teenage girls all over social media as we speak making excuses for the bad, and frequently criminal, behavior of whatever scandal-plagued social media "influencer" they happen to like or think is cute, so this really isn't too far outside the realm of reality, is it?








The jury finds Adam guilty of all counts and sentence him to die in the gas chamber. He's shipped off to San Quentin to await execution. Being a celebrity killer, he immediately attracts the interest of the other inmates. On one hand, there's a black gang lead by Willy (Ken Foree) threatening to kill and castrate him ("I'm gonna cut your dick off and shove it down your throat!"). On the other, there's Adolph (Ned Romero), who offers him protection in exchange for him becoming his boy toy bitch. All the while, Adam continues his correspondence with Valerie. Valerie's best friend Sandy (Lar Park Lincoln) tries to set her up with a nice, non-convict boyfriend (Andrew Lowery) but she's only really interested in Adam. When her mom finds out she's been writing him, she drags her to the police station where the sheriff (Andrew Robinson) tries to scare her straight by showing her crime scene photos of Adam's victims. Not even that convinces her.

After a prison fight leaves several men dead, the authorities decide it best to move Adam elsewhere. While he's in a holding cell awaiting transfer, several other inmates fake illness so they can overwhelm an officer. And they're nice enough to unlock Adam's cell before taking off. Adam makes it to a bar, where any questions about whether or not he's actually a psycho are answered when he sneaks into the back of a couple's van, strangles the guy while he's getting a blowjob and then kills his girlfriend. From there, he decides to stalk Valerie and then kill off her friends and family.









Profanity and some brief nudity aside, this psycho-thriller comes off a lot like any number of very average made-for-TV movies. While it's not poorly made or acted, and it gets a little credit for covering a lot of bases, the dialogue is mediocre and the script has some VERY questionable story points, starting with the depiction of the protagonist's home life. When Val confesses to her mom that her boyfriend has been sexually abusing her, the mom (who works in law enforcement for Christ's sake!) refuses to believe her, slaps her in the face and, later, lets her daughter's molester babysit her while she's at work! In between those infuriating scenes, they then expect us to be moved by these "heartwarming" mother/daughter bits like them snuggling in bed and such, which are impossible to take seriously.








Providing the most interest here is the cast. I'm generally not a fan of the male star; a surfer-looking former teen heartthrob with a Cheshire Cat grin who has perhaps the worst filmography of the 80s. I'm not even joking when I say that with The Blue Lagoon, A Night in Heaven, The Pirate Movie, Beaks, Listen to Me and MORTUARY ACADEMY preceding, this 2 Star movie actually may be the best thing he'd done up to this point! Though he did nothing to change my opinion of him, to be fair, he's not embarrassingly bad here even though his performance is mostly bug eyes and intense camera stares. Peterson (who passed away in 2015 of a drug overdose) fairs a little better as the teen whose "youthful idealism" puts her life at risk but it's also kind of sad this is the best offer she netted just a few years after her appealing performance in the 80s teen comedy Can't Buy Me Love (1987).


The cast also includes Peggy Lipton and Robert Walker Jr. as opposing attorneys, singer and VENUS IN FURS star Barbara McNair as a teacher, Shelley Smith and Carol Higgins Clark (daughter of novelist Mary Higgins Clark) as reporters, Kevin Brophy (Hell Night) and J. Trevor Edmond (who later starred in Pumpkinhead 2 and Return of the Living Dead III).

★★
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