Ratings Key

= Excellent. The best the genre has to offer.
1/2 = Very Good. Perhaps not "perfect," but undoubtedly a must-see.
★★★ = Good. Accomplishes what it sets out to do and does it well.
★★1/2 = Fair. Clearly flawed and nothing spectacular, but competently made. OK entertainment.
★★ = Mediocre. Either highly uneven or by-the-numbers and uninspired.
1/2 = Bad. Very little to recommend.
= Very Bad. An absolute chore to sit through.
NO STARS! = Abysmal. Unwatchable dreck that isn't even bad-movie amusing.
SBIG = So Bad It's Good. Technically awful movies with massive entertainment value.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Terror at London Bridge (1985) (TV)

...aka: Arizona Ripper
...aka: Bridge Across Time

Directed by:
E.W. Swackhamer

The London Bridge is transported to Lake Havasu, Arizona and reconstructed there brick by brick, but the spirit of legendary lady killer Jack the Ripper also comes along for the trip and is unleashed (via a drop of blood) onto the unsuspecting public. Suddenly, women are being murdered, a detective (David Hasselhoff) is called in to investigate and city officials (*yawn*) try to cover it all up so it doesn't cut into their tourism. Routinely directed with a predictable formula script full of stock characters and situations, this made-for-TV movie (originally broadcast as BRIDGE ACROSS TIME but on VHS under the title TERROR AT LONDON BRIDGE) actually copies many ideas from German director Ulli Lommel's obscure 1983 thriller OLIVIA (aka FACES OF FEAR). The cast (Stepfanie Kramer, Adrienne Barbeau, Clu Gulager, Lindsay Bloom, Ken Swofford, Rose Marie, Lane Smith, Barbara Bingham) is pretty interesting, at least.


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